Saturday, August 18, 2012
I know it may appear that I fell off the wagon, and I suppose I sort of did. But I've run after the wagon and will be back at it 100% on monday for sure. my weekends are always a little rocky, not in that I cheat but in that I tend to relax and not be on quite an eating schedule.
Things have been insane. LeakyCon was ridiculous, and I found myself really only eating breakfast. as in, get some protein in the morning, run around all day and before I knew it, it was 1 or 2 or 3 am and "oh darn we forgot to eat today!" It was the most fun I may have ever had. I wouldn't change it for the world.
I've been basically EXHAUSTED all week and haven't been thinking in the diet mindset. I will get back on track though- i just needed to get over this Post LeakyCon Depression - which is apparently a real thing. Obviously not diagnosed or anything, but from what I understand, many people who leave LC end up sick, depressed, etc. So I'm coping with that. I had lost my voice at the con. i finally got it back on wednesday.
Hope you've all been well, sorry I disappeared. "she went to chicago and never came back!"
Sunday, August 05, 2012
Yesterday I spent the day in the city with my friends.
I ate like a King.
It's funny because even though for the most part I was making decent food choices, I still ate quite a bit more than I am used to (at least in the past month) and since we were dining out, it's hard to say what I was really putting into my body, you know? I enjoy and appreciate the fact that in NYC, the menus are required to have caloric values on them but I feel like those are still misleading.
Anyway, after eating and drinking and having a grand old time, I was so violently sick by the time the day was over, it was startling and disgusting. How sad that I did that to myself, but I suppose how great that my body rejected it the way it did, like punishing me for being so stupid.
Just like 2 weeks or so ago when I deviated from my normal lunch routine and had a wrap, leaving me with heartburn for the rest of the day, this was worse.
I got that whole "rewarding myself with food" idea out of my system, and the aftermath was pretty awful, I don't see myself making this mistake again.
I know I need to eat today, but I feel really gross, so I am probably taking it very easy and eating very lightly (here it is 3:20 and so far I've put nothing but water and a vitamin into my system so far).
What a fun learning experience getting healthier can be! hahaha.
Friday, August 03, 2012
I'm so addicted to SparkPeople. I'm so addicted to figuring out the best food combinations for the day. Granted I'm still using an "easy way" with my food because of Nutrisystem, but I have been supplementing and adding/subtracting, etc. LIKE A BOSS. I'll be FINE when I'm not on it anymore. And I will probably start to enjoy cooking again when I take the time and make the effort to make myself nutritious (LOWER SODIUM) meals.
I feel better about myself today than yesterday. There are still things nagging at me a little bit but nothing that can be helped. Honestly. I'd whine and complain but it's silly and it's in my head and I'll get over it sooner than later.
I'm debating joining a gym. They are convenient, and if I were to make it a routine then I'd probably do really well with it. But I am worried about contracts and commitments. My firm has a "deal"? with NYSC for $65/month and they deduct it directly from our paychecks and if you join now august is free... but I am afraid to take that leap, plus I feel like $65 is a bit steep. But NYSC is all over the city and who knows what that includes?
Does anyone have gym ideas? I'm not one of those people that is nervous to be seen at a gym, I don't want to go to one that is completely crowded and I have to wait in line to use a machine either. I just feel like that might be my best option... I don't own a treadmill. and say what you will but walking outside and walking on a treadmill are not the same thing.
I just, I feel like I've got/am getting the eating thing down pretty well. I REALLY want to see results and I know that you need to exercise to make them happen faster. So I'm kind of trying to kick my own ass here and get crackin on the exercise.
"The way to get started is to stop talking and begin doing." ~Walt Disney
oh p.s. I created a SparkTeam for Starkid Fans because we weren't represented before and I've got 12 members, woo. but if you wanna join or if you are a member, it'd be nice if it were active... ;)
Thursday, August 02, 2012
Okay, this might be long. First, I weighed myself this morning (three days since weighing) and the scale is not moving. But here's also the thing, apparently the floor in my apartment sucks because on the wooden floor by my bedroom door, I am heaver than on the vinyl floor in the kitchen- and in the bathroom the tiles are uneven. So either I have a crap scale or the apartment sucks. I'm going to continue weighing myself in the kitchen... just, how silly that i have to carry my scale to and from the kitchen when Iwant to weigh myself.
So I've been exercising this week. It's not very much, but it's something and I FEEL it, you know? My heart beats faster, my muscles are a little bit sore. I feel it. I know that I'm eating well. So I'm not understanding why the number isn't going down on the scale. I know it doesn't matter because positive changes are good, blah, blah, blah, but it does matter. I want to know how I'm doing. How can I be standing still? I should be shrinking.
I guess I am proud that I'm fighting the bad habits. I keep thinking about how badly I want to binge and just mindlessly eat junk, but then the voice that thankfully wins that discussion in my head reminds me that 1) I won't feel better, if anything I'll feel worse; 2) NOTHING positive would come from doing that; 3) It definitely won't assist me in reaching my goals.
The thing is, I'm pretty miserable today, not just from this lack of smaller number situation. I am stressing out about this trip to Chicago. No one can actually do anything to make me feel better about it, it's something I have to figure out on my own. Also, I had my supervisor speak to me at work today. That sort of thing is never fun.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
I went over on my calories today. How sad that I've gotten to the point that I'm still under 2000 calories but disappointed in myself for going over 1780 (I had 1807 or something today).
I KNOW that's not a failure but I like trying to stay in my guidelines. I just know I need to watch it tomorrow. That's all. Oh, and that I'm done today. No dessert for me tonight.
I suppose that means my mindset is good. I'm not going to give up and start crying or anything. I made the decision. I wanted sushi for dinner. And I had it. And it was good. I'm very happy that I ate it for dinner. I also am proud of making the decisions I made when ordering. instead of getting a bento box (my go to from this restaurant) I thought logically. It's too much food, the meat is covered in sauce, the tempura is bad for you, and i didn't need to eat all of that rice. So i opted for a couple of rolls instead. and tasted the soy sauce, it made my mouth pucker. too much salt.
I'm happy that I didn't go over in sodium today. yesterday according to my tracker my sodium was 3809!!! how does that even happen? I think it made me retain water though. Yikes.
I found this picture online. it really speaks to me. If I count from 7/14 instead of 7/5, which is the day i started nutrisystem, 7/14 was the day i bought my scale, we're only 2 weeks in. so let's keep truckin.
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