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Finding Light in the Darkness

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Nothing makes you appreciate the little things in life more than suddenly being without them. I'm determined that this is NOT going to be a whiny blog. Instead, my mood is beginning to improve a little now that I'm three weeks post-op. I'm still stuck at home with my wheelchair, but I go back to my doctor tomorrow and I'm hoping he'll release me to go back to work. At least I'd be able to get out of this house on a regular basis and that would be a good thing.

I've always heard that everything happens for a reason. I've spent the last month struggling to understand what could possibly be the reason for this injury? Maybe one day I'll figure it out for sure, or maybe I already have. Maybe I'm learning to appreciate the positive things in my life instead of dwelling on the negative.

We go through our every day lives and most of us never stop to think about how blessed we truly are. When I had my elective surgery in February I was only on crutches three weeks before I was allowed to walk on my heel. My broken leg will now keep me off of it completely for six to eight weeks. I find myself in a wheelchair rolling around my house, trying to figure out how to reach things in my kitchen (I've gotten pretty good at locking my chair and standing on one leg), rolling into my laundry room and doing laundry, bathing in an entirely different way, and knowing I can't jump in my car and go anywhere I want. Some days I get extremely frustrated, but one thing is for sure, I am learning to appreciate the little things in life more than I ever have.

When it comes to my ability to walk around with ease, I don't think I'll ever again take that for granted. I've always been thankful for the things I did have in my life, but now I wake up every morning and I thank God for those blessings. I thank Him for my family and friends who are here for me. My boys would do anything I asked to help me out, but the truth is I need to be useful. I actually found myself vacuuming yesterday from my wheelchair. It was interesting and it took a lot longer than usual, but I did it. It makes me feel better when I can accomplish something, anything, each day.

One thing I do miss right now that I can't yet do anything about is my grand-dog. My son and his wife have a pit bull. He is a big baby who truly loves everyone, but he is also 65 pounds of muscle. When he sees me (or anyone) he gets so excited, so they're afraid that in his excitement he might jump on me and my leg and possibly hurt it more. I have only seen him once since my accident, and that was when they held him on the other side of a baby gate so I could wheel up to it and pet him. It was great because I got lots of kisses from him. Sahara is also missing him terribly because she adores him and loves playing with him. I really look forward to the day when I can take the two of them back outside and play with them.


Heinlein and Sahara on my couch. No, neither of them are supposed to be on the furniture, but they had played so hard that day and were both exhausted. I couldn't bring myself to wake them up and make them get down.

Bottom line is, try not to take the little things for granted. Every day, when you open your eyes in the morning, try to appreciate what you do have and be thankful for another day. I now feel so much more blessed in my life.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CYBERCITYSHELL 8/25/2014 12:39AM

    I love your positive attitude Cindy. Be careful though not to do any more injuries to yourself. The sooner you are back on your feet the sooner you can get out and about emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Sahara is a little sweetie, she must give you lots of love. And Heinlein sure looks a big bundle of energy.

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ILOVEMALI 8/24/2014 1:28PM

  Have a full (and speedy!) recovery!

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CELLA_P 8/23/2014 7:26PM

    I'm so sorry you've had to go through this orthopedic surgery (perhaps some of the most difficult from which to heal, and involving the most pain at times, too emoticon ) but hopefully, you'll soon be close to feeling like your former self. All the best as you continue to improve...which I'm sure you will. Those doggies surely miss you, too! emoticon emoticon

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_JODI404 8/20/2014 5:45PM

    I'm glad you are looking for, and finding the positives in this situation.

I appreciate your bottom line conclusion:

" try not to take the little things for granted. Every day, when you open your eyes in the morning, try to appreciate what you do have and be thankful for another day. I now feel so much more blessed in my life."

I always take away a much deeper sense of gratitude for my health after I've been sick. For my health/fitness after I've been injured. It's very easy to take things for granted -- especially little things. Sometimes it's those little things that mean the most.

