TAMARA6905   21,902
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TAMARA6905's Recent Blog Entries

Starting Over....Again!

Monday, April 16, 2012

It has been over a month long celebration for me, but I'm finally ready to get back to work. I had a perfect birthday, a fantastic anniversary, my BFF moved back from Washington, and I have really enjoyed getting to do new things with Reiko that we hadn't done before. Now that it's mid-April I'm ready to get back to work on my weight loss.

We went to the grocery store this weekend and I stocked up on lots of fruits, veggies, and healthy grains. I stayed in range today AND I got a workout in! I went over to my BFF's (Cyndi) to do Zumba on the Kinect. Half a song into it, we decided that we DID NOT like it. Maybe it was to much for us, maybe we should have done the ENTIRE tutorial, but we gave it up. So we did Just Dance instead and OMG it was so much fun. We were laughing the whole time, trying not to hit each other in the face, and stay on our feet. The music is fun and the moves aren't to hard that it's impossible to keep up with.

I made roasted asparagus, salmon cakes, and grilled shrimp for dinner. It was so good and pretty healthy! Now to keep this momentum going tomorrow! I hope to get in some strength training tomorrow and a walk if I'm lucky. All in all it was a good first day back. Now if every day can be like this!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GOLDENDOMER00 4/17/2012 9:11AM

    Yay! TaMara is back!

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TXLADY110 4/16/2012 10:53PM

    Great start.

Keep your spark


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MELITOD 4/16/2012 9:43PM

    Yay!! I love the shoes!! Can't wait to see you!

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POOKASLUAGH 4/16/2012 9:23PM

    Yay! Glad you're back TaMara! Just don't ever give up starting over when you leave off for awhile, k?

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MJ-SHE-BEAST 4/16/2012 9:18PM

    I've missed you. I've missed your shoes. I've missed your blogs. Did I mention I've missed you?

Welcome back, Sweet T!

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I'm Back!

Monday, March 12, 2012

Since graduating college in December I've been actively looking for a job. I haven't found much that has piqued my interest. This isn't at all what I had envisioned for my post-graduation life. I thought I would find some fantastic job that I loved and it would change my life. I had hoped against hope it wouldn't be 3 months later and I'd still be unemployed. Maybe I've been to picky. Maybe I should just take a job for the sake of having one. But I've had jobs that paid well, but that I hated. That I dreaded going to every day, that made me contemplate throwing myself down the stairs so I wouldn't have to go. That is a situation I never want to be in again. EVER!

I was not prepared for the depression that would come along with not being able to find a job. Depression is sneaky. It creeps up on you and slithers into the back of your mind. It becomes that little voice that drags you down, deeper and deeper into the depths of despair constantly telling you that you're not good enough, that you're sub-par, that you're worthless, etc. The nagging feeling at the back of my mind spread to my whole body. I didn't want to get out of bed, I didn't want to exercise, I didn't want to spark, I didn't want to do anything. What was the point?

If it had not been for my DW I would still be stuck in that black hole. But she so lovingly reminded me that this is an opportunity I will most likely never have again. That this is my opportunity to spend time working on my weight loss and working on my book. She encouraged me to take advantage of the freedom that will soon be gone once we have kids. But there is still that part of me that doesn't feel worthy, that doesn't feel like I'm contributing. How do I just sit at home all day, everyday and still feel productive? Yes, I cook and clean, but it's not like I'm taking care of kids. But again, DW reminded me that she wants me to be happy. She wants me to take care of me and that's what I'm going to do.

But i need to take advantage of this free time to get my self in shape where I don't have the stress and time constraint of a job. I'll find a job when the right one comes along and the time is right! I'm glad to be back though. I missed my Spark family! Good thing is I didn't experience any weight gain during my break!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WOLFKITTY 3/14/2012 12:27PM

    Congrats!

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SBEAR5 3/14/2012 12:15PM

    Yeah! TaMara's back! :) You're a stay at home mom without kids... BEST! haha

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BLVINBUTTERFLYS 3/13/2012 12:42PM

    emoticonVery nice! emoticonWelcome back we missed you!
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MINERVASPARKING 3/13/2012 9:56AM

    You have such a smart, supportive spouse! :D I'm glad you're back!

