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Fireproof Your marraige Team Monthly Book Club schedule (AKA Tashena's recommended reading list for

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Thought I would post this as a blog as well just so it is in one place for everyone to reference but also because my team is small and growing and I'd like all my friends in all my teams to have access to this list. So here it is, the books I've gone through and intend to go through. I'm encouraging my Fireproof teammates to go through and anyone else is welcomed to pick and choose to learn and grow with us! December 2008 - April 2009 are rereads for me, but as an imperfect person I need the reminders! And I hope to learn a lot of new things from the May 2009 - December 2009 part of the list. I hope others can read them and learn a lot as well! Book, Author and short description listed below

October & November 2008– The Love Dare
Too many marriages end when someone says “I’ve fallen out of love with you” or “I don’t love you anymore.” In reality, such statements reveal a lack of understanding about the fundamental nature of true love.

The Love Dare, as featured in the new movie Fireproof (starring Kirk Cameron and from the team that brought us the #1 best selling DVD Facing the Giants), is a forty-day guided devotional experience that will lead your heart back to truly loving your spouse while learning more about the design, nature, and source of true love.

Each day’s entry discusses a unique aspect of love, presents a specific “dare” to do for your spouse (some will be very easy, others very challenging), and gives you a journaling area to chart the progress that you will be making.

It's time to learn the keys to finding true intimacy and developing a dynamic marriage. Take the dare!
Unconditional love is eagerly promised at weddings, but rarely practiced in real life. As a result, romantic hopes are often replaced with disappointment in the home, but it doesn't have to stay that way.
The Love Dare, as featured in the new movie Fireproof, is a 40-day challenge for husbands and wives to understand and practice unconditional love. Whether your marriage is hanging by a thread or healthy and strong, The Love Dare is a journey you need to take.

December 2008 – Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus Dr. John Gray PHD
An essential tool for couples who want to develop more satisfying relationships with their partners. In this book, John provides a practical and proven way for men and women to communicate better by acknowledging the differences between them.
Based on years of counseling couples and research, he gives advice on how to counteract these differences in communication styles, emotional needs and modes of behavior to promote a greater understanding between partners. His simple suggestions for reducing conflict, information on interpreting behavior and secrets to successful relationships will enrich your life.

January 2009 – The Five Love Languages Dr. Gary Chapman
Making Marriage Work: It doesn't have to feel like a chore
Your emotional love language and the language of your spouse may be as different as Chinese from English. No matter how hard you try to express love in “English”, if your spouse understands only “Chinese”, you will never understand how to love each other.
Marriage Myth: Married life is unhappy life.
Fact: Studies show that married people have better emotional and physical health, longer lives, greater sexual satisfaction,
greater incomes, and more accumulated wealth.

January 2009 The Five Love Languages

Being sincere is not enough. We must be willing to learn our spouse’s primary love language if we are to be effective communicators of love.
My conclusion after thirty years of marriage counseling is that there are basically five emotional love languages—five ways that people speak and understand emotional love. However, there may be numerous dialects. The important thing is to speak the love language of your spouse.
Communicating love isn’t as easy as feeling “in love,” because it’s quite a different thing. Falling in love is not an act of the will or a conscious choice. It’s effortless. One who is “in love” is not genuinely interested in fostering the personal growth of the other person. If the euphoric pleasure of being “in love” never ended, we might never experience true love and meaningful communication.
Love is something you do for someone else, not something you do for yourself. Most of us do many things each day that do not come “naturally” for us. For some of us, that is getting out of bed in the morning. We go against our feelings and get out of bed because we believe there is something worthwhile to do that day. And normally, before the day is over, we feel good about having gotten up. Our actions preceded our emotions.
The same is true with love. We discover the primary love language of our spouse, and we choose to speak it whether or not it is natural for us. You might not love the language itself, but speaking it will clearly communicate love to your spouse.
Love is a choice. And either partner can start the process today.

February 2009 – Personality Plus by Florence Littauer
In Personality Plus, Florence Littauer gives you valuable insight for appreciating your one-of-a-kind, God-given personality. She includes a Personality Profile test that reveals how your unique blend of traits affects your emotions, work performance, and relationships. Through humorous anecdotes and straightforward counsel, Personality Plus guides you to improve upon your strengths and correct your weaknesses.

March 2009 – His Needs, Her Needs – 15th Anniversary Eddition By Willard F. Harley Jr.
It's no surprise - men and women have radically different priorities. Describing the ten most important needs of men and women, Dr. Harley teaches you how to "affair-proof" your marriage. Learn how to sustain romance, increase intimacy, and deepen your awareness year after year. This 15th anniversary edition features a new preface, plus personal questionnaires and inventories.

