TBOGENER   5,856
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300 and Then Some?

Saturday, October 26, 2013

I can hardly believe it has been that long since I have been active. Why did I come back? Didn't I learn it all in Tulsa? Why do I need my fellow friends on this journey now? I will tell you why....I get to 304 (3x's) and then I ease up and right back up I go. This time I asked myself what could make it better? What was missing in my life? What did I need to do? The answer was to reach out to my spark friends.

No, I didn't learn anything really new in Tulsa at the Radar Clinic. I did learn that I had a pretty unhappy childhood. Baby Teresa, a part of my personality comes and throws "fits" and talks "baby talk" to get my way. Not very becoming for your counselor to confront you with. In my defense, I had helped evacuate the facility we were in and got everyone safely where administration told us to go. We had a fire. DOES NOT COUNT-- Vickie was given a glowing report on my behavior and when I was doing the "baby talk" wanted to know what had gone on over the weekend. That's how I roll...take care of everyone and when the crisis is over....Baby Teresa coms and eats what Teresa would not. Crazy...just call me because this is what I learned.

So, I am glad to be here. I am just sorry I haven't made time for Sparkpeople earlier. Also, my dear friends I thank you so much. If there is anything I can do to answer questions or help in any way I will or I'll send "Baby Teresa."

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NELLIEC 10/27/2013 4:07PM

    Well, at some point, hopefully Baby Teresa can be integrated with Teresa so your behavior is more understandable to you and you can develop self-control.

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Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Wow, what an exciting day. I have had so many cyber friends and real friends wish me well. Alot of my emotional baggage when I wrote the line THE LINE HAS BEEN DRAWN, was seeing this day fast approaching and so much physical pain from knees (left in particular). To my friends who took the time and read the blog and could read between the lines and give me some great advice, many thanks go out to you.

Surgery didn't seem to be an option with the problem being in the head. I did some investigation and found the famous Radar Institution. The specialize in eating disorders and in history probably one of the first among such places. I have been making calls and found the closest one to Fl is in Ok. They did a consultation over the phone with me. Their treatment team met and the Medical Dr. on board wanted to know (since I sleep with O2) for certain I did not suffer sleep apnea, For some reason, after the consult, I postponed the study for a couple of weeks, to finish up some tasks (didn't all happen but some did).

I went yesterday to get my results from Dr. Tonner. He got me ready to fly away to the eating disorder clinic, and gave me my flu shot too! PTL He didn't quite understand a little speciality psych ward within a big pschy within a "real" (son's term) hospital. He looks like Bill Nye the science guy and had a most comical expression on his face. He did smile when I told him real......anyway he keyboarded away and said take care and was gone to his next 15 min. with another patient. Yes that is what Dr. aim for or less. Suggestion have all questions written down so you can go rapid fire!

I went to the window they gave me my copy of the report and I gave them the fax and phone numbers to send my information. I was so anxious today, since Ok. is central time I couldn't call them or so I thought until 10 my time Oh contrare, they called me, they received the fax results in time yesterday for the M.D. to go over them and approve me for treatment! I am to come asap. They meet me at the airport and return me there after the 21 day treatment program. I have never been so happy to sign myself in to a psych ward!

Surely, they will have some insights about my head and thinking. What I learn I'll share in a blog. It's probable in a motivational article on spark, they have some good ones. I want to know more about me and self defeating behaviors, I have tried for 50 years. I am ready to see if they can point me in the right direction. Nellie this is a Christ centered program that uses the 12 steps of A.A. so I know if that Mayan calendar is right I will be raptured and that is O.K. too.

So, dear ones these are things I have been up to, since I have not been regularly checking in. I have received so much support here Cherione, Nellie, Jenny, and Sandra, all of you are so encouraging. I feel like Sally Field when she accepted her oscar, "You like me....you REALLY DO LIKE ME. Love, Teresa

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRAMPAM 11/29/2012 5:39AM

    Hugs! Hope your birthday was great. Best of luck with the treatment program.

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FENWAYGIRL18 11/28/2012 6:36PM


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LARISSA238 11/28/2012 6:03PM

    *hugs* Happy birthday and best of luck in the new treatment center! I hope it helps!

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NELLIEC 11/28/2012 5:58PM

    It sounds like a great place to go! I smiled at your comment about the Mayan calendar! emoticon

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COOKINGSTARS 11/28/2012 4:58PM


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PICKIE98 11/28/2012 4:35PM

    What a gift to have this available to you,,

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CHERIONE 11/28/2012 4:29PM

    You are loved, T. Praying this is the right path on your journey. emoticon

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Wednesday, November 21, 2012

I love to make comparisons to trains in my blogs. I have been "gone" for awhile now, no I do not know where I have been or for that matter what I have been doing. I am however, here today. I have read several friends pages. Other people's pages and everyone is searching trying to get "on track". Wondering if they can stay "on track" for the coming holidays. Others are steady as you row...oh...or chug?? tooting right along on their track. A big shout out for them. WTG!