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GOLDENDOMER00 3/13/2012 9:14AM

    Welcome back, TaMara! I know how you feel. I've been on both ends of the spectrum. When I was looking for a job, I didn't feel like I was contributing, which I was used to. However, I did put a good amount of time into working out and tracking my food. It helped keep me sane while I was searching. I haven't found my "dream" job yet, but I'm getting closer with baby steps. I took a part-time job with the hopes of it becoming full-time. It has become full-time temporarily. In the meantime, I'm searching for a full-time position in case this one doesn't become full-time permanently. However, I'm still gaining valuable experience. Keep your options open, but enjoy your time to focus on yourself.

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BACKATITAMY 3/12/2012 10:29PM

  Glad your back Tamara :) Sorry that you have been down in the dumps but so glad your back. Take advantage of the time you have and let that guilt go. You are worthy of putting yourself first not only for yourself but for your DW and the future children you want to have. A healthy wifey and momma is so important. Once you have that responsibility of kids you are their world and the time you have now will seem like a dream then. Good luck to you Tamara! You got this :)



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POOKASLUAGH 3/12/2012 7:58PM

    I'm sorry to hear you've been suffering depression and such TaMara. I do understand the guilt, though. While I have kids, I've felt guilty for staying home to take care of them ever since they all started going to school full time. It feels like I ought to be out there contributing, especially since Jason does the cooking and at least half of the cleaning. All I do is write and take care of myself, and my writing doesn't produce anything of monetary value, you know? It's good that our respective spouses are so supportive, and I'm glad you're going to take this opportunity to work on those things that are so important, even if they don't have immediate monetary value. I hope we'll see you out at the walks in the upcoming weeks - we miss you there!

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My Own Worst Enemy

Saturday, January 28, 2012

So this morning was our Saturday morning walk meet-up. If you're in the San Antonio area, regardless of if your on the San Antonio team or not, you should come join us at McAllister Park on Saturday mornings at 9 am. Whether you walk, run, jog, or a combination of those, everyone is welcome. Bring the kids, bring the fur-babies, bring a friend, or just bring yourself!

But that's not what this blog is about. It's about how we tend to hold ourselves back from success for different reasons. Mine has always been fear! Not a fear a failure, but a fear of what others are going to think of me. Today during our walk, my faithful heart monitor let me know that my heart rate was to low. I could either pick up my walking pace or I could jog. Me jog? That's like an oxymoron or a double negative. Me and jog just don't belong in the same sentence. But with the trail fairly empty and my friends there to support me, I went for it. And I did it! I jogged today....for the first time in years. It felt great to realize that I could do it and also sad to realize that I could have been doing it all along.

I have always been my own worst enemy. My fear of how others will perceive me has always held me back from doing things that I wanted to do. Thanks to an overactive imagination I have visions of people watching me run saying "Look at the fat girl try to run". Or thoughts of people watching me and laughing. Or driving by and honking or throwing things at me. Yes I know that all sounds absurd and it probably is, but it's always been hard, no impossible, to turn those thoughts off. Until today. When I got home I talked to one of the most encouraging and motivating people that I know. My fellow leader and dear friend MJ (MJ-SHE-BEAST). She gave me the courage to get out there and do it. And I did.

I got out there and went for another walk/jog. And you know what? Nothing horrible happened. Not only did nothing happen, but I actually felt proud of myself for being out there doing something good. No one laughed at me, that I know of. No one honked or stared as they drove by. No one yelled anything negative to me. Now that I've knocked the door down that was keeping me trapped, a whole new world has been opened to me. This is great weather to be outside, walking or jogging, and I'm going to try to do it more often. I want to start walking with some timed jogging intervals until I get to a point where I jog the whole way through.

Don't ever let yourself tell you that you can't do something. Don't be your own worst enemy. If I can push that fear aside, so can you. Now I'm not saying that fear isn't still there, but it's less than it was before. And each time I go out there an jog, it's going to get smaller and smaller. Step outside your comfort zone and do something you've always wanted to do, but told yourself you couldn't. trust me, it feels great!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SIGMA1208 2/4/2012 12:56PM

    loving it....