April 2009 – Love & Respect: The Love she most Desires, the Respect he Desperately Needs
Discover the secret that cracks the communication code between husbands and wives and reap the benefits of marriage as God intended. Citing extensive biblical and psychological research, Eggerichs shows that harmony and happiness in relationships is not achieved by love alone, but by building on both parts of the Ephesians 5:33 equation: love and respect. A Focus on the Family book.

May, June and July 2009 - Becoming the Woman God Wants Me to Be: A 90-Day Guide to Living the Proverbs 31 Life
By: Donna Partow

Energize your whole life in 90 days with Partow's practical 13-week plan! Covering everything from faith and family to fitness, fashion, and finances, she shows you how to have greater personal vitality and deeper intimacy with God. This in-depth study of Proverbs 31:10-31 includes a leader's guide and study questions. Paperback.

August 2009 - Love Busters: Protecting Your Marriage from Habits that Destroy Romantic Love by Willard F.Jr. Harley
In this fifteenth anniversary edition of Love Busters, Willard F. Harley, Jr., helps couples identify and overcome the most common habits that destroy the feeling of love.

September 2009 - Becoming the Woman of His Dreams : Seven Qualities Every Man Longs For by Sharon Jaynes
Becoming the Woman of His Dreams is for women who want to be more Cinderella than Cruella De Vil, but this book is not just about living happily ever after. It's a thoughtful look at the wonderful, unique, and God-ordained role a woman has in her husband's life.
Author Sharon Jaynes surveyed hundreds of men and asked them many specific questions, including
How would you describe the woman of your dreams?
What does your wife do well that other women could learn from?
What is one thing you wish women understood about what a man wants in the woman of his dreams?
Pulling it all together, Sharon presents seven key qualities that together unlock the secret to a happy marriage.

October 2009 - What a Husband Needs from His Wife: Physically, Emotionally, Spiritually by Melanie Chitwood
What do men really need from their wives? And what is the best way for wives to meet those needs? This engaging and thoroughly biblical guide demonstrates that a woman meets her husband's needs most effectively by maintaining her own vibrant personal relationship with Christ. Filled with useful tools that will help women understand their husbands better, this enlightening resource includes...
ideas for dealing with addictions, infidelity, and financial challenges
explanations of personality types and love languages
resources that offer help for the helper
A study guide at the end of the book makes this a perfect tool for individual or small group use.

November 2009 - The Power of a Woman's Words: Speaking Life and Healing into Your Relationships by Sharon Jaynes
International speaker Sharon Jaynes believes that women have incredible power in their sphere of influence with the words they speak.
Words are one of the most powerful forces in the universe, and they can be used for good or evil. When God created our world, He did so with words. He said, "Let there be..." and it was so. While our words cannot bring into existence things that are not, they do have the power to build courage into a husband's life, instill confidence into a child's heart, fan into flames the dying embers of a friend's smoldering dreams, and draw the lost to Christ.
This book is for every woman who desires to use her words to build up rather than tear down, to encourage rather than discourage, to cheer rather than jeer. It is for all who desire to have more control over that mighty force called the tongue.

December 2009 - The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian
The Power of a Praying Wife has sold more than 3,000,000 copies and has encouraged countless women to trust God for their marriages. Stormie Omartian's key insights are revealed through real-life illustrations, inspiring Scriptures, encouraging quotes, and sample prayers to help every wife pray for her husband's

Spiritual walk
Role as father and leader
Security in work and finances
Faith and future

Any woman who desires a closer relationship with her husband will enjoy receiving this refreshing look at the power of prayer in marriage.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GATORGIRL428 9/21/2013 5:16PM



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-WRKNG2ABTTRME- 8/19/2009 5:25PM

    Some very good reads!

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Happy anniversary to me!

