Monday, March 19, 2012
I have been really bummed about not being able to run. And I have a love/hate relationship with running. It has never/will never come naturally to me. I was initially slightly relieved to have an excuse to have a break from running. That wore off in a real hurry though. I've relied heavily on runnin for my weight loss and maintenance and rather than immediately sucking it up and picking new activities to stay fit and healthy... I just felt depressed and lost without it and let myself fail. It's my own fault. Poor me, I have an injury and I can't/shouldn't run wah wah... move on and do something else. I get so intimidated and thrown off by routine changes. I don't know why, or what to do about it or how to conquer that. I'm frustrated with myself because I'm still honestly not very motivated. I've been in a state of hopelessness lately. and I know on a lot of levels I'm NOT hopeless. hardly. but I feel it, and it's hard to shake off this funk that I am in.
I had my first physical therapy session this morning. It was good, and informative. She pinpointed the cause of my muscular imbalances to be actually related to my hyper-flexible back and my tight hips. This was causing issues with my IT band keeping my knee in place and it's not tracking right. It's kinda nice to know all that on some level, not that any of it is good ... I mean I've always been a big girl not just in terms of overweight but tall and muscular. I'm sure many big folks out there with injuries, especially something like the knee can relate to the thought "I'm so fat and I'm running and this is all my fault for running and being so fat, my knees can't handle my weight" I almost wanted to shy away from help/therapy because of hearing someone really say that to me. Tell me I'm just not a person who should run. So, not that I want an injury it's just nice to know there's a real correctable reason behind it and that they didn't just look at me and think "oh of course her knee is hurting from running, just look at her" or something like that. I feel hopeful now that I'm in good hands.
I've been doing a lot of yoga. I challenged myself to do 30 yoga classes in 40 days. That 40 day period ends at the end of this month. My parents were out here visiting me the past ten days so that threw me off a bit. I will need to play some catchup but I'll at least be close, and really happy anyway. I've made a lot of awesome balance and strength strides from doing all this yoga. I'm ready for more now. I think I can take on doing plenty of yoga, resistance training and I'm going to start by adding swimming and walking backwards and sideways on the treadmill to my routine. take it from there...
Friday, February 24, 2012
When it comes to working out, it goes without saying that everyone has different abilities. Not just in the sense that people are in different states of in-shape-ness, but that everyone has those activities that come more naturally to them than other things do. Myself, like I'm sure many others... like to stick to those activities at the expense of a truly balanced workout.
Running. Core strength. Balance. These are my own personal top 3 things I have to work really really hard at - just to find myself still well below average in performance. The more you hate it, the more you probably need it though, right? One of my first fitness challenges was weaning myself off the elliptical and stationary bike at the gym, and setting out to make myself into a runner. Cycling is a thing that DOES come naturally to me. So, the accomplishment (for me personally) of being able to go out and do an impressively hard, long bike workout when I haven't touched my bike in a year pales in comparison to the way I felt when I ran my first [slooow] mile without having to stop. The more I have to overcome, the more awesome I feel once I achieve my goals. Makes sense, right? So push yourself!
Lately, since I canít runÖ I donít find myself as motivated by doing other cardio activities. Youíd think youíd be more motivated to do things you excel at right? Haha. Not me! I like a good challenge. Iíve been doing a lot of strength training, and yoga lately. So the balance and the core have been seeing some major improvements! Last night I had a moment in plank where I was like ďI feel light, in control, and like I could stay here foreverĒ It was my core equivalent of that first full mile. Iíve always done strength training for like a half hour routine a few times a week. Never like 2-3, hour long heart pumping circuit workouts each week with a lot of core focus, and a ton of yoga. I will admit I need to see some more explicit cardio centric workouts enter my routine, but I feel good about my progress lately. Iíve really been pushing myself and it has been paying off. The ability to do things you were not able to do before is worth every drop of sweat and moment spent wishing the workout would end.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Oops I haven't been a very good blogger. I have been a very diligent exerciser though, and I've made a lot of really big strides with my food habits. But more importantly, I have been making a lot more realizations behind all of this stuff mentally. I've been being more honest with myself about triggers, and thoughtfully considering an appropriate alternatives to train myself to have better responses to temptations.
I've been getting up 2 mornings a week the past 2 weeks to do yoga. I've wanted to add it back into my routine again. I caught myself wanting to do a 30 days challenge again. Then i remembered - that sort of stuff burns me out. I need to ease into it and have good expectations. I'm strength training a lot more than I ever have. 3x a week, adding weights, for hour-long sessions. I've been strengthening my core a ton which has been amazing. I always did strength before, but shorter sessions on my work lunch break a couple times a week.
Running has been slow. I basically have dropped my training program to workout witha couple friends here. It's worth it to me to build up training buddies than to workout alone at my own pace. I'm not trying to prove anything, and I'm still getting an awesome workout. The strength has been every better for me, like I said. I'm a ton more consistent. I'm realizing I'm pretty kick-ass at making workout routines :)
Now the drive to lose more weight fast is kicking in. And I'm trying to squash that. I am in a good place mentally, and adding in a lot of good habits gradually and being really consistent. I'm doing what I realistically can, and I'm doing it with friends. Everything is going to work out in time.
I did find out something very unfortunate today though. My knee has been making a gross grinding/clicking noise feeling when I go up and down stairs or do any deep knee bending (squatting, kneeling, etc...) for several months now. Without pain, so I was told not to worry. It's very common. Well, I've started to get occasional shooting pains in my knee when I run. It has started to get to a point beyond just "better watch it" So I internet diagnosed myself with Chondromalacia Patella. A common injury, and especially among women runners when you are younger. and basketball players haha. I talked to my Mom and she suspected that too, without me even telling her that was my thought. She has had lots of knee surgeries/issues and knows a lot about the knee haha. Anyway this blows because I cannot - run, squat, lunge, hills, stairs - like... a lot of the things i do all the time. I've been doing everything I shouldn't.
so shifting gears.... lots of yoga (without going deep enough in chair pose/warriors to aggravate my knee) some swimming, and biking without too much resistance. and lots of strengthening my quads, balance exercises and strength training that doesnt involve making a sickening noise in my knee. okay. so... this sucks but the positive thing is that I can still do a lot of things I really enjoy. and I can walk that 10 mile race damnit, even if I can't run. 3 hour time limit. eaaaasy.
Friday, January 13, 2012
I've been doing really well, and I've been doing really well just naturally too. I didn't suddenly snap into crazy 7,000-8,000 calorie weeks and start tracking and obsessing over my food. I made up a training program for my friend and I to follow, and started doing really good comprehensive workouts each week. A few circuit training workouts and a few runs each week all with the goal of training with my friend for her first 10 mile race! We have a plan, we're sticking to it.
The training is actually helping me stay serious about my nutrition too! This has always been the part I DONT have control over (binge eater over hurrr) I'm finding myself deciding what to eat based on my workouts and what I'll need to fuel them and what I'll need to recover from them. That's to say, I'm eating very mindfully.
I have a plan for gradually increasing what I'm doing for workouts, and eventually adding on more. I'm taking care not to burn out, and to just decide each day I want to choose healthy foods and activities that contribute to the success of my overall goals. I have someone in my life to do a lot of this with and keep me accountable. I've shared my goals with Jon, and I've shared them with you as well. I've also been more honest with myself about when I'm doing negative things, and stopping them before they get out of control. So maybe I ate a few too many dark chocolate cashews last night... I'm still doing a heck of a lot better than I was a few weeks ago. I don't let little slip ups bother me because I'm in a good place with this all mentally.
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