Monday, October 28, 2013
Hello Spark Friends!
I’ve not written in a while and for good reason…I have been SO busy!
There has been lots of changes in my little world. Starting off with G has moved to Ohio and is now living with Mark and I. For those just tuning in I have mention G in previous blogs. I consider G family. My Dad died in March of this year and when he died I lost all family. Everything. Lost. My step family stole all my inheritance (as if I cared about such- all I cared about were my dad’s wishes!) and ousted me from the family. Thus, I realized with my dad’s death I am an orphan which was a tough pill to swallow. The only family I have is Mark and the not even handful of friends I have. So, I drew my friends closer. G of course being one of those friends.
I knew from the get go G was a really great friend but when my dad died he really stepped up to help me with the process of my dad’s passing and with the aftermath of grief. (Which I am still dealing with!) It was nice to be able to confide in someone who wasn’t right in the thick of it like Mark was. Plus, Mark was close to my dad so he was pretty shook by the whole experience. I found it so hard to cry in front of Mark because he would start getting upset as well. I felt like my grief was stirring up his own so I leaned on G and Cheryl for a lot of support while trying to offer support to Mark. It was hard times, hard times, but we are all getting through it.
Mark has been getting sick a lot this year (especially lately!) complete with ER visits and stints in the hospital to being carted away from work in an ambulance once. It has been quite stressful especially in the same year I saw my own father on life support and having to make the decision to take him off it. It’s been so hard seeing Mark go through all he is going through. He is angry and frustrated at his body because of that he often takes it out on me verbally due to his inability to express himself properly. For which I understand, smile, and support him. (Though I am now to the point I call him on it!)
G of course has been there through all of this complete with moving from Texas to here in Ohio. He lives with Mark and I now! He helps me take care of Mark and contributes to the house financially which is a huge help since Mark has been missing a lot of work and my little small business could never pay all the house expenses.
During all this G has been trying to keep me focused on my weight loss goals. Several times these past few weeks we did an 8 plus mile hike! I didn’t even realize it or even feel tired because I was with such great company! Despite the hikes, challenging each other on the Wii Fit, and unpacking his stuff I am keeping steady at a 23lb weight loss. Sometimes I swing up a few pounds here and there but they drop. I just need to get over that hump and get back on track towards a loss.
I went to my doctor a few weeks ago and he seemed pretty happy about it. According to the skewed scales there (which my doctor admitted they weigh 10lbs heavier! Wtf?!) I lost 5 pounds since I saw him which was three months ago. I don’t have to see him for another 5.5 months so I am hoping to shock and wow him with a significant yet realistic loss!
I need to get focused! I know G is on board because he wants to lose a few pounds himself. I am finding it great to have a work out partner but not so much when G goes on his candy and cheezit benders because I am stupid enough to be like “duh, ok I will have some!” lolz That stops! Moderation is fine…benders not so much!
I hope all of you are well!
Hiking with G:
Acorns I found for my alter!
Squishie kitteh face! That's I.C. G's kitteh! He lubs meh!
Our punkins we carved! Hmmmm I wonder which one is mine?! lolz
Monday, August 26, 2013
Long time no spark! I know I have been MIA for a few. For that I do apologize. I do miss all of you and cannot wait to get caught up on blog posts and the what nots. I really do hope all of you are well!
My summer has been a little bit of a rollercoaster! So much good and a little bad.
As most of you know my dad died in spring so I am still dealing with that grief. Add to it that my step family has been utterly nasty and it has not been fun! With the loss of my dad I had to handle loss of family and loss of my inheritance including my dollhouse which my dad built by hand. I had plans for that dollhouse too! I was going to give it a fresh coat of paint and re-use it as a bookshelf. In that fixing it up I was hoping to be able to find some sort of “redemption” from my grief…or maybe just to feel closer to my dad. Turns out when I arranged to get it long story short it got trashed- DESPITE my step mom insisting I have it. She was even going to bring it to me and when I hadn’t heard from her in a few weeks I called to find her sons trashed it. Yes, I was devastated and heartbroken. Of all the things my dad left me (the car, an insurance policy worth a hefty sum which mind you I have yet to see either etc.) that is all I wanted. I could care less about the money or car or anything else! So, that was all very hard to deal with. Add to that every time the step family would get together for a family outing without so much as an invite to me my step sister made sure in her nasty little way to tag me on facebook so it would always be brought to my attention. Nice huh? So, that was an ouch too.