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Okay it is late but January 21st was my 1 year anniversary here at sparkpeople! And wow what a good year it was! I learned a lot and went from being a student to a team leader of a couple teams! I also actually have made goal weight! I weighed in two weeks in a row under 129! Yeah! I started out with a goal weight of 125 mostly because it sounds nice, round and pretty. After some research though of my healthy goal weight I changed it to 129. Around May when it is warmer and I increase my cardio I may try to get down to 125 but as for now I am happy with myself.
It is nice to feel like I have accomplished this. I started out here on a bad day at 160 lbs on a good day 156 lbs (and that is what I used as my starting weight because of course it looks better.) And this week to be 27.6 lbs lighter feels just great.
But the journey has just begun and I have so much more to do! I still have lots of goals that must be accomplished:
1. Consistently eat 5 servings of fruits/Veggies daily
2. Eat more fresh produce
3. Expand my variety of cooking to include more ethnic foods
4. Regularly detox
5. Regularly do ST
6. Flatten my stomach
7. Work on a clear plan to get licensed as a personal trainer
8. Educate myself on herbalism and holistic foods
9. Study, research and begin more clean eating
10. Always be an example to my teams!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

4KRYSTAL4 2/6/2009 2:21PM

    Congrats on year #1 :-) You have been such an inspiring and driving force on the team I know you have made such tremendous progress. Thanks for all you do!

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MOMFAN 2/6/2009 1:49AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon



emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DOITALLMOM 2/5/2009 9:50AM

    Great job, you must be so PROUD of yourself for what you have accomplished, and you must feel so much better! Way to go!!!


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    Way to go! I love your list of goals. Very achievable.

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GINGER01604 2/5/2009 8:13AM

    That is great! Keep it up you are doing great!

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Another one of those reality checks . . . .

Monday, December 29, 2008

So I had a big reality check this weekend my father that is in his early 50’s was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Thankfully it is in its early stages so hopefully it won’t be too bad.

Also for the first time on Saturday I saw my MIL have a really bad low blood sugar level. I’ve seen her be out of it and my husband make her drink something to get out of it. But this time she almost stabbed herself with a fork (plastic thank goodness) start shaking and convulsing, could barely talk and took a long time to come out of it. It was quite a contrast after getting that news from my father on Friday.

Mind you my father is not obese, clinically overweight with a gut like most men his age, but not obese. We never ate junk food all that much as kids, fast food was a treat and we had to pay for a can of pop (50 cents, and when your allowance is 4 or 5 dollars you don’t buy it too often) I never even had cavities until I was an adult.

I say all this to let you know that my dad doesn’t have the best healthy lifestyle but I would say on the range he is better than average yet he has cancer.

Then I thought about how my MIL is in her 60’s and had a piece of pizza after her episode. For any of you that have been around me you know that she had quadruple bypass surgery 8 days before our wedding, she is a brittle diabetic, and on the scale of healthy eating she is on the low side and then some. She also drinks diet pop all the time but she doesn’t have cancer.

This probably isn’t making much of any sense right now but all of this was a reality check for me to let me know I must get better and I am nowhere close to being finished. Now I may reach my current goal weight of 129 this week or at the very least by 1/15/09 but that will be a mile marker on a very long journey I must continue.

When you find out something like you have a parent that has cancer which can be a terminal the first thing you think is why. And I know why. I have tons of allergies. My dad has tons of allergies. My brother has tons of allergies and he has a child with tons of allergies. My grandmother, my father’s mother had tons of allergies. She also contracted meningitis and died right before her 65th birthday. When I was in 11th grade I got a cold every month for 5 months straight. I went home because I was vomiting once a month. I asked the Dr. to figure out what was wrong with me and fix it. He told me nothing’s wrong with you, you just have a weak immune system you keep catching colds. I had ulcers when I was 23. I have a weak immune system. My dad has a weak immune system.

Thankfully my dad is doing everything he can to boost his chances. He’s daily drinking and herbal tea that has had case studies on terminal cases that were cured and 4 of the main ingredients (according to what I researched on Wikipedia) starve cancers or help cancer patients in some way. Both him and my step-mom are dieting and changing more of their eating habits and they are taking organic vitamins, more antioxidants etc. etc.

And when I was over there my step-mom said to me, “Well if you start doing all this now hopefully you won’t have to do this later.” I went out and bought the super detoxifying tea on Saturday. If I use it once every three months to detox, maybe I won’t have to use it every day for a year sometime in the future to help with cancer.

And thus I will be here at sparkpeople for a long time after I weigh 129 because I have so much more to learn and do with this healthy lifestyle. I need to eat more fresh fruits and vegetables. I need to take more vitamins. I need to take more antioxidants. I need to plan healthier meals. I need to eat more organically grown food. I need to make Whole Foods my shopping center of choice rather than what is cheapest. I need to drink more tea. I need to do more ST. I need to make a lot more changes and I need to create a lot more habits.

