Sweat & Tears

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Ok, so there were a few tears last night. I wasn't sobbing and I usually hate to cry but the frustration build up was just too much.

I really don't know why I felt (feel) so overwhelmed. But, I did (do).

I have seriously cut my portions and I have to pay attention to make sure I don't under eat. Who knew I would ever have THAT problem???

But the scales just don't want to move. I don't really care what the scale says but it's the easiest most accessible way to measure progress, so I find myself watching those numbers just hoping they drop.

I've been attempting to work out with the hubs in the morning but I've found 2 major issues with this.
1) I'm not a morning person... at all. I begrudge leaving my bed before I have to in order to get a workout in. And I have to go to bed earlier to avoid the inevitable zombie state that's sure to follow (and no, you shouldn't cross me because yes, I will eat your brain.)

2) I don't like the workout I've been attempting. DH got some Tough Mudder training workouts and that's what I've been trying to do. It's just not for me. I'm going to have to start a little smaller and build my way up to that.

So getting out of bed to do something I don't like = misery!

Exercise shouldn't be miserable. So I'm changing speeds. I'm going to gear down for this hill.

And hopefully I want have to cry on hubby's shoulder because I fear that I just can't do it.

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1... 2... 3... JUMP!

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

I can remember being the first of my siblings (and friends) to do a lot of things... I was kinda the one in charge. I’d make sure it was ok for everyone else. If I deemed it unsafe… it wasn’t going to happen. (I was a momma bear way before I even thought about having kids and I wasn’t even the oldest).

I remember standing at the edge of a cliff and looking down at the water below. I was in the front… everyone was waiting for me to make the first move. We called it the Black Hole, because the water was so deep the water looked black. I knew there was nothing I could possible hit – even from this high up… and I was jumping feet first (rather break my leg than my neck, right?)

My heart was racing… I was so unsure of myself, but I wanted to do it. I counted in my head… 1… 2… 3… and I launched myself off the rock and went down, down, down… SPLASH!!! When I surface and move out of the way? Splash, splash, splash, splash… in everyone else went.

As long as I can remember when I was afraid to do something, I would count to three, then just… do it!

Over the years those daring jumps have stopped and my heart only races when I see my little one get hurt. I’m not afraid of spiders, I’m not afraid of snakes. I’ve never been afraid to get dirty. The only thing I’m not a big fan of is dirt caked under my nails… not because of the way it looks, but it feels, well… annoying. But the only dirt I find under my nails if from the flower bed in front of the house. I think I am my own worst fear. Afraid that I'm not good enough, or that I CAN'T do "it" (whatever "it" is from one situation to another).

But now, I find myself standing at the edge of another cliff and I’m about to start counting.

Hubby has decided he wants to participate in a Tough Mudder race this fall. He is seriously excited and he really wants to do this. Who am I to hold him back? But he wants me to do this with him.

Me? I have some real reservations. October? In Kentucky? NORTHERN Kentucky? Are you serious? Do you have ANY idea how cold that water is going to be? I’m a big ol’ sissy when it comes to being cold.

Also… aside from toting my son around at 42 lbs and throwing the VERY occasional bale of hay – my arm strength is seriously limited. I don’t think I’d be able to do a pull up to save my life (to save my son’s life I’d damn near be levitating – no pull ups necessary!) I’m just not fit enough to be able to do a Tough Mudder! Or so I thought.

Turns out, it’s all about fun. I won’t make a fool of myself. Well, I won’t look like a fool any more than any of the other idiots out there getting covered in mud.

So, I guess… here goes. I’m going to invest in a good pair of shoes and a good pair of gloves… I’m going to trim up the ol’ finger nails to minimize their crud catching abilities… I’m going to tell DH to sign us both up.

1… 2… 3!!!!!!

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Operation Clean Freezer

Monday, April 22, 2013

Welcome to Operation Clean Freezer!

Growing season is back in session. This means cheaper produce and a garden of my own! Woooohoooo!

I do have one little problem… after a long, long, LOOOOONG winter full of batch cooking and freezing the extras I have a freezer that is absolutely jam packed! The good news? There’s no room for frozen pizza. The bad news? There’s no room for the new stuff either.

So, in the interest of not letting food go to waste, and keeping a good rotation to keep the food waste thing from happening I have initiated Operation Clean Freeze!
Within the next 2 weeks, I’m hoping that the contents of my freezer with diminish significantly.

The process started yesterday with a whole roaster chicken in the crockpot and a giant bag of vegetable soup put in the refrigerator to thaw out. I also discovered some steak, a few ears of corn, there is a ton of frozen strawberries in there, and some blueberries and blackberries, home-made chicken broth, probably some chicken breast… my oh my! I think we might just have a meal of side dishes one night just to help out. LOL!

I do believe Little O and I will have a fruit smoothie this evening as a special treat.
Most everything in the freezer is healthy. Chances are, if it’s not healthy, it’s waaaay past expiration anyway. So – this should be a good way to keep everything (and everyone) on track.

DH just had a flare up with his diverticulitis. So – here I go dragging him along on the healthy thing too.

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Restaurant Calories: Soap box edition

Tuesday, April 02, 2013

WOW…

Ok – so I just ate lunch with a friend of mine. We went to Cheddar’s and it was YUMMO!

So, I get back to the office and thought I’d try to find out how I did with my “good choices” while I was there.

