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A Moment of Truth

Thursday, March 13, 2014

As many of you know last year I had a major set back. I was down under 200 lbs for the first time in probably 15 or so years. I felt great, I looked great and I had fantastically normal blood work results and blood pressure. I was full of energy and highly motivated to continue being a healthier me.

Then comes the trouble. You see when I was 19 years old *1996* I was raped. I got pregnant. I gave that baby girl up for adoption because at the time I had a 5 month old son that I was trying to raise, living with my parents, my father was dying of cancer. Shortly after she was born , I fell down a flight of stairs *1997* and landed on my knee. I was too poor and stubborn to go to a doctor. That injury progressively got worse until I could no longer walk and required surgical intervention *2008*. In the meantime I gained weight steadily over the years. I was up to 260 lbs at one time in 2011.

So fast forward to 2013. In May I was weighing in at 195 lbs. I met my daughter for the first time. Her adoptive parents brought her down to Florida to meet me and my family, including my son. It went fairly well, although there were some traumatic issues of her wanting to and meeting her "father" and it brought back all the old nightmares. Many nights of my husband holding me and soothing me after I woke up screaming followed. But we had a dream vacation planned, a week in Seattle followed by a week on a cruise in Alaska. So I focused on that. That was an awesome trip, until I fell down steps on the dance floor and landed on my knee again and broke it. So as you may have noticed I was feeling like my life had hit rewind, like some kind of Groundhogs Day where I was reliving the most traumatic events of my life. (Also, instead of my father dying, it was my grandmother, the other blood relative in my life who I was dearly close to and was always looking out for me)

I tried to fight through the blows. I said I wouldn't let it defeat me. I said that I didn't handle it all well the first time, but I'm older now, more mature, I did it once and I can do it again. But now here we are March 13, 2014. I had my second knee surgery August 16, 2013. Even though my knee is mostly fine for walking and exercising, I haven't been. I allowed myself to get lazy and depressed. I am back up to, currently 235.8 lbs. The good news is that on January 2, 2014 I was at 235.0 lbs so I haven't really lost any more ground this year. I've found a place where I can hold steady. Which is actually not so bad since we've been eating out a LOT.

February 1-2, 2014 my husband and I took a beginner's motorcycle course together. He turned 50 this year, even though he didn't have a birthday (Feb 29, leap year baby). He used to ride motorcycles 20+ years ago and has been wanting one for the 17 years we've been together. After all he's done for me and been through for me, I am so happy that we are able to fulfill his wish. We both passed the course and 2 days later purchased 2 used motorcycles, his and hers bikes.

So now I have motivation to lose weight again. It's difficult for me to get on the back of his motorcycle, because I am out of shape, but I enjoy it so much, so I need to work out to regain my flexibility in my legs. Also my back gets tired and hurts after about an hour of riding. I know that if I am in better shape and strengthen my core, I can do more. I want to wear my smaller jeans again too and look better. It's also easier to manage the bikes when you weigh less. They just handle better with less weight on them.

Today is the start of a new Biggest Loser challenge. It's our spring challenge time and I know that if I stay active on the team, and do all the challenges that I will lose weight. So here's to a fresh start, a new beginning, and a new challenge. Go Team Emerald!

Today IS the first day of the rest of my life.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GERTMCD 3/20/2014 1:59PM

    Thinking of you! You can do it! emoticon

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AQUAGIRL08 3/15/2014 5:31PM

    You can do it! emoticon emoticon

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EMMACORY 3/13/2014 9:57PM

    Boy...you certainly have had your share of life challenges. I am glad you got the motorcycles....sometimes a new hobby is all that we need to get ourselves motivated and moving again. Enjoy your Emerald challenge....from a Lemon team member.. emoticon

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YENDUCHAKA 3/13/2014 4:18PM

    Wow, I had no idea you've had so many hard knocks in your life. Your positive attitude is a true testament to the kind of person you are and how well you rely on God. I wish you the best with your Biggest Loser Challenge!
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SWAYDE 3/13/2014 2:21PM

    Thank you Pook, you have no idea how much of an inspiration you continue to be for me and have been through the past few years! I truly appreciate your friendship =)

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POOKASLUAGH 3/13/2014 2:02PM

    It's good to see you posting again. I'm sorry you had to relive all those old nightmares, and practically go through them again as well! :( We're here for you!

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Biggest Loser Summer Challenge!

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Come join in the fun of this challenge =) I've met some wonderful friends with my Emerald team. They are so encouraging and the weekly challenges and accountability really help me to stay focused and on track.


www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_mes
sageboard_thread.asp?board=0x25339x523
69176

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLUEROSE73 5/16/2013 9:05AM

    It's awesome that you found a great challenge with such supportive people. Enjoy. I'm already on a challenge of my own. Be sure to post your successes/struggles. Have a great day!

