TAMARA6905   21,902
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And the fat lady sang her heart out!

Friday, December 16, 2011

Graduation was last night. My feet still hurt from standing in heels for an hour, but fashion is pain right ladies??

It doesn't seem real, prob won't until I get my diploma in the mail!

I've been in school sooo long, it's been my life for years, it's ALMOST sad to see it come to an end.

Now I can return to the real world!

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POSITIVE_ONE 12/16/2011 9:22PM

    Way to go Tamara. I am so in awe of you for making it through school. Quite a journey you took and I am so proud of you for making it to the end.

Great job!!

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POOKASLUAGH 12/16/2011 12:24PM

    Congrats so much TaMara!!

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TXLADY110 12/16/2011 11:02AM

w you will have extra time to work on the home and exercise

Enjoy your break before the new year.

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SUPERMOUSE35 12/16/2011 10:53AM

    Congratulations!! That's so great. :D

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LADYJ6942 12/16/2011 10:36AM


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MJ-SHE-BEAST 12/16/2011 10:35AM

    No way I could be prouder of you. You keep this proud and accomplished feeling and let it carry you forward. You've earned the right to crow long and loud! Congratulations!

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BACKATITAMY 12/16/2011 10:31AM

  Congratulations Tamara. Woohoo!!! You Go Girl :)

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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The End is Near

Thursday, December 08, 2011

These last few weeks of school are killing me. I have a final on Saturday @ 5:30pm which I know I'll ace, but it's my final project that is due next week that I'm worried about! It's a team project and I HATE group work. Especially since I'm stuck with a lazy group that never comes to class!! I had to send out a nasty email to ensure that everyone showed up yesterday and it worked, but I swear one of my group members was either drunk or high! Really?!?! And I'm not exaggerating y'all. He said he was tired and some other gibberish about his gf's grandmother being sick, but I didn't buy it! I know that sounds harsh, but it's my graduation that's on the line so sorry if you don't get any sympathy from me. I just keep reminding myself, this time next week I'll be preparing for graduation....getting ready to walk the stage!

The ceiling in the apartment has leaked for the umpteenth time! They can't seem to fix the upstairs leak for some reason. I think the problem is that it's leaking from two different places....but I'm not a contractor. Anyway, they came in and sprayed some nasty chemicals for mold and brought in an industrial dryer for the carpet, but they just painted over the sheet rock. They didn't replace it and that doesn't make any sense to me. So it looks like we'll be moving again in March when our lease is up! Ugh!! They've been coming in and out which has interrupted my workout schedule, but I should be able to get in some exercise today, tomorrow, and Saturday!! Which will be a huge improvement from last week.

My internship at the Foundation is going well. They suggested I make a proposal to the president for a permanent position. A proposal? Why can't it just be like a normal job and you just offer me a position?!?! So I've been trying to figure out what to say, what to suggest my schedule and salary should be, etc. It's just weird, I've never been in this situation before. I don't want to ask for to little and not get paid what I'm worth, but I don't want to ask for to much and they say no. I'll figure it out and everything will fall into place. Just need to focus on school before I can think about anything else because getting a job won't matter if I don't graduate.

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TXLADY110 12/9/2011 9:37AM

    Oh those horrid group projects.... I hope you start checking into the apartment complex you want to move into now so that you pick a great one.

Awesome job on getting in the workouts around the construction mess. Glad your internship is doing so good. I hope they choose to hire you after all. It is better to ask high on the salary then negotiate down. Use Salaries.com for help on pay scales.
Don't for get to bargain in retirement and vacations...

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POOKASLUAGH 12/8/2011 4:15PM

    I hate group projects too. They drive me nuts and you known we're both the sort of people to just cover for everyone else's slack. Ugh. but you're almost there! Light at the end of the tunnel! You'll make it.

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BACKATITAMY 12/8/2011 3:43PM

  Good for you for being forceful with those slackers. You need to be a Queen B every now and then sometimes to get things done right. Sorry to hear about the apartment troubles but March isn't to far away. Good luck with finals. Woohoo your almost there.

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And the week is off to a great start!

Monday, November 28, 2011

As most of you know I've pretty much been on hiatus for about a month. With two internships and graduation on the horizon, I had to put Spark on the back burner. Thursday is my last day at FOX and I graduate on the 15th, so that leaves me interning for the Foundation 3 days/week. So that means I can finally get back to focusing on my goals!!

I signed up for the last leg of the EPIC challenge to ensure that I ended the year on the right foot, ready to keep that momentum going into 2012. My original plan was to ease myself back into exercise and start off working out 3-4 days a week (Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and maybe Saturday), but with Reiko working late and the mantra "There's no time like the present" ringing in my head, I decided to do a quick 15-min work out. Well, those 15 minutes turned into 30 and I feel great after burning 500 calories!!

I've tracked my food for yesterday and today, so I feel really confident about how this week and the rest of the year are going to go!! I plan on working out tomorrow doing high intensity interval training since today I just did cardio. I really want to loose at least 5 lbs by the end of the year! I know that I can do it with the support of my Spark family.