I do hope you it went well at the Dr. and you are able to get out of the house, and back to work. I know it's hard to slow down when it's against your nature.
Way to go for seeing all the blessings!!

Love & light to you!
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SHESMITH1 8/20/2014 3:00PM

    What a wonderful outlook you've developed. It appears that a major lesson gleaned is knowing that we don't have to have all the answers and understand all the reasons - we just have to accept it as part of a greater plan and roll with it. Quite an accomplishment, Miss Cindy!
Speaking of rolling..., I think my house will accommodate a wheelchair and vacuum cleaner - come on over!

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GOLFGMA 8/20/2014 7:02AM

    Cindy, Have to say how happy I am that you have faith. We will never know the reasons for things that have been dealt to us in life, however, we do know God is in control and knows us better than we know ourselves. We are reminded of Romans 8:28 and trust in God's word. Praying that your days improve and that soon you will be back at work and PLAY! Thank you for this blog filled with inspiration for all of us. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SLIMMERJESSE 8/20/2014 12:03AM

    Wishing you better days.

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LIVINGFREE19 8/19/2014 11:56PM

    This is another well written blog of yours, Cindy! You have such a knack for writing.

I love the pic of the 2 dogs! It is wonderful that they get along so well.

I hope and pray that you can get out of the house, and get healed up so you can go to work!

Big (((HUGS))), Cindy!

~Denise


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SUSANNAH31 8/19/2014 11:12PM

    You are able to find the silver lining to your longer convalescence with your foot this time -- and it says a lot about you as a person.

It's true there is nothing like losing something to make us appreciate it even more.
And you are right - we do take for granted so many good things in life.

Thanks for reminding us. We are all guilty of forgetting it.



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WORLDSERIES11 8/19/2014 3:42PM

    Way to make lemonade out of lemons Cindy!! Great attitude, thanks for sharing your thoughts, they are beautiful. Hang in there, praying for your continued good recovery:-)
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LINDAKAY228 8/19/2014 3:31PM

    Very well written! As you know I've learned some of these things too over the past 9 months. Because of the stroke, I still have a lot of balance problems and my right hand shakes. I have to do so many things different than I did before and watch how I do them. At least I'm not on a walker anymore like I was for a while LOL. When my mom was alive and in a wheelchair and I took her out places, I learned how many talked to me and ignored her (nothing wrong with her mind, it was osteoporosis that put her in the wheelchair) and other things about how "handicapped" are treated. I'm like you, I learn to do things differently but I still do them. At least to the best of my ability ha ha. I know what you're going through now is so hard since you are so active but I also know you are learning so much from it. My mom broke her femur (the long bone in the thigh) and because of the osteoporosis it didn't heal well and after she broke it she ended up in a wheelchair all the time for the last 9 or so months of her life. We learn to be thankful in all kinds of things. Thank goodness you will heal and not have her kinds of problems for the rest of your life. But you are doing awesome and you will be back to doing things you love, but with a whole new awareness!

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NOLAHORSERIDER 8/19/2014 11:52AM

    You all got crutches? and a Wheel Chair? Jeez all I had was a walker. I was laid up for several weeks due to knee injuries. I love your blog! It is just so enlightening! I too have learned to appreciate the small things! I have always been an active person and the last few years....well, lets just say I only went to work and came home to sleep! I didn't exercise, ate what I wanted and didn't really care about my appearance... Then one morning, I awoke and found out that wow my knee is popping! So I held the knee cap and kept bending and straightening it and all of a sudden it popped super loud and Bam!! I was in excruciating pain! Yup! Tore my meniscus.. I hobbled around for nearly a year before I actually did anything about it! I was too busy with work and crying in my beer (so to speak, I don't drink). After a long bout of pain I finally went and got it taken care of, then eventually had to have a total knee.. Had pain for over 3 years all total.. I became closer to God, thanked him for another day and got on with my life! However, that didn't' stop me from eating all that junk and not exercising! It should have been a wake-up call, but it wasn't. Now my other knee is going! I will not have surgery, I am eating well, exercising and losing the terrible weight that I gained over the years.. Slowly but surely. I appreciate the days I have no pain and can walk to the mailbox, or sit here at the computer more and more each day! As the weight comes off, so does some of the pain. I will always have the bone on bone pain, but at least the other parts aren't hurting! Thank God!!
Keep pushing toward your goals and NEVER GIVE UP!
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ODAT1117 8/19/2014 11:25AM

