Sunday, July 04, 2010
Okay, for the month of July, I decided to do two simultaneous streaks: (1) stay on the low side of my calorie intake, and (2) exercise every day (6 days of cardio, 4 days of Strength Exercises; on Sunday light Strength Exercises.
Now you would think that by doing this I would start losing again, but, alas, I havenīt! Reminds me of last year when I decided to increase my cardio for a month and I began to steadily gain weight! That was maddening, aggravating, destimulating!!! However, I just keep plugging along hoping for the day that this ole body of mine finally says, Okay, had īnuff, not gonna fight it anymore and lets go of the fat!
As an old-hat SparkPerson, I know all the conversation about why I gained back half of what Iīd originally lost AND why I canīt get the weightloss ticking again. I know about replacing fat with muscle. I know about calorie cycling. What I donīt understand is why I, ME, doesnīt lose it!
Well, I am not going to lose my mind over this or stress out over it! And, unlike soooo many times in the past (not since I joined SparkPeope, mind you), I will not quit and return to the "unhealthy healthy" living I repeated over and over trying every diet fad under the sun!
I will simply stick to the program and keep learning new exercises, new stretches, more yoga positions, challenging myself, enjoying myself, and smiling at myself in the mirror. Because this is MY Life, after all!
I have appreciated the input and encouragement of my SparkFriends and online buds. Want you to know that you are part of what keeps me going. A huge part of my past included extreme loneliness. Explanations of why have been offered by several who donīt have all the facts. I do not want to elaborate on this here. Just want to say that because of a few special "angels", SparkPeople.com with all of the teams and friends made through this experience, and contacts through FaceBook, that is now my past experience, not my NOW!
Often, what seems an impossible climb is just a staircase without the steps drawn in. ~Robert Brault
Monday, June 28, 2010
Here I am working out with my 20 lb kettlebell - some day Iīll have enough $ for a 2nd one! Looking forward to that day. Nice to see myself doing this cuz I need to swing with a deeper squat! Clip starts with my punching bag then scans - see my dumbbell rack and elliptical. Keep my mat, stability ball and bands in the bedroom.
Exercising today with some oldies via internet on WJYE Buffalo, NY
Sunday, June 20, 2010
I am grateful that after having surgery early 2009, Daddy lived beyond the dr.īs predictions until April 29, 2010. He had a heart attack and left us briefly during that surgery - I arrived shortly after and he was sitting up in a chair in his hospital room. When I said good-bye after a month helping with my parentīs care last year, I guessed it would be the last time I saw him in person. We did get to have many phone conversations in that time.
My father suffered a great deal in his lifetime, but always had a smile to greet me and a compliment for me. He was proud of all of his children, but like me, hated it that I live on another continent. As a young person, I never imagined what it would feel like to be so far away when my loved ones are in need. But, I made that choice and raised my family here. When ourson left us in death, I realized how very little my family knows our children and regretted not pushing hubby into going more often and staying longer. Still do. Canīt change that.
Now Iīm living long distance from our kids and that adds its own kind of emotional uproar inside of me. We are doing the best we can and we see them as often as we can. Our living children visited my parents/their grands recently (nd last year). And, you know, I feel gratitude towards them and God that they WANT to be with us and WANT to spend time with other family members. Not all offspring do. And, as I often say, kids donīt come with guarantees!
Well, I keep on working on the emotional eating. Wonder if I will ever get over this. I know it fills a space that I wish wasnīt there. I know that it is not a spiritual void because my spiritual life helps me to lean harder on my heavenly Father and what I know to be true. A place to run when I am overwhelmed with uncomfortable circumstances and difficult moments. And that is all they are - moments; moments that I am learning to get through without sticking something unhealthy in my mouth, or at least, catching myself doing that and stopping it!
It is MY Life, after all, and I am the only one that can make the change!
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