Saturday, January 07, 2012
If I could name one character trait that I am desperate to acquire it has to be perseverance. I value it in others and wish to cultivate it in my own life. Perseverance in spite of all odds is what brings victory.
I have persevered so far in one thing, failing to persevere!!! Hence I am here. So many times I have started and quit, lost the battle before I even started it, let myself be defeated without even a smidgin of an effort.
I have a lot of weight to lose, a lot of stuff on my bucket list, and a lot of self-esteem to reclaim. Perseverance is my Achiles' heel. I love that SP is the place to once and for all pick myself up, dust off, and PERSEVERE. This time around, with faith in God, the help of friends and resources in SP and elsewhere, I claim 2012 as my opportunity to finally do something consistently for ONE YEAR! I am ready to put up a fight!
2012 is the year when for 365 days I will persevere in staying close to God, just staying around, losing a bunch of weight, regaing my self-esteem, loving my family and friends, and LIVING!
Friday, October 07, 2011
"To keep me from becoming conceited, ...., there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, sot that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why , for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 7-10 (NIV)
"To keep from becoming conceited, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me." vs. 7
Is this true of me? Can my problem with food be a thorn, a messenger of Satan? Satan wants my ultimate destruction. Preferably, he would love to get my soul! The purpose of this thorn is to remind me that. What would happen if God chose to relieve me of it? I would start losing weight without any struggle, without any diet, without SP, because I wouldn't over eat any more. I wouldn't see food the same way any more. And then, I would think that it is all my merit for losing weight. I would forget the great healing that God made in my life. I would become vain, conceited, and think that I can do life on my own without Him. Like Paul, I too pleaded MUCH MORE than three times!!! I would love to be like my college friend who was stick thin and could not get herself worked up over any culinary experience or taste! I never quite understood her, but she was skinny, and she never cleaned off her plate!
The Lord's answer to Paul was, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (vs. 9a) There is great power in these words, and they can certainly be applied to many different facets of the Christian life. We are all mired by sin and tainted by the depravity of this world. Weakness abounds all around and in us. But narrowing it down to my food problem, to me this means that even if the Lord doesn't remove it (which He COULD do in an instant!), He will be with me THROUGH it. He will give me the grace necessary - the strength to say no, the willingness to resist, the emotional fortitude to walk away, the joy in small victories - to make it through each weakness/temptation. For my part, I have to have FAITH that He WILL provide this grace. I have to trust that He IS there, and He does have plenty of grace stored for my time of need.
And then, the cherry on top: "That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (vs. 10) Oh, wow, my curse, my thorn, my weakness, the messenger of Satan in my flesh all become a source of delight? How is that possible? Well, only with God who sent Christ to defeat weakness, temptation, Satan. Through Christ I am free. Every single time I fight this temptation with the power and grace of the cross of Jesus, I am victorious. His blood washes, cleanses, renews me. Had I not had this thorn in my life, I would not be able to SEE the Lord's rescue, His grace, the victory possible. That is why I DELIGHT in my weakness.
So many times I don't even put up a fight. I just give in to the constantly hungry (even after a 5 course meal) voice inside my head without stopping to DELIGHT in my weakness. This is my weakness, and it CAN be defeated through the power of the cross of Jesus. I can benefit from His grace in that precise moment if I only choose to stop for a second and acknowledge it for what it is and let God's grace cover it up and take it away.
Lord, for today, I pray with all my heart that You help me delight in my weakness, that You help me acknowledge temptation as Satan's message and stop before I give in to it. Help me use this call in my head as a prompting to pray for Your intervening grace. And, Lord, thank You because Your grace is always sufficient in my weakness. Thank You because You always come to my rescue. I praise You because when I am weak, when I acknowledge it, then You make me strong and help me delight in You. How wonderful You are, Jesus! Hallelujah! Amen.
Tuesday, October 04, 2011
Ok, once and for all, I need to clarify in my mind the enormous truth that my mind keeps struggling to grasp: I DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH FOOD, I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH FOOD TEMPTATION!!!
