Thursday, November 22, 2012
My weight hasn't changed much since August. I've actually gained a pound or two. I'm still not weighing myself, but I did catch a glimpse of my weight at the doctor's office last week -- I was 150 while fully clothed and after eating a couple of meals. I haven't been exercising as much, and my eating hasn't been so great either, so I'm not expecting big results until I really buckle down and change my diet.
However, I am excited about one thing -- my size is stable for the first time ever. I haven't bought "nice" clothes in years and I always have multiple wardrobes in varying sizes in order to accommodate my yo-yo dieting. This is embarrassing to say, but until this past year, I had never worn the same size clothing for more than three months straight. I've almost never worn out a piece of clothing. I always get rid of my clothes after not being able to get into them for a while. From a very young age my weight fluctuated a lot -- I was ALWAYS either gaining or losing. It's actually kind of nice to be stable, and I'm close enough to my goal that if I buy certain styles of clothing I know they will still fit me even if I lose 10-15 lbs.
I am slowly getting over my anxiety over shopping at stores that don't have a plus-size line. Even though I am well aware of my size, I imagine that if I buy clothes from (or even enter) a "regular" store, that somehow I'll magically gain 50 pounds in five minutes and nothing will fit. I'm probably five pounds too heavy to get into a size 8, so this anxiety is getting a bit ridiculous. I bought some size M tops from Victoria's Secret and they fit nicely! I can't weight to get more clothes without feeling compelled to shop at thrift stores or Ross because I'm worried I won't be able to wear my clothes for more than three months.
I'm still 15 lbs above a healthy BMI, and my body fat, while lower than one would expect for someone my height and weight, is still higher than I would like. I may not be able to get all the way down to 130, but I should be at a healthy body fat percentage in the mid-130s.
I'm getting there slowly, but I'm okay where I am.
Monday, November 05, 2012
I don't have a lot of pictures of myself at my heaviest weight. I avoided the camera a lot back then. I didn't get out much so there weren't many occasions to take pictures of me, anyway.
I was looking for a specific picture today, and I found quite a few pictures of me taken in 2002-2003, which is when I was at my heaviest.
This picture was definitely taken in 2002. I'm not sure I what I weighed, but probably around 250 lbs:
Now, I realize that in addition to my size, I'm wearing a bulky sweater and this picture was taken at an unflattering angle, but I still can't believe that's what I looked like ten years ago when I was about 23 or 24 years old. I don't look much better in other pictures taken from better angles.
That sweater was a size 24W sweater from Lane Bryant.
Here's a recent picture of me at size 10 (age 33):
Saturday, November 03, 2012
In addition to my regular weekly goals, I'm not going to weigh myself for the month of November. I'm getting a little obsessive about the scale and it's depressing me. Also, if I see a "bad" number I get depressed, but if I see a "good" number I feel better about letting myself slack a bit.
So, I'm just going to avoid it for a month. I put my scale at the back of my closet. So far so good. I weighed myself on Halloween and I was 149. I was retaining a ton of water so I didn't update my ticker.
I'm also going to go through the whole month without any alcohol at all. I like to have wine on the weekends when I watch TV (and sometimes during the week) but I'm abstaining for now. Wish me luck!
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
I really slacked off this month. I slacked off last month, too. I'm fortunate that the scale hasn't been too unkind. My weight fluctuates around the upper 140s.
I haven't been able to ride my bike because my pedals get really slippery in rain and I LIVE IN SEATTLE so that's a problem. I had good intentions -- I really was going to ride in the rain but I'm not comfortable with standing up on my pedals to go up hills, and again -- SEATTLE -- no matter where I go, I'm going to find hills. Also, my bike saddle is wobbly so I have to have someone look at it and I haven't gotten around to taking it to the shop.
No worries, though, I have a gym and I have fitness videos, so I need to revamp my plan and really take responsibility for my eating habits.
First of all, I am going to hit the gym three times a week: Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I will do strength training for 30 minutes and then at least 60 of cardio.
On my days away from the gym, I will stick to bike rides (weather and bike saddle permitting) and Turbo Fire/Jillian Michaels DVDs. All in all I want to do five hours a week of cardio. I just have to keep on myself about food and stay away from alcohol!
I was on a pretty good regimen of only having only about four drinks a month, but at some point that went by the wayside. Oops!
I still want to lose close to 20 lbs but given my size, hunger levels, thyroid disease, etc, it will probably take a while. Losing weight at 148 lbs is a bit more difficult than losing weight at 220 lbs. My eating habits haven't even changed all that much, but I get so hungry and I don't want to go through the whole deprivation thing again.
I need to cook more and eat more vegetables, so I'm going to try to make a trip to my local produce stand once a week. I was doing that for a while and it helped a lot.
So that's me, looking forward to the end of 2012 and beyond. I have no idea how long it will take to get these 15-20 lbs off!
Monday, October 01, 2012
September was a weird month for me. This is probably the first month since my SparkPeople reboot that I haven't lost any weight (not counting my "maintenance month" when I sprained an ankle and had the flu). I gained a pound. Ouch! Most people would be surprised by this given how much I exercise, but I'm not surprised at all. My eating has been TERRIBLE. I'm sure that some of it is muscle because I have lost an inch in each thigh. I haven't done my full measurements so I don't know how the rest of my measurements will add up.
So, I did some things well and other things not-so-well.
I'm still doing strength training two to three times a week. I really see a difference, too!
I've been doing well with using my bicycle for transportation instead of the bus. It's actually a welcome change. Sure, I get less reading time, but I also deal with fewer weirdos and I get more time to just *think*. I ride to the gym most of the time that I go, and I also ride to the pharmacy, library, grocery store, and the beach. I have a sickly, old cat, and I'll be riding to the vet's office tomorrow to pick up supplies. I enjoy riding at the beach, even though there are some not-too-bright pedestrians and skaters. I almost ran head-on into a girl who was texting, roller-skating, walking a dog, and listening to an iPod, all at the same time.
As far as where I need improvement, it's basically the same old bad habits I always fall into. I have been lazy with grocery shopping, so then I end up eating out. I haven't been planning well, and then my blood sugar drops and I get bad cravings and uncontrollable hunger. So, I need to work on drinking more water during times I'm not exercising, and keeping more fruit and vegetables around.
I also had my birthday and a couple of stress binges, so that threw me off, too. I just need to take a bit more responsibility. It's a constant struggle and I have to be diligent.
I still struggle with riding my bike to the gym. The last six or so blocks are KILLER. They're all uphill, with lots of stops and starts so it's impossible to maintain momentum. It's not fun at all. The ride home, however, really is fun, so there's that.
I was originally trying to burn 5000 calories a week, but now that I'm more used to cycling, I don't burn anywhere near the amount I did at first. So, I aim to burn 4000. I hope that if I control my diet more that I can lose these last 17 or so pounds by January or February!
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