I had a spring salad with roasted pears and a balsamic dressing of some sort, had water to drink, and I totally gave in to those sinful honey croissants (oops, it happens).

Aside from the croissant, I’d have to say that this is a good healthy decision (yes, EVEN if the pears were roasted in… dunt-dunt-duhhhhhh… butter!) Why? Because it wasn't fried chicken and there were no french fries involved.

So, I Google “Cheddar's Nutritional Info” and what did I find? Not the info I was looking for… but a blog. Yes, a blog. Written several years ago – but OH the responses to this blog!

The author claimed to have eaten there and he and his wife very much enjoyed it, but they (sadly) would not be eating there again. Why? Because the nutritional information wasn’t available.

Now – I think that is fine. It is your own decision what you eat, where you eat and how you want to eat it. BUT, the responses were just down right comical!

The language… oh, the language! “Socially irresponsible”… “unhealthiness”… “will NOT be returning”… “TERRIBLE customer service”… “disrespectful”… these were the words used to describe this company for the simple reason that the fat/calorie content of the menu was not available.

It is all fine and good to not go to a restaurant because you are unsure about the calories and such… but to bash the company and declare that they should be boycotted and are socially irresponsible? I think not!

It is convenient that some restaurants do this – and it is important that we pay attention to what we eat. Did you catch that? That WE (WE, people, WE!!!) pay attention.

If you want to dine out, by all means do so. But, if you are doing so be aware of the “key words” (there’s a whole article on this here on Spark) to stay away from.

Salad sounds healthy but you can rack up the calories easily… forgo the cheese (personally I assume that all restaurant cheese is full fat cheese - they don't typically give up taste for "low fat" - it's a restaurant thing)… take it easy on the croutons… go with light dressing… or do the oil & vinegar dressing… or something you KNOW is oil based (as opposed to creamy).

It’s tricky and you probably won’t stay exactly within your calories… but eating a salad that has grilled chicken and slivered almonds (even if the calorie count does get a little high), is going to be far more nutritious than deep fried chicken fingers, with French fries and a quadruple layer chocolate cake for dessert.

One meal isn’t going to make you keel over! And Cheddar's (McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Dairy Queen or any other chain… fast food or otherwise) isn’t responsible for making us overweight.

Disclaimer: I'm NOT referring to food allergens. I think that food allergens should be listed. Gluten, soy, nuts, dairy… these things need to be listed because of obvious reasons (um... because if you eat a peanut and your face implodes... that doesn't sound fun and I don't want to sit with you any more).

The calorie and fat content – I think we can get a handle on that for a few of the sit-down "nicer" places.

Now, don't get me wrong... I do love the fact that McDonald's posts their content - because I do eat there sometimes... because it's helpful and convenient... because it MIGHT make me accountable that day... and because I can STILL make the decision to eat an 80 piece chicken nugget and a bucket of fries (with a DIET Coke, of course) even with the info right in front of me... knowing full well that a grilled chicken sandwich would be better for me (and I don't need numbers to know that - I'm just smart that way).

It's time for our society to get a grip. Yes - America is fat. But it didn't happen over night. It didn't happen during one magical meal that sent your calories and your sodium soaring to epic proportions. It's a steady diet of the bad stuff... it's a sedentary lifestyle... it's a build up of bad decisions... it's poor genetics for some... it's the lack of nutritional/physical education... it's stress... it's a combination of ALL of these things...

But I assure you... it's NOT because Cheddar's didn't post their nutritional information.

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Iron woman I am not

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Well, it's nearly 2 am... can't sleep... might as well blog.

I want to apologize for not being very active on spark lately. I have been a busy lady and today had plans to visit some friends pages/blogs and my computer froze up. Yeah... ain't nobody got time for that!

So I'm a bit bothered and I'm hosting a pitty party tonight if anyone wants to come.

I am definitely my own worst enemy when it comes to this whole weight loss thing. I seem to be the queen of excuses and setbacks. For example, co-worker decided to be "nice" and bring in one of the 3 boxes of Krispey Kreme donuts that he decided he and his family don't need (and you bought them because????)

have I ever mentioned that KK donuts are kind of my weakness? Well, they are. And once again there they sit in the little kitchenette that I have to walk through every time I get up from my desk. So yeah - I ate em. More than I should have. And since I'm TRYING to do Phase 1 of South Beach that's kind if a big no-no.

But it doesn't stop there. It's one thing after another... constantly!

I swear I have no willpower! I completely lack the ability to stay on track.

Which leads me to confess that I lost 6 pounds in one week (phenomenal) but gained 4 lbs back and have since been fighting with the same 3-4 lbs for 3 weeks!

I know I was being oh so positive in my last post, but these shingles are starting to really get to me. It's constant pain and discomfort. Clothes hurt, sitting against the back of a chair hurts, riding in the car hurts... I've finished my meds and the bumps/rash (mark of the devil) are starting to fade but the pain isn't.

I'm getting very frustrated with it. And never mind working out. I feel like total poo. I can't even carry my son so getting him into his carseat when I pick him up is actually quite painful.

So I hate to be such a bummer to everyone but I sure could use a miracle right about now.

Thanks for listening to my whiney @$$. I'm hoping I'll perk up tomorrow, but I may need some stronger pain meds for that to happen. It's another day and I will remain hopeful!

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