Tuesday, July 11, 2006
I havenīt found much encouragement over the yrs to do what I do best. Perhaps itīs self-centeredness that holds me back when I donīt feel that my talents are wanted. Seems like when Iīm happiest and deeply involved in a project that I love, certain individuals hafta tell me how flawed it is, how they would do the job, and ask me why Iīm not doing another job!!!! Ouch!!
Iīm glad now that I never have known how to talk back to these people. I was left with my mouth open and confused by their comments, lack of empathy, and lack of encouragement. I have wondered if they didnīt want me to be happy. But I think that it has been more that they were so busy with their own agendas that they didnīt take the time to get to know me, or anyone else for that matter.
Thank God that I have matured and realized that I do not have to stay to listen to them anymore! So, even though I have moved away from them, why do I still have their voices in my head - telling me that I canīt do it!?! telling me how weak and selfish I am (when I am not!)!?! telling me they would rather that I choose to do what they think I should be doing!?!
I am relieved to be getting stronger - stronger in my relationship with the Father, stronger in knowing who I am and for what I stand, and stronger emotionally. And, itīs amazingly wonderful to have found a few good friends who will stand by me no matter what - not only because they care about me, but also because they accept me for who I am!