Sunday, July 08, 2012
Ever feel like you are going through a period of stagnation in your life--just kind of waiting for something, ANYthing to happen?
Well, even though it feels kind of late in life to be doing so, currently, I am working VERY hard at MAKING things happen for myself in those key areas that matter--work, love, self-acceptance. Who knew striving for balance in one's life could be such hard work? But I have to keep plugging away. I'm not striving for perfection--just "better".
Saint Francis de Sales: “Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them -- every day begin the task anew.”
Note to self:
Response to self: Hey, I'm trying!
Monday, January 02, 2012
"I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody's ever made before. Don't freeze, don't stop, don't worry that it isn't good enough, or it isn't perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work, or family, or life. Whatever it is you're scared of doing, do it. Make your mistakes. Next year and forever."
Thursday, December 01, 2011
1. taking the stairs EVERYwhere i could
2. parking at the top of the parking garage so i'd have to take the 4 flights of stairs TWICE a day.
3. adding in more fruit and veggies
4. bought (2) 10lb dumbbells cuz i be gettin' stronger
where i could do better:
1. getting more sleep
2. being more consistent with my workouts
today is not over yet.
Tuesday, November 08, 2011
seriously, since i turned 42 this past september, the last couple of months have seriously tested my mettle. therefore, i have decided to hopefully develop (and stick to) a few simple and seemingly attainable goals for the remainder of 2011. (yeah, well, just SEE how attainable they are but hey! let's try to be positive--FOCUS people!)
the overarching goal is to love myself a little bit each day in ways that matter using a combination of the following:
1. work out 5-6 days/a week EVEN if it's ONLY for 30 minutes-- this all or nothing approach i bin sportin' has been, well, in all honesty, not as effective as i would have liked--solving, well, NOthing frankly!
2. get in SOME strength training dammit (cuz it makes me feel like a SEXY badass).
3. get some sorta flexibility training (cuz it makes me feel like a sexy, LIMBER badass)
4. spend time quietly SOMEwhere doing "me" stuff--no time like the present, right?
5. shuffle my "too-old-to-pull-this allnighter-shiznit" arse off to bed at a decent hour.
6. eat a little better EVERY day--as if my life depended on it--cuz don't it?
7. even though we are no longer together--remind the person most important to me, after, well, me--that you still love them cuz it's important that they know.
sorry but that's all i got right now and guess what--thats PLENty.
Friday, November 04, 2011
1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? yup and we're not even together anymore...
2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now? OMFC-why in the WORLD would i wanna do that?
3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time? a more appropriate question might be "when wasn't i?"...
4. Would you ever smile at a stranger? i've made that mistake plenty of times in the past--see no point in stopping now...
5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? NOPE
6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today? C'mere by Interpol www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaDw4CAcXVE
7. What exactly are you wearing right now? white tshirt, grey sweat capris, a black bandana and a black hooded sweat jacket
8. How often do you listen to music? damn near everyday
9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more? depends on my mood
10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2012? YEP--already has--new car, new job and soon a new place to live. i'd say that's pretty f*qing dramatic wouldn't you.
11. Are you a social or an antisocial person? well, if this survey is any indication...
12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’? yeah--a lifetime ago. hafta say, he was one of THE best kissers though.
13. What about ‘R’? yeah, most recently
14. Can you drive a stick shift? you're talking about in a car right?
15. Do you care if people talk badly about you? Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. -- Sun-tzu, Chinese general & military strategist (~400 BC)
16. Are you going out of town soon? nah
17. When was the last time you cried? last night
18. Have you ever told a boy you loved them? mhmm, coupla times
19. If you could change your eye color, would you? sure, why not
20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for? there WAS
21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having. the weather--it matches my mood--gray
22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead? depends on the context
23. Are you dating the last person you talked to? not even close
24. What are you sitting on right now? besides my ass--a futon
25. Does anyone regularly tell you they love you? yes
26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? is this a rhetorical question?
27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? a friend
28. Do you get a lot of colds? used to
29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from? hanes-target
30. Does anyone hate you? hate? maybe a little, if he was being honest.
31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room? not anymore--trashday.
32. Do you like watching scary movies? i reckon i do.
33. Do you want your tongue pierced? uh, no.
34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? 1994
35. Did you have a dream last night? unfortunately
36. When was the last time you told a boy you loved them? two days ago
37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? given my current circumstances, prob'ly not.
38. Do you think someone has feelings for you? yes
39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? yeah
40. Did you have a good day yesterday? surprisingly, yes
41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship? barely
42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl? does it count if you'll be alone and just so happen to BE a girl?
43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? yeah and we see how well THAT worked out...
44. What’s the best part about school? that i had the balls to finish
45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook? :-D
46. Do you workout? it's been a few days
47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head? yup, it's sick i know...
48. Were you single over the last summer? nope
49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago? "not even close, pal." (bonus points if you can guess what movie that line is from.
50. What are you supposed to be doing right now? working, which i am kinda, sorta...
51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? ahhh, the life teenager. must be on a different time continuum.
52. Are you nice to everyone? at least initially, until they give me a reason NOT to be.
53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? yeah, hate when that shiznit sneaks up on you.
54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? 's been done.
55. Are you good at hiding your feelings? as i got older i began to give a sh*t about this less and less.
56. Do you think you like someone? what is this--HIGHschool? oh wait...
57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’? yeahhhhhh....like forever ago.
58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys? people
59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry? at MY age? along with a whole host of other sh*t too.
60. Do you hate anyone? boy DO i?!
61. How’s your heart? are you asking that cuz i'm old?
62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? how much time you got?
63. Have you ever cried over a guy? what women hasn't?
64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now? former supervisor
65. Are your toenails painted pink? i'm not a huge fan of nail polish
66. Will your next kiss be a mistake? very likely
67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct? i'm just gonna ignore this one...
68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public? i decline to state on the grounds that i may incriminate myself
69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with? a prospective grad student
70. How do you look right now?
71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around? i have several
72. Can you commit to one person? i have
73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? yeah
74. Have you ever felt replaced? yep and probably will again in the future.
75. Did you wake up cranky? yes
76. Are you a jealous person? hardly
77. Are relationships ever worth it? given my current circumstances, i'm not in a position to be objective. can we come back to this one in say, 6 months?
78. Anyone you’re giving up on? geez, i try not to look at in those terms.
79. Currently wanting to see anyone? kinda
80. Name something you have to do tomorrow? pack
81. Last person you cried in front of? the Pope
82. Is there someone you will never forget? i remember them all.
83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you? hmmm...define "protective". LOL
84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now? *crickets* this is a family show is it not?
85. Are you over your past? can you be more specific?
86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex? briefly
87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to? yes
88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? maybe but since i haven't seen them in 25 years so it's hard to say
89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in? uh, since we live together, i'm guessing they'll just use their key
90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? no but i have liked someone where my friends asked "why"
91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months? i don't imagine so
92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael? it IS quite a common name you know.
93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew? i think his name was matt. LOL
94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going? i think we covered this one already...
95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March? AND this one.
96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive? i think so.
97. Who do you have texts from? i'll never tell
98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? what COULD i say?
99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? does one year count?
100. Who’s in your profile picture with you? a "no whining" sticker
101. Ever kissed under fireworks? mhmmm
102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies? yep--it's either that or indigestion...
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