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KORTANA1980 2/3/2012 2:08AM

    Hi Tamara.. lol I have the same fears as you do (or did), and it really hinders me going outside. I am feeling the anxiety of the bike ride I plan to have this Sunday with my family for fear of me being so huge on a tiny bicycle seat. And McAllister Park is where I actually go to do my walking! But unfortunately, Saturdays I am stuck at home all day otherwise I might join you guys. If the team does anything on Sunday's or Monday's, I'm there (maybe-still the fear thing). But I would like to be. Thanks for reading and posting comments on my blog!
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BACKATITAMY 1/31/2012 4:24PM

  Wow Tamara, so proud of you. Thank you for blogging about this. It's made me think to myself about what have I wanted to do that I have been to afraid to do because of what I think people might think. Honestly, there's alot so I'm going to sit down and list them and find something that I can do infront of other's that won't leave me running in embarassment. :) Your doing great!


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MCBRIDE4205 1/30/2012 12:40PM

    Another great blog! Yes, sometimes we hold ourselves back and miss out on so much worrying about other people and their perception of us. Great job for you being able to make a break through and jog! Woohoo!

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RINA2002 1/28/2012 5:18PM

  That is the same fear that kept me from going outside for a walk, much less join a gym all these years. But as you said, once you take one step toward overcoming the fear, the next step becomes easier.

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MJ-SHE-BEAST 1/28/2012 4:40PM

    emoticon so, so, so proud of you! There is never a reason good enough to hold yourself back from building a better you. Embarrassment should truly be reserved for making an abysmally horrible and dishonorable decision, not for getting out and doing something wonderful! I just love you so and can't stop smiling when I think of you facing that fear and just going for it!

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POOKASLUAGH 1/28/2012 3:59PM

    I completely know where you're coming from!!! I used to do all my running indoors because I was so scared about what people would think about me. I didn't start running outdoors until I was almost down to 215 lbs, and I know I held myself back so much because of that. Good for you for getting out there, and I'll tell you, from the jogging I saw, you didn't look silly or stupid or jiggly or any of the other things you might be afraid of at all. You looked great!

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I hate burpees

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

I HATE burpees. I might hate them more than I hate mountain climbers. But I found myself doing them today, multiple times. Yep, with all my fat jiggling, rolls smacking together, sweat dripping, and heavy panting, I did them. I got all of my 200+ pounds down in plank position and then back up with a slight jump. Was I doing it as fast as she was? Nope! But was I doing it? Hell yeah I was! And I'm going to keep doing it until I can do it better, faster, and not stop for breaks!

If you'd like to torture yourself in the same fashion, here's info on the videos I did today. I'll put links at the end so you can check them out. We can hate burpees and mountain climbers together! I found them on YouTube and it's the POP series. She does cardio, pilates, abs, etc. They're pretty short videos, but you can repeat them or do like I did and watch them as a series. I did POP Pilates: BodyPOP HIIT Bodyweight Workout, POP Cardio: Heart Throbber, and POP Cardio: Food Baby HIIT Workout today. Food baby you ask? I wondered the same thing. It's that overly stuffed feeling you get after overeating....when you go to a buffet, on Thanksgiving, etc.

The host, Cassey, might be a little to perky for some, but she's motivating! She's not yelling at you to do it, but encouraging.
Bodyweight Workout www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPi6ZkrGCv8
Heart Throbber www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-wEz5XZwgY
Food Baby www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSIgraWAisQ

If I can do this, you can do it to. We all have our reasons for wanting to get healthy. Just keep reminding yourself of that reason every time you think "I don't wanna!" Remind yourself every time life gets in the way, because it will inevitably! No one can do it for you, you have to do it for yourself. So just DO IT!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPARKYWATSON 1/27/2012 2:41PM

    I think burpees are properly named for someone in shape...for the rest of us I think barfees is more appropriate!

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MJ-SHE-BEAST 1/27/2012 9:09AM

    Someone posted a video of them doing burpees a few months back. She was in pretty good shape and they looked hard even for her. I didn't bother to try. Soooooo... now my dear inspiring friend is posting about burpees. Since I preach not saying can't, you just got me to do one. It looked as horrible as it felt, I am sure. Geeez who came up with this move? But I will do one again. Someday. LOL

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CHRISKENANDKIDS 1/26/2012 7:41PM

    I hate burpees too! And Mountain Climbers. And PUSHUPS. Hate them with a passion. But I still do them too and they get easier as I go. :) Congrats on a great day!

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ASUPERCOOLCHICK 1/26/2012 2:59PM

    Burpees oh how I love to hate you =) I did some the day before yesterday and O.U.C.H lol but its one of the best things to do.

We will get better if we keep it up then we can loathe them while we're wearing them out with our skinny selves lol.