    ....aaaaaaannnnnnnddddd...........y
ou have found one of the reasons for the injury. And maybe part of it, too, is for your sons to appreciate YOU more and spend more time with you. What a blessing THAT is!!! Maybe the lesson isn't for you. Maybe it's for others. :-)

I do totally understand what you mean, though, about needing to be useful. I've been on crutches for extended periods of time in my life due to injuries and surgeries. SO frustrating to be incapacitated and not able to do anything. The worst time was when I was a single mom but it worked out perfectly because my then 9 year old had just gotten out of the hospital and being laid up allowed me to stay home (for a MONTH!!!) and help her. It also allowed the family to take the focus off of her and gave her lots of things to do to keep busy and to not focus on her illness at the time. Yes, it all happens for a reason.

You have a great positive attitude and that serves you very well. You'll get through this just like everything else. I'm sending you patience and strength and faith. :-)

Hang in there!!!

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Post-Op

Friday, August 08, 2014

First, I want to thank everyone for all the nice notes, comments and goodies you've sent my way. It's been ten days since my surgery, and I had my first post-op appointment this morning. I was really pretty pumped up hoping they would let me return to work with my wheelchair. After all, you can only watch so many hours of TV before you begin to go numb. Unfortunately, my return to work has been postponed until at least my next follow-up on August 20th. Oh no, another 12 days of Netflix!!!!!! emoticon

I spent the first few days after surgery mostly sleeping. After that I had to stop taking the pain meds because that's what was making me sleep. Once awake, there has been nothing to do except watch TV. Can you overdose on television? If so, I think I already have. By the way, if anyone has a ROKU device and wants to know what shows are on it, just let me know. I've become quite the expert!

I'm not usually a depressed type of person, but I have to admit that the last ten days have been pretty bad. I'm usually a pretty independent person, so being stuck at home, unable to drive, and completely dependent on everyone else is really driving me nuts. My boys are really doing all they can to help, but it's just me. I hate not being able to do for myself. Cliff came home from work yesterday and caught me in the kitchen (got there in my wheelchair) standing on one leg trying to unload the clean dishes from the dishwasher. He promptly took over the job which, quite frankly, made me a little angry, but I know he meant well. I'm trying really hard to keep a positive attitude, but the longer I'm stuck at home, the harder it is.

Anyway, enough whining. Had surgery on the 29th and according to my doctor (Cliff spoke to him after surgery) all went well. He did, however, find a small fourth fracture which required a longer incision than he originally planned. I am now the proud owner of a lot of very expensive hardware. One of my good friends calls it my bionic leg and foot! For your viewing pleasure, here is a picture from one of the x-rays they took this morning to make sure everything has stayed in place. As you can see in the pic, I have a long plate and 12 screws in my leg. Yep, I'll never make it through airport security again without a strip search!



Poor little Sahara doesn't understand why I won't get up and play with her, but she is a patient little girl and lays beside me most of the time. I owe her lots of walks when I am back on both feet.

For now, all I can do is try to be patient and wait. Hopefully I'll be able to return to work after my next appointment.

Hope you all have a great weekend!


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUSANNAH31 8/14/2014 6:38AM

    I am glad your surgery went well. I totally understand about not being able to get around and DO things!

My husband and I just got a ROKU recently - and we have been busy watching some TV series that we hadn't seen earlier: House of Cards, Breaking Bad, and The Wire. The Wire is an excellent series -- almost like a sociological study of inner city life among the drug culture, the police force, and politicians.

I hope you will be more mobile soon.





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_JODI404 8/9/2014 11:09PM

    Wow....that X-ray!!! OMG, you *really* did a number on that leg & foot.