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A 66 Day Plan

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

I have 66 days until my husband and I fly to Seattle to see the sights, visit family and then set sail on a 7-day Alaskan Inner Passage cruise. I have been looking forward to this vacation for close to 2 years. I want to be in the best shape physically as possible. I don't want to miss out on a single thing because I am too tired, too out of shape. There's a LOT to see and do and it's a pretty physical type of vacation.

As of this morning my weight was 200.4 lbs. I want to lose 15 pounds between now and May 24. That's less than 2 lbs per week which is very much doable, but it's going to take some major effort on my part. I was down to 195 one day last month and was 197 on February 16, the day we left for our impromptu 2 weeks vacation in California. Unfortunately eating out 3 meals a day for 12 days really set me back even though I did make an effort to be active, even breaking my daily steps total by hitting over 25,000 steps in a single day. I was back up to 205 when I weighed in March 1.

So in order to achieve this goal I am going to...

1) Get in at least 10,000 steps per day. Definitely will try for more and really push instead of just hitting 10k and then stopping and vegging out the rest of the day like I tend to do.

2) Consume a minimum of 12 glasses of water per day.

3) Prepare as many meals myself as I possibly can to stay within my calorie range. I will avoid eating out as much as possible. There will be a couple of events that I will need to be careful of, but as long as I keep it to those special days only... Mom's birthday, Aunt & Uncle's 50th wedding anniversary, Hubby's spring company barbecue day at Busch Gardens... then I should be okay.

4) Strength Training... this is so hard for me for some reason even though I know that it really makes a difference. I need to work in sit ups, push ups, planks, hand weights, resistance bands. I have the tools and the know-how, but I need to actually DO IT.

5) Time to get over my fear and unwrap the Jillian Michael's 30-Day Shred DVD that I purchased a year, or more ago and USE IT.

Time to take the training wheels off and get serious. I have had an amazing amount of success with being slow and steady. 55 pounds in just under 2 years. The fact I have stuck with it this long tells me that I really do have what it takes to get my body in shape and my weight and health under control. I have always worked very well with a deadline so I'm hoping this will give me the incentive I need to really dig in and work hard.

Time for me to be ALL IN so I can truly enjoy my dream vacation and still make this the year that I achieve my goal weight.

~Barb

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LJR4HEALTH 3/31/2013 5:38PM

    Barb great plan of action to get you where you want ot be by May 24th very attainable emoticon forward

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SHIITAKE 3/24/2013 8:52PM

   
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SPARKLISE 3/22/2013 11:36AM

    Sounds like a good plan! emoticon emoticon

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MRSBETH99 3/21/2013 8:12AM

    What an awesome trip you have planned!! And you've set great goals. We're here to cheer you on!

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KALISWALKER 3/20/2013 8:54PM

    Yes Barb time to break out the Jillian Michael's 30-Day Shred DVD! You are so motivated, I know you can make it work for you!

Lynn

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TERESA159 3/20/2013 6:58PM

    Vacation is a great motivation!! Just stay focused on your goal and visual how you want to look on vacation. It sounds like fun!

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AMYTRIPP 3/20/2013 3:09PM

    You can do it!! And that vacation sounds awesome!! I want to stow away in your suitcase.

I have some kind of block against ST too. *sigh*

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DOINITRIGHT2012 3/20/2013 1:44PM

    emoticon

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DETERMINEDJANET 3/20/2013 1:32PM

    I am at the same place.... needing to take those training wheels off. You can do this and I have always wanted to go on an Alaskan cruise so I can't wait to see pictures!!

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RANMT53 3/20/2013 1:14PM

    You do have what it takes to be successful. Good luck on your plan and have fun on your vacation!

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7) Anything else you would like to share with your Team

Friday, March 08, 2013

It's been a great week even though I have gone over my calorie budget a few times and under my fitness goals. I've lost half of the weight that I gained on my 2 week California vacation and I have managed to track my food every day. Yesterday was difficult since I ate dinner at my Mom's and didn't get home until after midnight. But I did it!

It was also very stressful. My mother received a phone call that my other brother (not the baby brother who is down here visiting) is separating from his wife of 10 years. They have 2 young daughters 4 & 7. Very sad news and even though we've known it was coming for quite awhile the official news really upset me and I had a very hard time sleeping. So I'd definitely appreciate prayers. It will take a miracle for that marriage and family to be healed.

PS... The cold is mild, and I actually felt better yesterday and today AND the roof next door is done, so at least those stressers are better =)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CARRIE1948 3/9/2013 12:03PM

    Good to hear you sounding so chipper

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SCHNOOTIE 3/8/2013 11:23PM

    There's nothing like prayer and family bonds to help us get through the tough times. I know you can be there for them, at least to give them some hope. It was nice getting to know you better through this challenge, though. :)

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PEPPERMINT125 3/8/2013 8:45PM

    Prayers for your brother's family. But good work on sticking to your tracking this week.


