TANNERZ   20,076
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Slowly going insane..

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

I'm exhausted, exhausted by the entire situation. I love having my parents here but my brother is a whole different story. In the mornings is the only time I have to myself to get ready for work... I find him sitting at the table- he proceeds on telling me that he hasn't even went to bed yet; it's 7:30 in the morning.

I have to shower, I have to get dressed, dry my hair, straighten it and go. I don't have time to have a conversation.. yet alone watch you eat the fajitas I packed for my lunch.. so now I'm at work, without a lunch.. pretty much forced to buy my lunch because he decided that eating my fajitas would be a good idea... what a good guy!
Now my parents are leaving for the night to visit friends two hours away and leaving him here. I'm basically babysitting a 31 year old that can't take care of himself, who smokes every 10 minutes and talks every 20 and didn't bring any money what so ever. So of course my parents are paying for everything while he basically gets a free vacation. Part of me thinks the only reason he came was to have a place to stay for a week since he doesn't have anywhere else to go.

I'm just trying to get by this week without getting overly stressed out but that doesn't seem to be happening. I'm slowly unraveling at the seams... especially after this morning.

and better yet, even though one of my favourite pants are pretty much falling off due to the weight loss... I'm pissed off about that too because I didn't wear a belt so I'm pretty much flashing my ass crack to everyone that walks by me at work... or finding myself pulling them up every 5 minutes.

This day needs to end so I can curl up in bed for a few minutes before I'm forced to take my brother out around town to basically keep him entertained.
*flopsheadondesk* wake me up when this is all over.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BBEAGAN 12/26/2014 6:58PM

    ohhh, isn't family fun??

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GYPSYHEART 12/23/2014 12:03PM

    The following was shared by "Miss Viv" on Facebook. She is a friend I made through Sparkpeople several years ago. After reading it I thought of you and your situation.

Iyanla Vanzant:
"One of the greatest challenges in creating a joyful, peaceful and abundant life is taking responsibility for what you do and how you do it. As long as you can blame someone else, be angry with someone else, point the finger at someone else, you are not taking responsibility for your life."

Hope this inspires you in dealing with your brother and parents.

(BTW: dealing with your brother for a few days surely is not something that can cause you to be "slowly going insane". Now having him at your home for several months..... emoticon )

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HUGS2015 12/23/2014 11:32AM

    emoticon Holiday time can bring out the worst in people. We are forced to spend time with people that we normal don't get to see, or necessarily want to be with, for extended periods of time.
Look on the bright side, it is only a week. He's going to do what he does best, try to irritate you as only brothers can. Let it roll off and remember next week, he will go back to his lifestyle and you will get to continue on with your responsible, healthy lifestyle. emoticon emoticon emoticon
Here's to a fast moving week! emoticon

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GYPSYHEART 12/23/2014 11:25AM

    Whoa! Why do you put up with the shenanigans of a freeloader....and feel you must feed and entertain him too? It sounds like your parents are enablers to their son but do you have to be one too?

It may be time to stand up for yourself and set down some limits, guidelines, and rules for your home, not just with your brother but with your parents too. As long as you let others take advantage of you they will. Is this what you want?

Will your relationship change with your brother and parents by doing this? Absolutely!. Will they be upset with you? Most likely, but you will be a stronger person for it and in time will be thankful for having stood up for yourself.

emoticon emoticon

If you are unable to do this then... deal with it for the next few days til they are gone....til next time.

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They're here! Family for a week!

Monday, December 22, 2014

My weekend was fairly hectic, starting off by cleaning for a majority of it. My mother is a clean freak so I try to have it almost spotless by the time they come. My parents and brother got in at 8PM on Sunday and are probably staying until the following weekend.

I'm happy that they're all here but it does feel slightly cramped in our 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom house. Even to the point that my brothers bedroom is currently the living room (couch!) so he's sharing that with my bigger dog.