I'm sorry it's taking longer to heal than you had hoped. I'm sure it's uncomfortable to be dependent on others.... but thank goodness you have loved ones there to help you!

This too shall pass ~~ quickly -- I hope!!

Continue to take good care!!

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LINDAKAY228 8/9/2014 11:03AM

    I know it's so hard! I'm also one that likes to do everything for myself. After I had a stroke, and had to stay with my oldest son for several months since I was in a different state, it was so hard on me. I was used to being the one who had the place and others came and stayed with me (sometimes I didn't want them there! Like my two daughters. Allowed it because of grandkids) Then I went for 6 weeks to visit a friend in California and we had a great time, but again I was at someone else's house and neither would let me give them money for staying with them. It was extremely hard. And at first, in the hospitals, I couldn't do anything. In the hospitals (first in Phoenix then in Dallas) for 5 weeks I couldn't even go to the bathroom by myself. In the first hospital I could get by with it sometimes but in the second they had an alarm system on the bed that would go off if I tried to get out unless one of the therapies came to get me and turned the alarm off for that period, then turned it back on. They had yellow socks we had to wear if we were not allowed to get up on our own. They were so afraid of falls and damage to my head or something again. Blue socks meant I could get out of bed in my room but couldn't leave the room alone. I finally got the blue socks about 3 days before leaving the hospital and was so happy to have them! I felt like I was on a rock and sharks were circling around my rock (bed) waiting to get me if I tried to get out! Now I'm in my own apartment and can do more of what I want. I can also drive although I had to take a driving test in Texas since I'd had a stroke even though I had a valid New Mexico license. Part of this says many of really do understand how hard this is and what you are going through. The other part is to remind you it will come to an end, even though is seems so far away, and you'll be back doing the things you love. It seems like forever when you are going through it, but it's really not. So hang in there! I also know how sleepy those pain pills make you! In the first hospital they gave me a lot and I'm not sure how much I slept because at first I had difficulty with my vision because of the brain bleed, how much was because my glasses broke in the stroke and getting new glasses in the hospital is impossible, and how much was due to meds. Thankfully I got my eyes checked in the few hours we had between leaving one hospital, getting on a plane (I couldn't walk through the scanner then and had to go through the whole search thing in my wheelchair) and getting off the plane and a deadline to check into the Dallas hospital. And now things are much more what I want them to be! Just be patient, hang in there and soon you'll be getting around! Good thing you got this taken care of. Best wishes as you get bored out of your skull right now!

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GOLFGMA 8/9/2014 7:23AM

    Cindy, glad the surgery is over and all went well. I totally understand how hard it is not being able to do the things you want to. Went through some months in 2007 waiting for surgery and then the time of relying on others to drive me to rehab for the physical therapy afterward. Glad you have Netflix and hopefully computer games to help with the boredom. The photo of your new bionic leg does look like a strong one now. Praying the time will fly by until the 20th and that the good news will come then. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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REMEMBER2BME 8/9/2014 6:36AM

    Wonderful to hear from you. I am so glad surgery went well, Quite a bit of recovery to go through. Yikes. I wish I had some advise.

Is there anything you can study up on. Like building a shed (LOL). I am researching the roof now. LOL OR maybe you want your Project management certification. Again, not too funny but you get my point. These are things that take time and effort but have a real outcome.

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WORLDSERIES11 8/9/2014 1:27AM

    Wow, that's quite a new ankle!! Hang in there Cindy! Glad you're healing ok.
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LIVINGFREE19 8/8/2014 10:21PM

    You poor thing, having to stay home for so long and can't go anywhere on your own. I can so feel your pain and sadness.

I hope and pray that you feel better soon, Cindy!

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KNEEMAKER 8/8/2014 9:23PM

  Keep on keeping on! emoticon

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ODAT1117 8/8/2014 8:04PM

    WOW!!! That is some serious hardware!!

I hope you can find some good distractions that won't kill too many brain cells until you can go back to work. :-) Maybe you could work on memorizing all the Spark People articles in their library. ;-)

Hang in there!