I am over it though it took me a few months to work those feelings out. In that time my weight yo-yoed according to if I had an appetite or not or how much sleeping I was doing etc. Luckily I didn’t lose too much progress!
In all that time a friend I was a very close acquaintance with surprised me and really stepped up. G supported me through when my dad was on life support, listened to me sobbing when he passed, pushed me through the depression and gave me a reason to get out of bed, get dressed and face the day. Thus this cherished friend shocked and amazed me last week when I got a model of a wooden dollhouse in the mail. G knew about my original dollhouse being trashed. He also knew how hard it was and still is on me. He hoped that I could have the “redemption” I so desperately needed through building this treasured piece. He knew it’s not exactly the same but it was something. I was beside myself. I couldn’t believe someone could be so thoughtful and kind. I so much look forward to having my moment with my memories of Dooie (my dad) as I build it. It will be bitter sweet!
In that time G and I have grown very close. We text and call every day, skype every evening, and generally always stay in contact throughout the day. He cares. He truly cares. He has become my family- just like Mark!
When he came to visit two weeks ago we went on walks or hikes every day. I told him I wanted to be able to focus again on my weight loss so he has been super supportive and rooting me on. Even Mark has gotten into the mix. He goes on my morning walks with me and even tried Zumba! We had a blast and really I needed the laugh of watching a 6’2’’ man shaking his money maker like he knew what he was doing! Lolz
All and all despite some waves the summer has been great. G is coming back in town tomorrow so Mark and I are looking forward to his visit!
I hope everyone is well!
And now pics...
One of my fav shirts
Bang Poof! :D
My hello kitty vans and G's awesonesses. "Then the conversation stopped and I looked down at my feet, I was next to you and you were right there next to me." ~ weezer
G and I
No makeup and messie hair but all smiles!
Mark, me and the hippos name is Lavender Memes. lolz
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Father’s Day was brutal, holy crap! I tried my best to ignore it but days leading up I got really depressed and then that whole day I fought back tears. I think next year (and holidays a head) I am going to do something more constructive with my time.
Needless to say all that grieving and time wasting (in my book) has caused me to gain back 5lbs. Having Mark home recovering from his surgery isn’t helping because he is lurking in the background and cutting into my schedules / food planning. He keeps experimenting with his smoking meats. I only sample but on days he does smoke that is usually dinner so I only eat the veggies we have with it. Still, no excuse. We are going for walks after dinner with the doggies so he is on bored with that.
Marks surgery went well and he is recovering quickly. He will be off for another two weeks. You have to understand I am used to being alone- a lot- because he works a lot and I work from home. So, now he is here all up in my business 24/7 and as much as I loved it at first my eye is now twitching. Lol It is nothing against him I just like to be left alone. I know personally for him he has cabin fever which makes him gravitate to me for entertainment which causes me not to get anything done! Oh, well we could have bigger problems.
I went to the doctor yesterday. On top of my OAB (overactive bladder) he has now diagnosed me with IC (interstitial cystitis) which I kind of sort of knew I had. For those of you that do not know what that is…its hell. It is excruciating pain in the bladder they dub as “flares”. It can be caused by eating acidic foods, sexual intercourse, BMs, the monthly, working out or really…just existing as a being on this planet. Mine is about 50% under control thanks to diet and certain exercise. I live with a hot water bottle. It eases the pain significantly.
This Friday Mark will be smoking some ribs and we will be having some witchy friends over for Litha or the summer solstice. It is gonna be a blast! I am very much looking forward to the bond fire, yummy healthy food and friends. Hopefully that will help keep Mark from crawling the walls! Lolz
Trying to get back on track but finding it hard because my back is a little messed up. I am thinking light yoga and the recumbent bike mixed with walks. I need to get refocused before I gain everything back! Bleh!
Hope everyone is well!
Get An Email Alert Each Time TALULAX- Posts