Just like money in my wallet is not EVIL, food in itself is not EVIL. In fact, food is AMORAL. It does not possess any good/bad or any other moral values. It has NUTRITIONAL and PHYSIOLOGICAL qualities that affect my physical body, but ultimately food is like the gas I put in my car, a means of fueling my body. It is also one of the joys that God gave us on this earth, and like many other things, it can be used within limits for this purpose.
My major problem is not that I am hooked on food. We all are; otherwise, we wouldn't be able to function in these physical bodies. My problem is that, like with many other things, Satan uses food and my enjoyment of it as a means to trap, ensnare, and derail me from the path towards glorifying God. Satan is a master manipulator who takes my own mind and lack of self-control and plays them against me. He doesn't know the meaning of fair play! He uses food like he uses so many other things in this world - addictive drugs, alcohol, sex, workoholism, but also busyness, self-reliance, pride, etc - to play into the "desires of the flesh" and derail and distract me from my true calling.
Well, there, it's acknowledged! I always have to remember the great deceiver, Satan, never rests. Every time I sit down to eat a meal, I have to pray that I look at food as God's gift of nourishment and enjoyment and not a temptation. I don't need to OVEREAT or eat foods that have been processed out of nutrition to feel alive, satisfied, filled. What I DO need to do is eat with a grateful heart, enjoying the richness of God's bounty and the burst of flavor His kind of food (the fresh/unprocessed kind) can provide. I also DO need to enjoy the PEOPLE around the table, look at them, listen to them.
Lord, today, help me be grateful for the food You provide for my nourishment and enjoyment while not allowing Satan to turn it into a means of temptation and sinning. I pray that my eating be always be a spiritual exercise in self-control, and that the choices I make remain governed by You. Amen
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
"The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but victory rests with the Lord." Proverbs 21: 31
One of my epiphanies this morning was this verse in Proverbs. I need a paradigm shift because I seem to always forget that it is not me who actually carries out the victory. In days where consistency in my commitments is hard, I usually forget that really, the battle belongs to the Lord. He is not asking me to WIN the battle, but He IS asking me to be READY for battle.
To me, this means that for my part, I am to do everything I can to prepare myself for another day of glorifying God through my weaknesses (food temptation being one of them). It is a daily battle that I can only hope to win with God on my side of the battle field.
I have to first plan for the week ahead. I can make a meal plan, shopping list, chores list, to do lists, check out my calendar for commitments that may affect my meal times, and anything else that I think of to make the week ahead go smoothly. I can also do the shopping/chopping/batch cooking in days when I am less busy or just at home. My modus operandi needs to be ANTICIPATION.
I then need to sit down every night and go over the plans for the next day. I can write them down and then give them to the Lord. Moreover, like a warrior who sharpens his skills, I too need to go out of my way to make sure I am COMPLETELY ready for battle. Writing down EVERYTHING I plan to eat the next day may sound like overkill, but it sure helps!
Each day, in the morning I can pray my plans over to the Lord, and ask Him to give me the VICTORY. I am completely assured that the battle IS on. I am fighting a tough enemy, an enemy much more powerful than myself, a mighty force that is shrewd and mean and powerful. It will try to get me when I am tired, lonely, sad, or just plain happy. Without God, there is no victory, but today, amazingly, I stand a chance. This chance is to let the Lord win it for me. But I do have to make sure I am READY!!!!
Sunday, August 21, 2011
I am a 33-year old simple Jesus girl in the business of constantly improving my way of life to glorify Him.
I have three children 8 years old and under, who are all starting school tomorrow, and my youngest one is starting kindergarten! I juggle child-raising, home management, a part-time job, and church ministry. Occasionally, I drop one or more of the balls I have in the air, but I try with all my might to pick myself up and dust off and move on.
I am an expert in emotional eating and often times I chose food instead of God to drown my sorrows in, hence I have over 100 lbs to lose.
This is my blog about my daily struggles to live a healthier lifestyle, be a better mom and wife, and be the best I can be in every other area of my life.
I tend to have perfectionist tendencies, and to counteract these, I try to remind myself of the following principles every day:
One day at a time!
With God, all things are possible!
Strive to be rigorous, not rigid!
Seek progress not perfection.
It is all about the journey!
Get An Email Alert Each Time SVHOTMAMA Posts