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ALIHIKES 8/8/2014 6:32PM

    Best wishes for a full recovery!

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Deja Vu

Saturday, July 26, 2014

I remember now how much I started hating my bedroom, the television, sleeping . . . when I had my surgery back in February. Now I feel like I'm in an episode of the Twilight Zone as I sit here, once again, staring at a black TV screen with just the word ROKU moving randomly around the screen. Every now and then I go back and find something else to watch on Netflix or Hulu or one of the other channels on there. Heck, I've even watched a few Twilight Zone episodes! I have DIRECTV, but there sure isn't anything on there I want to watch. I really don't even like TV that much, but my entertainment options are pretty limited right now. Guess I need to have someone dig out some books that I haven't had the time to read.

I went to see my orthopedic surgeon yesterday. Of course it had to be the same surgeon that operated on me in February. He walked into the examining room, looked at me and said, "You know, you really didn't have to go break a bunch of bones to come back and see me." emoticon Yea, at least he made me laugh. That was just before he commented on what a heck of job I did at breaking these bones. He says I need a plate and screws to stabilize one of them. I already knew that was coming from talking to the ER personnel at the hospital, but I still didn't want to hear it. Surgery is now scheduled for Thursday.

After that, I suppose I will become much better at using this ROKU that my son put on my TV months ago. Besides some movies and old TV shows I've watched, I've also found one good series that I've started watching. It's not a replacement for kayaking, hiking or biking, but those are not options right now. I'll settle for what I have.

Thankfully I have a great bunch of co-workers who are being very understanding. I hate to leave them short-staffed, so hopefully he'll let me go back to work in just a few weeks with a wheelchair. I'd actually rather be there than stuck in my house unable to drive or go anywhere.

Enough whining for now. I hope you're all having a great weekend. If you get outside, enjoy some sunshine for me.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIVINGFREE19 7/27/2014 11:00PM

    So sorry you have such pain, Cindy. I am also sorry to hear how bored you are.
I hope the doctor lets you go back to work sooner, like you want.

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CHEBBA 7/27/2014 7:28PM

    Foot pain is horrid. I really do wish you luck and a good recovery when the surgery happens. I have such painful feet - have seen a consultant who said it was arthritis and prescribed me custom-moulded hard rubber orthotics but it means I have to live in trainers. Well, that's not always possible and in any case, I feel like Forrest Gump when I wear them. I've soldiered on with the excruciating pain, even though every step on the 'dreadmill' hurts. Now, my cousin, who is a pharmacist assistant and know a bit about a lot of medical conditions, says she doesn't think I've got arthritis at all! My joints don't hurt, it's these two huge painful bumps on the bone on the tops of my feet , over the arch/instep. They look horrid and the pain can be ghastly. I researched 'images' on my computer, saw pix of what I've got, saw a podiatrist and now I'm going to a specialist in 3 days time, to see if it's what I think it is, 'saddle bone deformity', which means that an op may be feasible and it would remove the pain!! Oh how wonderful it would be to be pain-free! Yes, I really do sympathise with you. Hurty feet make everything else much worse. Good Luck! xx

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SHESMITH1 7/27/2014 7:13PM

    I think we all need to pitch in and buy you some high top brogans!

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LINDAKAY228 7/27/2014 4:29PM

    It really does stink being stuck there and I know what you mean about tv. Now that I'm living in Arlington, TX, I just have an indoor antenna and get the major channels, ION, and some others. I get more that are Spanish, religious, or paid ads all the time but took those off. I've seen some old shows I haven't seen in ages, like the FLying Nun, Mr Ed, etc. But I had gotten burned out on tv and have it only mainly for background noise when I'm on the computer. I didn't see that much on that I couldn't get this way to pay for cable or satellite tv. I do have Netflix, and if I fall asleep in the evening (early riser) I was it on my computer. When I had the stroke, and was in the hospital for almost 5 weeks much of that time my eyes were really messed up and also my glasses got broke when I had the stroke. Try getting new glasses in the hospital ha ha!!! But even with my computer glasses I had a lot of problems till my eyes stabilized. So when I was stuck in bed I couldn't watch tv, I could only listen to it. I know how bored you must be and why being at work would be easier! Good luck with the surgery. I'm so sorry you have to go through all this. Hopefully all will heal well and before you really know it you'll be back to the things you love! And thanks so much for the goodie!!