If you know anything about model railroading, you have this wonderful piece of track (I know not it's name) but when your tiny train runs over it, if any cars are going to derail it balances them and gently guides them onto the track. Once the engine clears that piece of rail everything that might have derailed is put right and the model train makes another round

Sometimes working as "the engineer" one has to coach the little engine to the rerailing piece with a gentle finger. Then usually presto! everything follows in perfect form. However, if we have been playing model train for awhile and we experience difficulty we walk away until we feel like taking time to invest in our hobby. we don't beat ourselves up and we know that the train will be there for us to reroute.

If we have been "off track" or "lost track (me)" or "on track" worrying about staying there won't help. Worry only takes today's joy and now listen carefully......most important message in the blog (I think) and it makes us doubters of God's Ability To Take Care of Us and the World. As the holidays approach, let's pray knowing God has the unique piece that balances the train and always Has The Gentle Touch. Pray for peace and God Bless Us. Love in Christ My Saviour, Teresa

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHERIONE 11/24/2012 7:12AM

    We all need that little finger to gently guide us back on track whether its God's word early in the morning, or a dear friend, Sparkfriend, or even a stranger. You can do it, you know the track ahead, it's familiar enough and you know some of the things that can cause another derailment. We all have them. Wheels on the track, Theresa. That's the only way you're going to get there! (((Hugs))) meet you at the station, come on, you can do it.

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NELLIEC 11/21/2012 7:08PM

    I think too often people forget the meaning of the holidays (Holy days) in the rush to get everything ready. We need to remember that Thanksgiving is about giving thanks to God, and that Christmas is about the birth of our Savior! All the other details are not important.

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RDGISME 11/21/2012 7:05PM

    We need only to remember that He has us ALL in His hands!!

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Tuesday, August 28, 2012

I miss Binky. He was my little black, ornery daschund. He was tipped with brown. Brown eye brows and a tip of brown on his tail, and on his paws. He had a bright white diamond on his chest. In the winter of 04 I was taking care of my mother. We were pretty house bound she was on 0/2 24 hours a day, I decided if I could find a pound dog on the internet that I loved through the monitor and could get him by Christmas eve that would be God rewarding me for taking care of my ornery mom. Local search nothing, I kept expanding looking for a Jack Russell I thought. God found me Binky. There he was, love at first site. Yes the woman who was caring for him (their cty had no shelter) said she would meet me at Manhattan, KS. We spent the 24th exchanging Binky's home. He rode home in a big cage, asleep, when I pulled into my driveway it could have been either house. Binky marched right up the stairs to his new home. He sleep with me every night. When I moved to Florida I had to leave Binky behind. So, if you take the time to read this please do me a favor and say a little prayer that I did find Binky a good home. I know I did my best. I hope Binky does too. I loved him and always will. I will never have another pet because my heart breaks still missing Binky. Thank you for listening. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHERIONE 8/28/2012 7:47AM

    So sad! Binky sounds like a sweetie and I'm sure you placed him in a loving home. emoticon

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CHANGELIFE2016 8/28/2012 3:22AM

    I have a jack russel and she is my baby. my heart would break if i had to leave her behind somewhere too. Prayers are with Binky and that she has a nice. loved, safe home!

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Saturday, August 25, 2012

The doctor drew the line and I had already told my son I was ready to start smoking I had gained weight. The Doctor says the smoking had nothing to do with it. he put me on 800-1000 calorie a day diet. emoticon My knee is horrible my son who is an orthopedic dr. told me to go get some cortisone shots regardless of cost. emoticon So, we will do this then we will go to the gym and try to build up some muscle mass around the knee. I am keeping track of calories and will do the same with exercise and in four weeks if I haven't lost a respectful amount of weight I am going to ask him to put me in an assisted living facility. This weight is going. I just feel bariatric surgery is not for me. It is scary. So this is the plan. Of coarse, I will keep you updated. I love my games I play here and my friends. Pastor Joe I'm praying for you. Chris, you little gnome your head shot is terrific. So long for now. I'll let you know how the Dr. visit goes. Stayed tuned.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NELLIEC 8/26/2012 3:24PM

    May I suggest that if you continue having problems, wait on the assisted living and ask the doctor for a referrral to a nutritionist. Doctors really don't know very much about nutrition.

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ATLTRAINR 8/26/2012 7:46AM


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CHERIONE 8/26/2012 6:44AM

    Theresa, I'm so sorry you're going through a rough time. The logical Theresa knows smoking and giving up are not wise options but pain and discouragement skew the logic. Try the shots, work the plan and I'll be praying for you. A little weight loss is truly what you're shooting for. Baby steps are still steps in the right direction. emoticon

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