Friday, September 09, 2011
I grew up in Binghamton, NY. Many parts of the city and surrounding areas flooded Wednesday night into Thursday night. The water is beginning to recede but the news and pictures are heartbreaking. Those places, that town, those people (collectively) built me. They made me who I am. And now they are hurting and, from afar, I hurt too.
The hospital I was born in... flooded right up to the flood walls they put in after the last flood in 2006 (the only 2 big floods in my life time of memories).
The home I was raised in.... in a mandatory evacuation zone, although hopefully not flooded.
The library I had my first job in... flooded.
The street my HS/college boyfriend lived on when we were dating... flooded, really badly.
The mall I shopped in... flooded.
The restaurant where we had our rehearsal dinner... flooded.
The florist who did our wedding flowers... flooded.
The hotel I spent my wedding night in... flooded.
TMI Alert. The hotel our daughter was conceived in... flooded.
The restaurant we were going to celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary in... flooded.
The grocery store closest to my parents' home, their beautician's shop, my favorite pizza place, many places important to my parents who still live in the area (but who are up high and safe through it all).... flooded.
I know the people there are strong. Life isn't really easy there. Life there makes you strong. But, enough already, enough. Let my people go home. Let them start to recover. Give them a break :-(
Edited to add.....
1 more memory flooded: The hotel DH and I went to celebrate our first NYE together.
And, sadly, lives flooded too.... a family member had their basement (finished) and first floor flooded, higher than the kitchen counters :-( A friend's business was flooded. Several friends had flooding at their homes. Other that I know have had water in their unfinished basements, workplaces flooded, and lives otherwise interrupted. It's so very sad.
Wednesday, September 07, 2011
Yesterday I was under my calorie budget by hundreds of calories - about 500 IIRC. I used to wonder how ANYONE could have trouble eating enough. But then I have a day like yesterday where I had a smaller than usual breakfast for no real reason, my typical snack, forgot to eat lunch so my afternoon snack was hearty but not enough to make up for it, and then dinner was late and I wasn't hungry for a bedtime snack. And then... poof 500 calories unused.
And today hasn't been any better because I forgot lunch. Again. I think my post workout high-protein snack (shake or bar) is interfering with my appetite at lunch time. And if I don't eat lunch by 1:15 it will morph into my afternoon snack because I'm on the go midafternoon.
I partially make up for days like this on the weekend but I probably need to put a little more effort into eating more calories earlier in the day so I'm more naturally out of calories by the time dinner's over.
Monday, September 05, 2011
I dropped over 2 pounds in a day Thursday into Friday which put me under my goal weight for September (2 pounds lost) which makes this my first attempt at maintaining my weight.
So far, so good. I've been eating back all my exercise calories (give or take 200, I'm not going to eat if I'm full!). I've also been splurging with the holiday weekend (alcohol every day). My weight is back up a tad (which is OK!) but my BF% is down boosting my target weight back to 126-129. I *really* hope to maintain (hopefully gain) my lean body mass through this approach. This bodes well. This is the closest I have come to my target range (just under 4 pounds until I hit the top).
Now for the vain stuff (because, yes, I am in vain territory going after as low a BF% as I am)....
My back is sort of crazy right now. I can definitely tell that fat is coming off my back. My lower back definitely looks hard and my upper back has decent definition but doesn't look hard yet.
My abs are coming along. The fat is coming off so very slowly but it IS coming off. My belly button has seemed much too low and it's starting to creep upwards. (Weird.). I can feel the muscle in my lower abs and it doesn't take nearly as much digging around these days LOL! No six pack for me but there is a pronounced vertical line there.
My thigh fat is finally, finally beginning to vamoose. They still house most of my visible fat but I am starting to see some definition in the back (not just the front).
My butt is starting, ever so slowly, to lift and round. I have never, ever, ever, ever had a butt before. It's a baby butt but it's for real. It's the thing I am 3rd proudest of on this journey to fitness (the things that top it are finally getting weight off and getting fit without reinjuring my arm injury).
Now for the problem.....
My bras are getting too big... and it's not the cup. I went and tried the next cup size down and it was definitely too small. I'm in a 32C and it looks like I need a 30C but I looked for them in stores this weekend and didn't see such a thing. That seems a tad ridiculous. I'm NOT that thin. Surely there are many C-cup women as thin as I am. So what gives???? I don't just need new 32C bras. I bought one Friday and I already have to use first hook and can't make it any tighter and STILL it rides up in the back... which is so NOT what this 40+ mom who breastfed for almost 3 years between 2 kids needs!!!. I am perplexed.
Saturday, September 03, 2011
On 9/1 I set a goal of losing 2 pounds in September and of not dropping lower than that unless it came WITHOUT dropping lean body mass. So, what happens? I wake up on 9/2 over 2 pounds lighter. No idea why. Just mysteriously down multiple pounds in a day.
That means that September has now become my first month of maintaining my weight which, as I've mentioned many times, is scary stuff for me. I don't do well standing still. I like to work TOWARDS something.
So... we'll see how it goes. The first thing I'm focusing on is eating back all my exercise calories and eating all the calories loseit.com 'allows me'. I've NEVER eaten back all my calories. One, because I've always been afraid that my exercise calories were overestimated. Two, because my trainer told me that eating all my exercise calories back was counter productive so long as I was trying to lose weight. So.... I've got a HRM which means my exercise calories ARE correct AND I am NOT trying to lose weight which means my trainer's advice does not apply. VERY VERY nervous about working towards a BALANCED calorie budget but I AM going to give it a go next week. (I'll be under budget this week because I can't healthily eat an extra 1800 calories today and tomorrow... at least I don't think I can.)
This is scary stuff. I have ALWAYS been the kind of person who, fearful of running out, socks some away for a rainy day - money, stuff, calories, whatever. Now I need to live on the edge! (Obviously I spent many years living as if I could eat as much as I wanted all the time and not at all fearful of running out of calories. This is totally different!)
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