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KMICHA 3/8/2013 3:05PM

    WTG!! You're doing great!!! Keep up the good work!

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POPSY190 3/8/2013 2:42PM

    emoticon on your successful week despite the stressors. emoticon

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DETERMINEDJANET 3/8/2013 1:31PM

    Sorry to hear about your brother's marriage. Glad you are feeling better today.

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MRSBETH99 3/8/2013 9:45AM

    You've accomplished a lot this week to celebrate and give yourself credit for! When we try to change too much at once it's overwhelming, at least it is for me!! So I think you've done great. I'll be praying for your brother and his family. I hope you can release it, do what you can, and know what is beyond your control. May you find peace in the midst of all of it.

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JAMARIGOLD 3/8/2013 9:14AM

    Congrats on tracking your food every day in spite of everything that's going on in your life. Good for you!
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TERESA159 3/8/2013 9:13AM

    That is bad news but it's his issue and not yours so keep it in perspective and help him and those kids in any way you can. That's all you can do!
Glad to hear about the weight loss even though you weren't perfect this week. It doesn't take perfection, just being good enough to make the difference. Just think what you could have lost if you had stayed on track! Something to think about.
Hope you have a great and healthy weekend.

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AMYTRIPP 3/8/2013 8:09AM

    I'm glad you're feeling better!

It's so hard when a family breaks apart, especially one with young children. I think all we can do is really be there for the little ones as they try to sort out their new life and roles.

Congrats on the weight loss!!

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6) Do you need some motivation or advice? Ask for it!

Thursday, March 07, 2013

I can always use more motivation! Especially since I really do not feel good. Got a cold. Pretty sure it was that lady sitting next to me on the plane who keep sneezing and sniffling the entire flight and kept invading my foot space to the point I actually kicked her a few times because she left me with no where to put my feet, so rude! Brother is still in town, and while I've done good at tracking, my appetite is still on vacation mode and I am definitely eating more than I should. I also need to get in much more exercise, but I just want to sleep all day. Doh! I'm also kind of stressed out because the neighbors are getting a new roof put on and it's very noisy and freaking my dogs out.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DETERMINEDJANET 3/7/2013 11:07PM

    Sorry that cold is really dragging you down while your brother is visiting. Hugs!

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ROSE-100 3/7/2013 10:55PM

    All things shall pass,before you know it everything will start taking shape again,hang in there,have a good nights sleep.

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FALLNTENN 3/7/2013 9:44PM

    Take care of yourself. Keep tracking your food. Once you start feeling better, you will be ready to return to exercising.

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SILVERWITCH59 3/7/2013 9:14PM

    I always carry a mask. I am such a nerd. I do home health care so never know what I am going to run into.

Feel Better emoticon
You can not push your body to hard or you sure won't get better.

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SMARTOAK 3/7/2013 6:03PM

    Get better soon! And invest in ear plugs. Magic.

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NEWTINK 3/7/2013 4:36PM

    I hope you feel better soon emoticon

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MRSBETH99 3/7/2013 2:37PM

    Oh dear. That all sounds like a rough patch! You may need to rest if you're not feeling well. You know yourself best. But if you think you're having a stress or aversion reaction, then the best thing you can do is a workout that will get you sweating... a lot... and those endorphins will elevate your mood! Here's one of my favorite short cardio workouts on SP, just 12 minutes but if you give it your all it might just perk you up!

http://www.sparkpeople.c
om/resource/videos-detail.asp?v
ideo=33



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WIZKEY 3/7/2013 2:36PM

    If you are keeping up with your tracking with everything you are going through this week, then you are doing great!! Keep up the good work and be gentle with yourself. You will heal faster if you are not pushing yourself too hard.

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KEEPITUP05 3/7/2013 11:17AM

    Hopefully they get the roof done quickly. My dog would be the same. Try to get some extra vitamin c and keep drinking water. Praying you feel better soon. You will get back on track w/the food. emoticon

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JLEMUS1 3/7/2013 11:03AM

    Hang in there I'm hoping not to get a cold from a co-worker..and keep on track but emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JMCADE 3/7/2013 9:31AM

    Wow - multiple issues to combat and stay motivated. But it sounds like you know where you want to be headed so it is just a matter of feeling better and then getting back in the groove. You can do it. Step out there and go for it!

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EVIE4NOW 3/7/2013 9:15AM

  too bad we don't get to choose who to sit next to right? hopefully you won't get sick and can continue on your journey. a vacation means r & r but the relax part doesn't include your eating or exercising habits. left alone for too long and takes more to restart yourself and thought process. even if you temper the eating and exercising down a notch or 2 it will help.. good luck and above all.. have fun!

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AMYTRIPP 3/7/2013 9:12AM

    A quick motivational quote for you:
If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking. ~Buddhist Saying


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