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BACKATITAMY 11/30/2011 1:23PM

  Glad to hear you so motivated. I'm sure those 5lbs will melt off by the new year :)

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FALLINTOFLIGHT 11/29/2011 8:45PM

    wonderful and wooohoooo, your additude is taking on a transformation just at the thought of your schedule doing the same! Imagine the leaps and bounds to come, simply woohoo!

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ELEXEY 11/29/2011 3:00PM

    You ROCK!!! But you know that, I'm just reinterating. I am so glad to see you back, and I can't believe you're graduating in just over a couple weeks, how cool is that?!? I'm stoked for you!

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TXLADY110 11/29/2011 2:33PM

Great start, and yup that was an addition.
You are off to a great finish for 2011. emoticon


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POSITIVE_ONE 11/29/2011 7:54AM

    FANTASTIC!!! I love it!!! TaMara is back and focused. I LOVE IT!!!!

The team missed you.

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MJ-SHE-BEAST 11/28/2011 10:47PM

    Each time I see your beautiful face on here I smile.
You've been missed...can you tell?

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MELITOD 11/28/2011 10:07PM

    yeah and welcome back!!

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SBEAR5 11/28/2011 9:22PM

    Sounds like a great start to the week! Looking forward to ending the year EPICly with ya!

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POOKASLUAGH 11/28/2011 9:08PM

    Woohoo!! Definitely off to a great start, and it'll only get better as those other obligations peel away!

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Down with the sickness

Sunday, November 13, 2011

I guess there has been a bug going around or some crud and I managed to get it. I'm normally one of those people who don't get sick, but whatever I got took me down hard! I started feeling bad around Wednesday night and it just kept getting progressively worse. It started with a shore throat that became so swollen I almost couldn't swallow. My lymph nodes were also so swollen. Between those and the throat, my whole neck became immobile. It was the weirdest, most painful thing.

Luckily, I got some super strong antibiotics and am finally starting to feel normal again. Just in time for Monday! Ugh!! I did weight myself this morning and wouldn't you know I lost a pound? I know that's not the way to do it, but I'll take what I can get haha!! I wasn't not eating on purpose or anything, but when it's excruciating to swallow water, it's easier to just not eat anything.

Had enough energy to go to the grocery store, so we're all stocked up with yummy, healthy goodness for the next couple weeks! I hope to get back on track with working out this week! I really need to get back in the swing of things. Even if it's only a couple days a week. I don't wanna push it after being so sick, but I gotta do a little bit. I'm still really weak and low on energy, but making consistent progress!

I hope everyone had a great weekend and congrats to all my marathoners!!!

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ELEXEY 11/15/2011 11:45AM

    I'm glad that you're feeling better and were able to get out and about. Being sick sucks!

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MJ-SHE-BEAST 11/14/2011 2:09PM

    Yay! You are up and moving around! I'm glad you made it to the store, now Reiko won't starve, LOL!

I'm truly happy you are starting to feel more human again. Take it slow but push a little at the same time, does that make sense? You know what your body can and cannot do right now, so use that knowledge to make your life better. Every journey begins with that first step. I have tons of faith in you, TaMara. Always.

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POOKASLUAGH 11/14/2011 9:48AM

    I'm glad the sickness is starting to go away! There definitely must be something in the air around here. I've had a mildly sore throat for the last five days that never seems to disappear. It's not bad enough to say I'm actually sick, but it's rather irritating and I keep hoping it'll either disappear or turn into something else, rather than just stay this annoying nagging! haha. And I've notived a lot of people on the SA boards talking about being sick. Maybe it's the fact that it's eighty-freakin-five degrees here in mid November. Ugh.

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BACKATITAMY 11/14/2011 9:34AM

  Glad that your feeling better Tamara. I'm doing ok this morning. It's not so much of a "sick" thing with me as it is more of a UTI thing. Sucks to be a girl sometimes. Have a great Monday.

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Tuesday, November 08, 2011

Yesterday was a very eye opening day for me. I read Katshia's blog, which you can find here: www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo

It inspired me because I am very protective of my weight. Protective as in I don't tell anyone because they're always shocked that the number is so high. I guess you could say I'm lucky in the sense that I carry my weight well. I'm big all over, but still curvy so it's deceiving. She also talked about her BMI which when calculated mathematically was much higher than the more accurate body scan method. Her instructor told her that she had "heavier" bones. I had never thought about bone density having an affect on your weight, but it makes sense.

When I first started Spark I was 276. I am now 259. For the longest time that 17 lb loss never sounded like much to me. It seemed like such a small number in comparison to how much more I needed to lose. My goal weight was 160 and all I could think was WOW I still need to lose at least 99 lbs. 99 lbs?!?! That's another person, given a small person, but still. It was overwhelming and disheartening and discouraging.

Me and a couple of the other leaders were talking on Skype and here is a snippet of our conversation:

MaryJane Harrison: you are a big built girl with natural padding so it is going to account for a lot of poundage even if you are where you should be.

Lillie: T-- you and I are really similar.... I look at you and can SEE the wide bone structure... and see that you have thick bones.... they say, "there is no such thing as big bones" but seriously.. if you look at your frame.. and my frame... we are WIDER built. Huge ribcages, wipe hips, wide shoulders.

