Thursday, December 18, 2014
I had to go to my doctor today. Had my blood work done last week, had to go and have my check up. I was supposed to go in October (for 6 months) but I had too much going on, I guess.
At the doctor's office I weighed 260. Frustrating. I know my weight will fluctuate during the week etc. But MAN. I just want to get below 250.
They said that everything is good. My blood work is awesome. I'm totally healthy and I don't need to change my supplement regiment.
They're happy with my weight loss and they seemed very happy that I've begun going to the gym. The nurse practitioner told me that I could probably work my way up to 5x/week at the gym. I wonder how long I can consistently do 3x before trying to work up to 5x. Also I wonder if I can like RENT a locker at the gym instead of lugging a gym bag back and forth on gym days.
My nutritionist also told me I should try to up my protein intake to 70g per day. I feel like that might be too much food. We'll see how that goes.
Friday, December 05, 2014
I just feel like making a list of things that I used to struggle with/was unable to do that I can do now. Feel free to comment with things YOU can do that you couldn't do before. It's exciting.
1) Buckle the seatbelt on planes.
2) FIT into theater seats (broadway shows are important! the LEG ROOM doesn't help but the seats are roomier now)
3) cross my legs
4) walk up the TON of stairs in subways (yesterday I felt like I was ascending from the center of the earth coming out of one (53rd and 7th on the E line) and it was a pain, but I did it and I really wasn't that winded.
5) bend down/over for a decent amount of time
6) balance on one foot
7) kneel (church!)
8) tie my shoes
10) sit somewhat comfortably between two people on a subway train.
11) reach around myself, scratch my back/stretch etc.
12) go shopping in stores besides "women's plus" stores (avenue, lane bryant, etc).
13) run (in short sprints if I am in a hurry to catch a train/bus/cab etc, i'm not RUNNING...yet?)
14) not finish food. (lately i find myself throwing away most of the bread if I'm eating a sandwich...me, "wasting" bread. crazy!)
15) not having such a big stomach in the way makes it easier for me to do some things that might be TMI but sometimes I'm in awe when I remember how difficult it was previously.
I'm still self conscious about a lot of things, and I'm not "skinny" and don't know if I will ever be, but I'm SMALLER and I'm starting to really love certain things about myself.
Did I miss anything that you were inspired by when you started losing weight? tell me!
Thursday, December 04, 2014
I always said when I was much heavier that I'd be happy at an 18. or a 16. I'd be happy at 220lbs, etc., etc., etc.
Now that I'm losing and my body is changing, I'm not so sure. I don't know what my ideal weight is or what I want my body to look like. Reality v. Expectations. In a perfect world, I'd look like Eliza Dushku or Mandy Moore or someone "perfect"... But THAT is never going to happen.
So where's my happy medium? I've lost SO much weight. And for the most part I'm grossly unhappy with what my body looks like. Granted I haven't been doing much to tone it or exercise- and I'm REALLY going to start doing that. My coworker and I have made a pact to go to the gym on Monday. I feel like that's 4 days away and we're already procrastinating, but whatever. Start somewhere. Maybe I'll use my Wii Fit tonight. It's been a while.
I just finished reading a book called Good In Bed (By Jennifer Weiner). It's about a plus sized gal near 30 who I guess ultimately gets her life together. It was a little too fairytale-esque for my liking, and my biggest issue was that she said really awful things about herself and she was 40lbs overweight. As I read this, it upset me because I'm bigger than that and I'm assuming the author is plus sized or was at one point. And because my whole life I've been like "pshh. I'd be happy at a size 16."
I'm beginning to realize I don't think that is true. Because I'm probably 20-30 pounds away from a size 16. and I don't think that I'll be happy with my body then.
That being said, I'm increasingly getting more and more comfortable with my naked body. When I look in the mirror before getting in the shower, and I take pictures on my phone (and then delete them) but I am curious. I find it interesting that I can see parts of my body that weren't so easy to see before. I'm flexible, and bones are starting to pop out.
But the point of this is that I think my ideal is changing - and am I going to ONLY be satisfied when I get to goal? Or will I be okay when I get below 250lbs? Below 230? etc. (I'm 5'8 in case you're wondering).
What is your goal? Are you comfortable in your skin now?
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