I'm Back

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Well, after 4 months off I am back...for good I hope. I gained back every ounce that I had lost, which is discouraging. But I am glad to be back. I was sharing with my husband how much I desire to take myself back and get this excess weight off. He asked what he could do to support me and I shared that having only one computer was hard, since it meant I often didn't have access to computer. The next day Bruce surpised me with a new laptop of my own. WOW. I have to say that totally blew me away. He has never done such a lavish thing. (He's not a surprise kind of guy). So, now I have my own computer to help me with my program. And that gives me access to all of you anytime. Yay. I installed Diet Power to track my food and exercise. So, I'm all set. I pray for the willingness to follow my plan for this day.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAVAJO47 12/21/2008 12:40AM

Hi Lisa, It's funny that I've been thinking of you lately. I have been long gone from Spark People as well and have also gained lots of weight. Unfortunately due to some health issues, I've been on prednisone which has made me hungary 24/7. I have about 25 lbs to lose now :( How totally awesome that your husband was kind enough to buy a laptop for you. It is so nice to have access anytime to all the needed tools. Maybe we can encourage each other. If only to get through Christmas and New Years' initially! Hope you and your family have a very blessed Christmas and happy new year. Jo Ann Report Inappropriate Comment

SWIRLINGIRL 12/14/2008 10:58AM

I'm glad your back! Let's stay in touch. I'm sending you mail with more personal info. I need help too. Report Inappropriate Comment

No Motivation

Friday, September 05, 2008

I have to say, I am really not motivated. There is a part of me that wants to be motivated, but I feel lazy at the moment. I just don't really have it in me. How did I do from all the enthusiasm and momentum when I was truly enjoying my food plan and my exercise plan to this place of complete apathy?

I think that really exercise was the foundation of my program. So, if I exercise for 15 minutes today that would be success. That is what I will commit to for today. 15 minutes on the elliptical machine today. I am just going to stay conscious of my process, keep writing, and keep reaching out. If anyone has motivation to share, please send it my way.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SWIRLINGIRL 9/8/2008 8:22PM

Sometimes you just need to allow yourself to be exactly where you are. Report Inappropriate Comment

MAXFOCUS 9/6/2008 11:54PM

I think we all have points where we are just not motivated. To remotivate myself I usually look over my goals and figure out how am I going to achieve them. It is great that you decided that you can commit to 15 minutes on the elliptical. 15 minutes is better than nothing and sometimes once you start, you figure you might as well keep going. Report Inappropriate Comment

MICHELEB04 9/5/2008 10:59AM

Hey there, I stumbled across your blog on the "30-something's" page. You have a great story, thank you for sharing it. :) When I need motivation, I will browse through the featured spark pages. It helps to see and hear about other people's struggles and what they overcame. Bottom line is, YOU CAN DO IT!!! You can't expect to feel motivated every single day, that's just not the reality. Today is a day to ask for commitment! Be committed to your goal, cause motivation isn't everything. Start exercising with your goal of 15 minutes. Even if you quit after 5 minutes, that's still 5 more than you would have done!!!! Thanks again for sharing your story, it inspired me to write you a comment. Good luck and I hope you have a GREAT day! Report Inappropriate Comment

CHILIDOG2012 9/5/2008 9:57AM

I HEAR YOU! Exercise has always been the hardest hurdle for me. People keep saying that if I hang in there I will become addicted to it but I must not have that gene. I have gone through successful periods of going to the gym but once I went on a short trip last year I just haven't been able to get back. Now on day 5 of being a Spark person I have actually worked out (a big 15 minutes) every day and while I am glad I did, it is still hard for me to build any enthusiasm for it. Sadly, just cutting back on food isn't enough to get the pounds moving so I have to bite the bullet. I must admit I felt much better when I was exercising regularly but there was always that part of me that watches the clock every time I do. I forgot I was supposed to help motivate you - well, if I have to exercise so do you! How's that for motivation? Tonight at 5 after I get home and walk the dog I will be putting on my new Billy Blanks DVD and putting in my 15 minutes (maybe tonight it can be 20). Although in my head I will be saying "is it over yet?" I will do it. Go for it!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

SKINNYDINNY 9/5/2008 9:39AM

You can do it!!! I am in the same boat today - usually I am so excited to get to the gym, today I avoided it like the plague. Now I'm thinking of doing a 30 minute power yoga video on itunes - if I can just do that I'll be happy. We can do it, right?? :) Hang in there! Report Inappropriate Comment

Staying Conscious in Eating

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Yesterday was a better day. I did plan my food and I stayed with my plan all day until right before bed. I ended up going over my plan by about 100 calories. I consider it a success that I am logging my weight every day, planning my food, and reporting in on how things are going. I am planning on a better day today. I just turn this over to God today and ask for the willingness to stay mindful of what I am doing and to take care of myself.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SWIRLINGIRL 9/4/2008 4:24PM

Yay! Now you are inspiring me. Thank you. Report Inappropriate Comment

September 2, Turning it Over to God

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

So, yesterday was recommitment day and I started the day feeling discouraged already. I had great ideas for planning on success, but at some level I knew that I was not really going to do it. I ate about 6 mini cupcakes and a rootbeer float. And I did it mindlessly...not even checking in with myself and my goals. I feel scared. I feel scared that I am not finding the willingness to re-commit. There is a part of me that wants to eat unconsciously and I don't really know why.

For today, I am writing about it. I am going to practice radical self-acceptance. I gently make room for these feelings and try to understand what my real needs are.

I have made a food plan for today, and since life is getting back to normal I am planning on staying with my plan.

For today, I acknowledge all of these confusing feelings, I acknowledge the part that doesn't want to let go of the enjoyment of unconscious eating. I know that part is there and that it needs to be acknowledged.

For today, writing about this is a part of my recovery from it.

For today, I turn my life and my will over to my loving God and ask God to help me get through this day of turning the energy around and getting back on track.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SWIRLINGIRL 9/4/2008 4:23PM

You are doing great! I know how hard it is. I've been a little sloppy lately, since I hurt my foot. But I'm better now. All I can do is ask for the willingness to come to re-establish some momentum. I too need to remember to turn it over to my higher power. Report Inappropriate Comment

CUATROMOMMY 9/2/2008 1:42PM

I've been stuck in the same place. Today, I am starting over. Report Inappropriate Comment

THATGIRL1967 9/2/2008 10:28AM

AMEN! Report Inappropriate Comment

September 1 - Recommitment Day

Monday, September 01, 2008

Today is the day for re-commitment. I am already feeling discouraged about it. We are having a picnic with some families and I want to eat mindlessly at this event. Why would I want to do that when in the long run I don't ever feel good about myself when I am not taking care of me? I am thinking that I'll be bringing cupcakes and I want a cupcake. I am going to remind myself that I can acknowledge these feelings, but I don't have to act on them. I am going to plan for success.

What I am going to do is make my meal plan for the day and plan on making it through the day under my calorie target for today. I don't want to have to start from square 1 and I already gained 6 1/2 pounds in the month of August. I am putting a stop to that gaining trend and continuing on my goal to get the 40 pounds off. I need the support of this site to do it.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LBP1961 9/1/2008 9:00AM

I am starting over today as well. I have gained back 20 pounds. We can do this, we need to do this and get off the guilt trip. Mostly get healthy. It is 9h00 and I am still on track. Oh yeah.... I am taking this one minute at a time if I need to. I understand what you are feeling. Let's be strong. Report Inappropriate Comment