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BACKATITAMY 1/26/2012 10:27AM

  Way to go Tamara! I tried to do those on the JM Shred dvd and couldn't so I just did push ups instead. Good for you for being able to get down and do it. Someday I will.

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GINCHIFER 1/26/2012 7:30AM

    Great job! I hate burpees too, but they are very effective, so do them we must. Thanks for the links, they look like a great option for when I don't make it to the dojo (martial arts is where I usually get this type of training in).
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ADVENTURESEEKER 1/25/2012 10:18PM

    woot woot! Burpees are awfully good, aren't they. lol My bootcamp instructor kills us with them and other high intensity cardio intervals. I'll have to check out those videos when I'm looking for a good at-home workout.

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GETSTRONGRRR 1/25/2012 9:37PM

    Great attitude and great perseverance! Way to go!

Look up Nike Training Club for iPhone or Android....there are some pretty cool workouts in there...with burpees and more!

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FALLINTOFLIGHT 1/25/2012 8:59PM

    Greats share! &&Good for you!!! Your right, you'll get faster and stronger... someday with less jiggle too! I've been there, I know what you are referring to :]

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TXLADY110 1/25/2012 8:07PM

    Thank you for sharing your links...
I have been hitting the previous one with the cute guy instructor... :-)


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SEXYMAMA2FIVE 1/25/2012 7:32PM

  I have never tried a burbee because I do not want to feel all my fat jiggle. You have inspired me to try them.

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GOALS

Monday, January 23, 2012

It's almost February, so I am quickly approaching my first goal of the year. I want to weigh 254 by February 1st. I'm currently 258, my next weigh in is tomorrow, so can I do it? I don't know! When I first set that goal I knew it was just the tiniest bit out of reach, but I also knew that with a little hard work and dedication I could probably do it. I've been doing this long enough to know that the scale is not always the best measurement of success and there are all sorts of factors that go into seeing a smaller number on the scale. So in preparation for my weigh in tomorrow, I'm drinking boat loads of water and keeping my sodium intake to a bare minimum. I plan on getting in a good exercise, more cardio and less strength training, this afternoon when I get home.

Since what you eat is 90% of losing weight, I wanted to share this spark article I read. It's got some helpful hints on how to boost your metabolism. I already practice a lot of what they talk about, but it's good to know that I'm doing the right thing. And I truly believe these tips are a large part of my success so far this year! If you're interested, here's a link to the article: www.sparkpeople.com/resource/fitness
_articles.asp?id=676


Also with the end of January comes the time when the majortiy of people give up on their New Year's Resolutions! Are you going to give up and throw in the towel? Are you down for the count? Or are you a fighter? Are you going to come out swinging? I will not be defeated. I will not give in because it's easier. I will be successful and I will reach my goal weight this year! I can do it and you can to! We can do it together! Who's with me?

If you think you might be ready to give up, sit down and assess yours goals? Were they SMART goals, meaning: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely? If your goals are vague ("I'm going to eat better") or unrealistic ("I'm going to lose 10 lbs in two weeks") you'll never reach them. Why set yourself up for failure? Reasses your goals ("I'm going to eat 3-5 servings of fruits and veggies daily" or "I'm going to lose 1-2 lbs a week") Make sure your goals are SMART and make sure you don't overwhelm yourself with to many goals at once.

It wouldn't be called "WORK" if it was easy!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MCBRIDE4205 1/30/2012 12:34PM

    This was so inspiring to read today and thanks for posting the article. Great blog! emoticon

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HOLLIEWALLY 1/24/2012 11:07AM

    Fantastic Blog, girl!!!!!!!

And you got this! You will definitely reach that Feb 1st goal!

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MINERVASPARKING 1/24/2012 10:35AM

    Great post and article! Thanks for sharing!
You're well on your way to reaching your goals!!! emoticon

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MJ-SHE-BEAST 1/23/2012 7:05PM

    I really liked that article. And I love the SMART acronym! This is OUR year, TaMara. We got this, beautiful one!

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POOKASLUAGH 1/23/2012 3:33PM

    I love that article. I know that my insomnia is what's slowing me down right now. It started in mid-October, and since it started,I've only had two 10-day periods where I slept well, and they were the only two periods in which I lost weight. I used to lose 4-5 lbs a month, and since the insomnia started, I'm lucky to lose 2!

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AGENTMNA 1/23/2012 2:22PM

    Great Blog!!! emoticon

---Reese

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