Which was cute because I found them cuddled up together when I left for work this morning.

I thought I would also share this picture I captured when I was on my way home from work on Friday. I've never seen a sunset so red before, it sort of freaked me out at first!

Also I figured I'd share the work we've done to the kitchen. We spent hours on Saturday finishing the backsplash and grouting nightmare, but finally it's completed (minus a few things we need to fix and do) but I seem to think it looks pretty good! Although some of the lines aren't neccessarily 'perfect'... but good enough for us.

I'm hoping everyone else had a pretty decent weekend. I weighed in at 203, so I'm almost under that 200 mark. I didn't weigh in this morning because my scale is my wii fit one and it's in the living room and I didn't really want to wake my brother up... so I won't end up weighing until the end of the week most likely.. which sort of sucks but I'll survive!

Maybe when I do weigh in I'll be closer to being under 200! one can hope ;) Lots of exercise and healthy eating ahead! I won't get out of control at the family dinners, no snacking and not more than 1 dessert! My mother-in-law promised to hit my hand if she sees me snacking haha! I told her I'd do the same for her. ;)

and of course a picture of me, but I never smile ;)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAZZII4 12/22/2014 12:09PM

    Enjoy the week, with your family. Your kitchen looks great. Good luck, getting under 200. You still look beautiful, even without the smile. Merry Christmas! emoticon

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Feeling like a whale...

Monday, December 15, 2014

I'm seriously getting to the point where I'm just plain tired of having a 'gut'. It feels like everytime I look down at it, it's there staring me straight in the face.

I guess there are perks to being fat, like when you drop your phone while you're on the toilet and it doesn't fall into the toilet, instead it gets stopped by your thunder thighs. I mean that is really the only benefit I can think of, but what else?

I know there are several reasons why I want to lose weight;
1) I want to be healthy for my future self
2) I'd like to finally appreciate the way that I look and be proud of my body
3) Heck, who doesn't want to look smokin' in a bikini? or lingerie for your man or woman ;)
4) I'm tired of being judged for my weight and what is considered 'acceptable'

Anyway, I can't really live my life this way and I'm sure many people can relate. I feel like I've worked so hard these past few weeks to see minimal results, but I guess that won't stop me from continuing on. I'm just hoping that progress starts kicking in again with something I at least notice... like pounds on the scale.

Anyway, busy week ahead, parents are due to arrive on Saturday. A lot of fixing the house and cleaning to be done, so that should keep me active the majority of the nights this week. However, my clean is never up to standards with my mom's version of clean... which is frustrating!

Anyway, hope everyone else has a decent week!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHRINKYDINKAMY 12/15/2014 4:37PM

    I don't honestly see where you have 50 pounds to lose... all I see is a beautiful girl. We weigh just about the same, but I think you are taller than I am. I think you look great. Don't lose focus... it'll come off!

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BRAINBENTT 12/15/2014 12:22PM

    Umm..I see a beautiful face.

Dont come at it from such a self loathing angle but more of a "I deserve better and am worth it".

Your reason #1 above is perfect.

Good luck with parents visit.

Relax and move forward, one day at a time, to that "future self" you envision !!


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JAZZII4 12/15/2014 10:55AM

    I definitely can relate, I was checking my gut out this morning. Not sexy, by far! Have a great week, enjoy the family! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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The progress

Friday, December 12, 2014

Even though I haven't lost too much weight for the past few weeks it feels like my waist is getting smaller. I don't really measure myself because I just never really felt like it. I just trust my eyes and when it looks like I'm getting smaller.. I generally am.
I guess I just hate putting so much work into losing weight, so I don't want to be measuring each part of my body on a monthly basis.

I feel good, I'm starting to feel as though I'm looking good. I mean, sure I have 50 pounds to go before I feel completely confident in the way I look... but I definitely appreciate the journey that I've been taking.

