Monday, October 14, 2013
Last night's dream I had a glimpse of what I think is part of the belief system that may be interfering with my building a business and being successful at working at home - for myself.
The dream - while I will skip the intimate details basically had the overall theme of unorganized, disorganized, couldn't find anything, had no real structure, or direction. With the librarian who was sitting in the front of the 'mess' saying
- You'll never be able to organize this and make something of this. There is not enough time.
- You're going to run out of time before this even is usable.
- Why bother even starting - you'll just run out of time and have to get a real job (which is the real painful one of this belief - that my Craft isn't real enough to be classified as a job)
But I decided early on in this process that its a Vocation/Business - not just a job. There are jobs to do within this Craft business but it is not 'A Job' (The real part I will take on in another blog - just not today)
Back to the first part of the dream issue;
Allocation of time - I realize part of what happened the last year at work for me was my structure of allocation of time was disruptive and demanding. Even though there were fixed activities each day, it was the unpredicted but expected crisis of the day that was the hard part, and lack of any sort of preparation to make it easier when whatever hit - hit me hard and constantly made me feel unprepared, or incompetent, or worse an idiot.
Because of that - I made some things what I called business first aid kits, tools and processes that when these crises hit, I could hit the ground running with some structure so I could function instead of feeling lost or worse scattered.
Last night's dream tapped me with the reminder - that I am in uncharted waters and I haven't created my first aid kits (processes or high level tasks) that allows me to structure my time without cramping my creativity.
Setting smaller daily goals that achieve an outcome for the bigger goal of getting my business moving along as well as my soul replenished (working in my garden, doing my outdoor meditation, setting up scheduled exercise and walk time) is something I need to do.
Otherwise its just going to be last week all over again, with by the end of the week - while I did accomplish things (organized the paper craft side of my art studio to find duplicate of things, organized the fabrics so I know what I have right now to work with, and took pics/posted to both Etsy and Ebay items for sale) - I was rather dysfunctional in the way I accomplished those.
- Now what does this all have to do with loosing weight; Simple, my stress is what keeps my weight on.
It isn't how much I eat - we've got that pretty much under control, and I exercise (want to do more) - it is my sleep, my stress, and my mood that is just dragging me down to where I fall apart. Then the exercise goes out the window.
Btw, here's one of the cards this weekend I made
Monday, October 14, 2013
What time did you wake up today? 9:15 am - massive headache decided to go back to bed at 9:45 - woke up again 11:45 am
What time are you lying down to go to sleep? 12:30 am
What, if any, was your bedtime routine? - Pills, moisturize, read
What were the last food(s) you consumed tonight? Dinner - 8:30 pm
Did you exercise today? Just my yoga
Did you consume any alcoholic beverages today? No
Did you consume any caffeinated drinks or foods today? 1 Cup of coffee - Morning
Did you take any medications (prescription and/or over-the-counter) today? (Standard routine - Yes)
Did you take any naps today? No - though I thought about it at 5 this afternoon
What types of stressors did you encounter today, and what types do you expect to encounter tomorrow? - I'm starting to snap - and most of it is not sure what to do. Nothing sold. I am finding I can't even figure what to say for a newsletter to help foster more orders.
How hungry did you feel today? 2
How awake did you feel today? 3- Fairly alert
How irritable did you feel today? 3 - I need to figure something out + the nightmares and such hit again last night.
How long did it take you to fall asleep last night? 45 minutes (Frustrated, couldn't calm my mind. Going to bed with this feeling of doom and gloom because nothing has sold - even the extra craft supplies.)
How many times did you wake up during the night? 4
In total, how many hours did you sleep last night? 9:38 am (though I almost got up on the last sleep cycle at 6:03 when I woke up last...)
-- Added to the tracking-- To track even in the morning now
Energy Level - 2 (bleh)
Stress Level - 2 (Mostly not higher because I am working on the belief system that I identified last night in a Dream)
Quality of Sleep - 3 (The first sleep cycle was disruptive but the second and third were normal, no nightmares - though I had this dream about someone from High school that I had this HUGE crush on)
Self-Esteem - 3 - and dropping but I think I caught a glimpse at the belief system that is trying to worm its way into my consciousness about building my own business.
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