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REMEMBER2BME 7/27/2014 4:10PM

    My goodness. Best of luck to you. I'll have to send you some shows. HUGS!

Just thought of something else, maybe when you are up to it, you can find work out video's for upper body so you can still get in some "activity". Just a thought.
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Comment edited on: 7/27/2014 4:11:38 PM

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GOLFGMA 7/27/2014 8:07AM

    Praying for your comfort as you heal and my offer is good for any way I can help. Please continue to keep us up to date on progress and keep this great attitude you always have . emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NELLIEC 7/27/2014 12:10AM

    Oh, my, I am not someone who enjoys TV very much either. I watch the news and that is about it.

I am praying for your quick healing!

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HICKOK-HALEY 7/26/2014 10:24PM

    I will be thinking of you. Hope it heals quickly! emoticon

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Can't believe I did this!

Thursday, July 24, 2014



Does this look familiar? Nope, it is not another picture from my surgery in February, even though it looks almost the same. My son and I were working on some home renovations yesterday. Without going into the long story of how I did this, I dislocated my ankle and broke it in three places. Going to see my orthopedic surgeon in the morning. I can't believe I actually did this, but nothing I can do now except make the best of a bad situation. I'm just thankful that Cliff was with me because I don't think I could have gotten up out of the floor. I think the pain is actually beginning to ease a little since I can wait longer between pain meds. Trying hard to stay awake, but the meds make me so sleepy.

Hope you all have a great weekend!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHESMITH1 7/27/2014 7:12PM

    Oh nooooooooo!!! Please let me know if I can do anything! I'll send my phone number in a spark message.
Take care~

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HICKOK-HALEY 7/26/2014 10:22PM

    I'm glad Cliff was there too. I know that was painful. I pray for a speedy recovery!

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LINDAKAY228 7/26/2014 7:27PM

    I'm a little behind in reading and all I can say is oh no!!! That's awful. The one good thing (besides help being readily available) is that you got to have that awesome canoe trip before this happened. It would have been twice as bad if this had kept you from that. I know how sleepy those pain meds can make you! Take care, rest, post when you can and take care of yourself!

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DONNASPRIDE 7/26/2014 3:22PM

    Oh my goodness, sounds like me. speedy recovery

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SUSANNAH31 7/26/2014 11:06AM

    Wishing you a rapid recovery.

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_JODI404 7/25/2014 9:57PM

    Oh my goodness. NO!!!!

Well, you are handling this really well. Acceptance. The key to the least stressful path.

I hope that your recovery will go well and that your pain is managed well and diminishes quickly.

So glad Cliff was there for you!!

Take good care!!!

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THINAGIN2 7/25/2014 12:13PM

    So sorry that this has happened! I hope that you mend quickly!
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ODAT1117 7/25/2014 7:37AM

    WHAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTT??????!!!!!!!!!!
! :-(

Oh I HATE when that happens!!!! Been there DONE THAT. Dang it. Just super grateful that you had someone with you because you are right. You probably would not have been able to get yourself up and to the doc. So, uh, that was good injury planning on your part!! ha ha!!

Oh man, now the long recovery and 'changed forever' to deal with. So crappy!!! I guess it's REALLY good you already did that kayak trip. :-)

Oh, thinking of you, my Spark Friend. And in case you didn't already know, there is a team for recovering from injury.

HANG IN THERE (safely, please!) and keep us posted!

I hope you don't need either of these emoticon emoticon
and that you get to wear a boot instead of a non-removable cast.