I love the friends I've made a long the way, I love that some of my friends tell me their weight loss was motivated by me... I've never felt that I've contributed much and now I do. I feel as though I've helped change lives.

I post my progress on Facebook for my friends to see, even though there was a list created some time ago that mentioned the top 10 things your facebook friends don't care about.
It had something like, pictures of food, baby pictures, weight loss progress, selfies, etc... seemed like I fell under each of those. But I mean that's what friends are there for.. to share parts of your life with.
Don't add me if you don't want to see what I'm up to! right?!

and OMG my hair is up at work! I never put my hair up hehe.

Anyway, that is all for today, if I don't post over the weekend, I hope everyone has a great one. :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAZZII4 12/14/2014 2:27PM

    You look great! Enjoy your weekend, also! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TANNERZ 12/12/2014 4:14PM

    That time of the month definitely makes you fluctuate! I hate it! So probably lol

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SHRINKYDINKAMY 12/12/2014 3:46PM

    My scale DID fluctuate up... but I'm not going to trip. I'm having a HORRIBLY hormonal week... maybe ovulating? I dunno but I've been a terrible grump. So I'm going to blame it on that! LOL

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BBEAGAN 12/12/2014 2:17PM

    Good for you! I do measure on occasion, and it is vaguely satisfying to see #s going down... but not a surprise b/c I can feel the changes too. But the blood pressure and heart rate are satisfying ones. I started out with below-normal BP anyway, but it has still improved noticeably. Which tells me changes are happening re health... I like that. And counting # of pushups I can do in 1 min, seeing the speed increase on the treadmill... those are good outcomes!

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PRINCESS1959 12/12/2014 11:47AM

    Just stay encouraged. It's so good to see progress.

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TANNERZ 12/12/2014 11:31AM

    Could be muscle you're gaining, that's what I'm thinking is going on with me ATM. I'm not freaking out over the scale until it starts going up! lol then I'll be all, "NO STOP YOU!"

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SHRINKYDINKAMY 12/12/2014 11:26AM

    You're doing great! I haven't lost much lately either... and last night the gym scale told me I had gained! I'm going to ignore the scale for a while and keep on focusing on my working out and eating right. We'll get there!


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I think I've kicked my sour candy addiction

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

I've read only good things about pomegranates and I'm totally addicted as of lately. I can pretty much call it my go-to comfort food... I've been finding myself eating two of these a day. Seems a bit excessive? but totally addicting!

I didn't know that eating them regularly can prevent some form of cancers, help with your heart, prevent diabetes, aid in weight management, etc!
I can honesty say that this is probably my favourite fruit to consume.

If you haven't tried it or really seen one I'll explain.

It's a red fruit that looks similiar to a fuji apple.
The inside consists of red seeds, and it's sort of hard to tell if you're going to have a good pomegranate until you open it. If it isn't perfect you'll have some brownish yellow seeds that look unappealing but will still pretty much taste the same as the rest.. but overall it won't be a very delicious one.

I recommend getting them from fresh produce markets and not huge commercial chain stores. I've always had bad ones from there.

How do you consume it? You can pick out the little seeds and eat them as is, I love them that way, you can also add them to smoothies and salads or if you have a juicer.. make some pomegranate juice! Plenty of antioxidants in these little things but they are so delicious!!

They've kind of helped me kick my sour candy addiction since they are both sour and sweet which is the perfect combination for me.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BBEAGAN 12/11/2014 6:13AM

    Wow - I can't imagine eating these daily! I think of them as messy, hardly worth the hassle... But I do have an aversion to messy foods. Even peeling oranges is a challenge! It's great you are 'addicted' to something so wonderfully healthy!

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BEAUTIFUL_REINA 12/10/2014 2:20PM

    I love pomegranates. Plus they are so fun to eat!

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ALTRIA_FATE 12/10/2014 2:16PM

    That's awesome! I don't really eat sour candy but I still feel like I need to try these sometime.

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