So when I get to 129 I may have a small short-lived celebration but the journey continues.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOMFAN 1/4/2009 9:20PM

    Thanks for the wake up. All our parents and grandparents had huge health problems. I don't know if this will help, but have you consider you could possibly allergic to your water. We were doing all the healthy things, yet my daughter would routinely start throwing up every 3-6 weeks. I was beyond myself. We had already been researching water filters and saw a Dateline NBC program "Is Your Water Making You Sick?" We had just purchased one about 6 weeks before and realized that she had not been sick at all since then. They only time she would get sick was when she drank the water at church or a friends house. To this day she has carried a water filter with her all over the US and not had a problem. Blessings on you this New Year and I look forward to hearing you reached your goal. emoticon

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GINGER01604 12/29/2008 11:31AM

    Yes these things are HUGE eye opener for people. I will keep you and your family in my prayers and I hope the best. Just know that God wouldn't give you a cross you couldn't bare. If you need anything let me know.

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Why I don't celebrate the holidays and what the end of the year means to me

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Posted this on a board and thought I would save it as a blog as well.

There are three main reasons why we don't celebrate Christmas.
1. We try to pattern our congregations closely after the Christian congregation mentioned throughout the Christian-Greek Scriptures (New Testament) and there is no command to commemorate Jesus birth nor is there mention in the 98 years that we have record of therein that the early Christians celebrate it.

2. It is very common knowledge that Jesus was not born on December 25th and if it is not truly his birthday we do not know if he might actually be offended by it's celebration when it is inaccurate.

3. Most of the festivals and customs are Pagan (nonchristian) in origin and are derived from other religious customs. I believe when the modern organization of Jehovah's Witnesses was founded they did celebrate Christmas, in the late 1800's however after finding these things out they ceased to do so but I'm not sure in what year. Here are a few references I found on the subject:

Catholic Encyclopedia - Christmas

The Origins of Christmas (Christmas-time website)

The origines of Christmas & Easter - Christian Churches of God website (Some of the words are a little harsh in this so beware! Not from my organization!)


Here is an article from our website detailing how we feel about Jesus and his birth entitled a birth to be remembered.


As far as easter we don't celebrate it per se because it shares similarities with point 3 mentioned above there are too many nonchristian origins which one of the above links also points out.

However we do conmemorate his death every year as it is instructed in the bible. It is a wonderful holy day for us! We have a special evening of worship that day, we usually buy nice new clothes to attend and we go out to eat afterwards. We also read about the last days of Jesus life that week and reflect on what his death and resurrection means to us.


Since I don't celebrate these holidays I think I speak more freely with others that don't. I know people of all varying degrees. Those that know all the above information and still celebrate it. Those that celebrate it but cut out all the nonchristian aspects that they can. Or those that are not Jehovah's Witnesses that just chose not to celebrate it at all.

And I respect everyone else for the decision that they make. As long as there aren't any nonchristian aspects involved like a luncheon or a dinner where it is towards the end of the year I participate and consider it an appreciate or end of the year celebration for me. When people say Merry Christmas I simply say thank you I don't at all get offended and I respect all other opinions and decisions.

I am looking forward to the end of the year and resting with two days off the weeks of 12/22 and 12/29. I love how everyone is in a better mood and happy and in good spirits this time of the year.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PSFITMOMMY413 12/17/2008 3:01PM

    Very interesting...I love your message of tolerance and respect "And I respect everyone else for the decision that they make" I wish that everyone felt this way towards each other's beliefs.

Enjoy your two days off this winter!

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Mid-Month update! Run through the finish line!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

So I’ve done pretty well this month but I need to step up my cardio. My eating has been great! I’ve been improvising due to financial issues so my nutrients and veggies are not where they should be but when I go grocery shopping on Friday I’ll be back on track.

I really need to concentrate on getting my cardio up and keeping it up. It is the only way I will hit my goal weight. I have lost some of my wedding weight just one more lb to go and a couple more to my goal weight! I know I can do it!

I thought of a good analogy because I seem to lose steam towards the end of the month. But this time I will run through the finish line! I ran track sprints and they always stressed us running as hard as we can through the finish line and then leaning, to get in every inch. I remember one time I ran and leaned so hard I fell and bounced off the track! But I won the race, 1st place. I need to remember and apply that to not slow down in fact push harder when the end of the month comes around! And that’s what I am determined to do this month. Run through the end if the finish line!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DACNER00 12/18/2008 1:33PM

    I know you can do it! Good luck! emoticon

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GINGER01604 12/17/2008 1:39PM

    I know that you can do this! You will be great and you will finish the month off strong!

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