So, be a swashbuckling conquering emoticon in your recovery and go kick some recovery butt!!! emoticon

;-)

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GOLFGMA 7/25/2014 7:35AM

    I am speechless! I believe you when you say "nothing to do now but make the most of it". If there is anything at all I can do for you please call me. Hopefully you still have my number from our hiking trip, if not, send Sparkmail.

Fear thou not ; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41: 10

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REMEMBER2BME 7/25/2014 6:58AM

    Oh my goodness. I am so glad your DS was there. I remember when I fractured my food over 15 years ago in an accident. For a time I was not sure I could handle the pain. It hurt so badly. Glad you have good meds.

I hate to say, I look forward to the story. if you did it, I bet I could do it. LOL. HUGS! I sure hope you feel better soon.

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WORLDSERIES11 7/25/2014 2:29AM

    Owww!! The same foot? Take it easy and hope you feel better soon!
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SLIMMERJESSE 7/25/2014 12:17AM

    Ouch! Yikes! Wishing you fast healing.

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LIVINGFREE19 7/25/2014 12:11AM

    Oh how sad! Life is so unpredictable. I hope you recover in record time Cindy!

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KNEEMAKER 7/24/2014 11:19PM

  There are always set backs for all of us on Life's Journey. Please know that you can keep on keeping on. Rest up and get well then get back going to reach your goals. Believe and achieve. You can do it. Your blog indicates that deep inside of you, you are a real winner. Plus you have the uncanny ability to inspire others. Most people would give up. Not you! You let everyone know what happened and we all know what is next. You will be up and going again as soon as humanly possible. Thanks and I wish you a speedy recovery and a blessed life. emoticon

Comment edited on: 7/24/2014 11:22:33 PM

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NELLIEC 7/24/2014 11:12PM

    Oowwwwww! I am praying for your healing!

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EVIE4NOW 7/24/2014 9:52PM

  Hope you mend quickly.

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A Day Best Forgotten

Sunday, July 20, 2014

I'm glad July 19th has come to an end and July 20th has finally arrived. It was a tough day. It was one year to the day when my husband passed away and I lost my best friend in the world.

Tommy used to love to post pictures of beautiful nature scenes on his Facebook page and he would always caption them "God's Creations". I thought yesterday about how he was one of God's amazing creations and what a huge loss it was when he left this life, but what a wonderful gain for heaven.

I went Friday afternoon and put new flowers on Tommy's grave along with a mini replica of the memory flag I took with me on vacation. In some ways it was hard to believe that a year had already passed, yet at times it seems like an eternity since I've heard his laugh.





I decided to keep myself busy yesterday by working on my bathroom renovations. I figured that would take my mind off of everything. My boys were here to help me and we were moving right along until we realized we need some additional parts for plumbing. Jeremy and I took off in my car heading for Home Depot to buy the needed parts. Unfortunately, on our way there we were stopped at a red light when we were rear-ended by a pickup truck. At first I was really upset because that car was the one that Tommy actually wanted and he loved it. After a few minutes, I realized how upset the young man was that hit us. He was only 16 years old and just got his license last month. To make matters worse, his father showed up and appeared pretty upset with him. I actually felt bad for him and went back to his truck to tell him to try not to worry about it, that both of my boys did the same thing when they were 16 years old. I hope he's not in too much trouble at home because he really did seem like a nice young man.


My poor little car!

My stepson came over later to help us on our bathroom also. It was good to be with him because I know he was also trying to deal with the anniversary of his Dad's passing. We had pizza and it was nice to be together. Still, I'm glad the day is over. Today is a new day. Now I'm off to get some much needed rest.