Something about that conversation, in conjunction with having read Katshia's blog, hit home with me. As I stated earlier that 17 lb loss didn't sound like a lot, but it looked like a lot. I really saw a difference in how I looked and most of my shirts are too big for me now and my pants are all super lose. So it got me thinking that maybe I have an unrealistic goal for myself. If I do have a larger body frame, larger bone structure, and/or "heavier" bones, it may be physically impossible for me to get down to 160. I am a sturdy person. I'm on the tall side for a woman and like Lillie said, I have a visibly wider bone structure. I'm just not built like a petite woman.

Lillie encouraged me to go check out mybodygallery.com. If you've never heard of it, you should go take a look. Basically you put in your height, the weight you'd like to be, and your body shape (hourglass, pear, etc) and you get images of REAL women who fit that description. You get a really good idea of what your body would look like. So I put in my height (5'7), put in a weight of 190 (I want to at least be under 200), and I have an hourglass shape. This brought up images of women ranging from size 12-16. This is exactly the range that I want to be in! Now of course this is not an exact science, but it is very helpful and gives you a more realistic opinion of what your aiming for.

This entire experience has caused me to completely rethink my weight loss goals. I need to stop focusing on the number on the scale and more on how I look and feel. I do need to have some sort of numerical goal, so I'm going to now shoot for a goal weight of 190-200. So that means I need to aim for losing another 64-74 lbs. When i reach that goal, I'll decide then if I think I want to lose more. My decision will be based on health, as well as looks. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel like I have an attainable goal that isn't out of my reach.

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    You're doing great! Perspective is so important! :D Thank you for the website, I checked it out, and it IS refreshing and amazing!!! Wow!

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POSITIVE_ONE 11/9/2011 8:38AM

    Hey TaMara!! Loved the blog and the 'revelation' that you had. It is great to see a number go down but what is more important is how we feel about ourselves - how we look, how our clothes fit, how much energy we have...that is the key.

Forget the scale. You got this!! Love the attitude.

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ELEXEY 11/8/2011 10:20PM

    When Lillie told us about mybodygallery, it was really eye opening for me. The women were real, not those pre-pubescent girls Amanda talked about. I had forgotten all about it until you mentioned it here. I need to go back and look at that site again. Thank you for reminding me.

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    Good for you, Tamara! It takes bravery to share and you have proven to be a brave woman! It is freeing, isn't it?

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BACKATITAMY 11/8/2011 4:25PM

  So happy that you found some good news today. I completely forgot about that website, i'm going to go check it out after this. That new goal doesn't seem nearly so daunting now i'm sure. P.S. I love those cherry pumps you have as your background pic.


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MJ-SHE-BEAST 11/8/2011 3:54PM

    So glad you got some fresh and happier news for you perspective on things!

Lillie introduced a lot of us to mybodygallery.com a while back and it amazed me that 3 different women of the same basic height and weight could look so different in their body shapes and bone structures. I was shocked that 120 could look heavy on one 4'11 woman but look almost thin on another! It's all in the genes and body composition.

This was a happy blog!

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KATSHIA 11/8/2011 3:36PM

    Aw glad you had to courage to post your weight on here and talk about this :) I think you have a very natuarly curvy body like I do, the hips and height and what not. Not that its a bad thing, we just have to recognize that we would probably die before we we're ever 110lbs when that would be a good weight for someone else. I actually changed my goal here recently as well, my dream goal was always 115lbs, and my doctors actually told me that would be near deadly for someone with my bone structure and such. He said 160-200 would be ideal. I found this shocking as who would consider 200lbs to be a healthy weight? But it really makes sense as I'm loosing weight, I see how my weight is spread all through out my body evenly and think the doctor would be right, I would probably look fantastic at 200lbs. I'm glad you recognized your body isnt the same as the next persons, and that your goal may be way different. Looking forward to out workout on Thursday!

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POOKASLUAGH 11/8/2011 12:47PM

    About 4-5 years ago, I had a very similar revelation. I'm not quite as tall as you, but I'm definitely built wide - wide ribs, wide shoulders, wide hips. I have thick tendons and thick bones - using the wrist and elbow as measurement points. I had spent years wanting to get back to my high school and college weight of 125 lbs, and then I took a test that calculated your body frame size and gave you a BMI range based on that, not just your height. As it turned out, for me, a healthy weight range was 140-155. I was struggling to lose a lot of weight when I was in the 150s, thinking I need to lose 25 or more pounds, when really, that would have put me underweight for my size. Now, knowing this for a long time, I can look at myself and realize that 155 is really slender for me, and that those pictures of me at 125 make me look like I'm starving to death. I just never realized it, because I was always standing right next to a sister who is built like a bird - three inches shorter than me and naturally weighs around 100 lbs. It's all perspective, and you're right - if you have a higher body build, you need your weight goal to be higher. And also, despite the models out there now who look more like starving pre-pubescent girls, I prefer curves on women, the size 8-14 range. It's sexier and prettier and healthier-looking! I look to the pinups of the 40s and 50s to be my role model, rather than the models of today! :D

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