I hope you all have a wonderful Sunday and week ahead!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CYBERCITYSHELL 8/25/2014 12:15AM

    I am just catching up on a few of your blogs Cindy. It must have been a sad day on the 19th, a year later. I hope that it gets a little less sad as time goes on . emoticon

You handled that little bump by the young driver so well. And very thoughtfully. emoticon Young people have to start somewhere, and crashing must have been a blow to him. As well as a preview of what is to come being on the road and having to be responsible enough to handle having an accident. There is so much we have to learn on our road through life. And in the early days of being old enough to do something, but young to have to life up to the responsibility it must be hard. Todays young people have a different world ahead of them, that is not always easy. Sometimes adults can be blind to what it is like to be a young person who makes mistakes. You were so thoughtful and caring to consider his situation emoticon .
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ODAT1117 7/25/2014 7:41AM

    My, what a week you have had. I hope your boys can set you up with some good distractions now that you are laid up with a bum foot. Maybe they can get you some puzzles or new books or movies.

Hang in there!!

Oh, and I LOVE the miniflag!! I'll just bet that made Tommy smile and I know he is wishing he could be with you now, especially to help with your foot/ankle injury.

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YOGIMARIE 7/21/2014 7:41AM

    emoticon

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LIVINGFREE19 7/20/2014 10:25PM

    It is so hard to believe it has been a year since Tommy's passing! You are so strong in dealing with all that you have had to deal with, Cindy. I wish I could give you a big hug!
I hope you have a really great week!
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CHEBBA 7/20/2014 6:09PM

    I have not, yet, lost any people who are that close to me - even my parents are still both alive at almost 93 and 88! However, I think that the 1-year anniversary is something of a Rubicon, and after that the human psyche seems a little better able to move forward. Every anniversary will be difficult, but the first one is, I suspect, the worst.

You are a strong lady and Tommy is still with you in so many ways. He will make sure you are OK, he'll be watching over you - just as he was when that poor kid ran into the back of your car. Poor lad. But you were all unhurt, which is the main thing! Yup, Tommy was guarding you, for sure!

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_JODI404 7/20/2014 3:05PM

    Angel anniversaries are very hard!!

You did a great job keeping busy and in good company with your sons.

You were sweet to be so kind the the teenager who hit you.

I'm glad this date is behind you! So much better to remember the life than the loss.... but on anniversaries it seems impossible.

Sending you a BIG hug!

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REMEMBER2BME 7/20/2014 11:24AM

    Beautifully written blog and what an absolutely beautiful resting place. Lastly, outstanding perspective. You are amazing. Human yet amazing.
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LINDAKAY228 7/20/2014 9:22AM

    I know it was a day that was so hard for you and the boys because anniversary days of a death area, whether they are the date of the death or the person's birthday or anniversary or some other special day in their life. And it will cause you pain and to think of him more. But I believe he would be so proud of you and not mourning with you. Just get through them the best you can and it often helps to be able to talk for those days and share memories of him together Also do things like you're done. Anyway I wish I was there to give you a big hug and help you in whatever way you need it. All I can do is send thoughts and prayers your way. I can't believe it's been a year already either!

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EMPTYNESTER60 7/20/2014 9:17AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon from one who's been there. It will get better - but it doesn't go away - and it shouldn't. Someone who is that special in our lives will always be special in our lives and I'm glad you had your family around you to share the memories that you all together. emoticon

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GOLFGMA 7/20/2014 6:23AM

    Your blog is so full of what we call "life". Sadness you experienced with the loss of your dear "Tommy" here on earth, but happiness knowing Tommy loved his God and was ready for his eternal home. God has given you amazing strength to make it a whole year when you probably thought you wouldn't without Tommy. So happy your boys were with you and supporting you on a day they knew you needed them. Hate that your car got bumped. They can fix that in a day. A deer got me this year but they fixed it just fine at Tuttle's in King. Continue being the strong woman you are! emoticon

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HICKOK-HALEY 7/20/2014 4:38AM

    I doesn't seem like a year. I think you handled the day beautifully, and I am so glad all of the boys were there to help you. Sorry about the accident . The dent doesn't look too bad. I'm with you, I feel for the kid. Love the flowers you put at the grave site. I know it put a smile on Tommie's face! Hugs my friend!
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WORLDSERIES11 7/20/2014 2:01AM

    emoticon emoticon

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ZRIE014 7/20/2014 12:55AM

  i hope that you have a good weekend

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