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Hope for a New Beginning

Monday, February 27, 2012

Oh, where to start! Its been so long! A lot of things have happened in my life within the past few months that have set back my goals. The irony is that I actually met one of them without even trying.
With working retail, the holiday season is just pure hell! So each year I know that I will take off those two weeks prior to and after Christmas. What I didn't plan was two MONTHS off! The last thing I want to do is make all these excuses for myself. All I want is to collect my thoughts and get these issues articulated so I can move past it all. So that is what I shall do.
The holidays were really hard on my family because we were flat broke. I literally had about 100 bucks a week to feed us. We scrimped by and I sacrificed but we managed to get a few things for each other, knowing that when the windfall of holiday pay came in we would treat each other to something more special. Now, I'm not saying this to sound material. I have been raised that family is more important than gifts. My greatest gift this past year was having a safe place to live and being healthy enough to spend time with my loved ones.
However, not a week into the year, my husband was let go from his job. I really didn't have much to say because I was in such shock. We have been surviving off of mostly his pension and 401K money. Also, my pay has been a little more because I have been able to work more hours on account of my husband being home to take care of our son. No more opposite shifts with me rushing home at 80 MPH on the highway so he can leave for work has been great. And while I was able to get a nice tax refund this past month, most of it will go to bills and be saved for a new car that we badly need as well as a buffer until he can secure a new job. I am hopeful as he has been on several interviews week after week.
As if that wasn't enough to deal with, our son was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder/Asperger's Syndrome. He now goes to classes 5 days a week and gets on a bus. I am truly glad that we are able to get him this help and I see improvement in him each day. It has been very hard on me to deal with however. I have been very stressed out with trying to deal with his behavior. I used to be proud that I had all these tools and routines in how to raise a child, but now its like someone threw my toolbox out the window and now I have been grasping at straws and fumbling at how to raise him now. He's getting the support he needs, but now I have to find support for myself. I am always stressed and crabby and angry. I go to work and can actually get some quiet. Its sad when I have to go to another asylum to escape the one at home, is it not?! Even now this morning, my husband took our son to school so that I could have the morning to myself to relax and collect my thoughts. So my skinny jeans I wanted to fit into? Yep, they fit...they are a tad tight yet. But I don't see it as a success because the only reason I could fit into them is because I was too poor for adequate nutrition and too tired to work out.
Which brings me back to Spark! I ran today for the first time in two months plus I started this new Barre workout that I actually read about from fellow Sparkers. I like it! I think it will be a great supplement to running.
This morning is just what I needed and I will have to thank my hubby for it. I can't promise I'll be full force yet, but I hope this is a new beginning.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LADYGLAMOUR 2/29/2012 4:41PM

  Wow, things have been tough. Great to hear that you're back and battling through. Fingers crossed that hubby gets a job real soon - I know its not easy but try and squeeze in some 'me' time whenever you can hun.

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CHICSHAN004 2/27/2012 11:29PM

    emoticon emoticon

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Running On All Four Cylinders Again...Thanks to Uncle Vick!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Well after a year of creams, vinegar, lotions, and a short but sweet prescription, I found a fascinating relief for my athlete's foot! I was surfing around WebMD (one of my go-tos) and a guy had commented on using Vick's VapoRub. I believe he said his dermatologist recommended it. He was told that it actually soaks into the skin to kill the fungus! Well, I bought a tub and the first day it was like having my feet back. I know this may not sound like a big deal, but when you are a runner, IT IS A HUGE DEAL. Especially if you use running as a treatment for anger and frustration and overall mental sanity!
It's been only three days and I can see my pink skin healing. There's scarce traces of rash and the itching has almost completely stopped! So here's my cliche of the year: it's a miracle!
I can walk from heel to toe FULLY again, run at my full stride, and CAN WALK PERIOD! This has done much for my energy both at work and home.
It feels sooooo good to be back!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LADYGLAMOUR 11/19/2011 3:53AM

  That's absolutely fantastic news! Vicks VapoRub........ who knew?!
So happy for you hun
Jackie emoticon

Comment edited on: 11/19/2011 3:54:25 AM

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DJ4HEALTH 11/17/2011 12:18AM

    Make sure that you get new shoes since the fungus is also in your shoes now too. They will not die even if you bleach them. I saw a show on the History Channel that said that bleach is the worst thing that you can put on mold(fungus) and that it does not kill it but makes them white that you can't see them and that does make sense since you have to keep cleaning the same spot in the tub or show that the mold keeps coming back.

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Slap in the Face and Punch in the Gut

Friday, November 04, 2011

So I had my yearly physical this week and found it awkward and crushing. At this point in my life and especially after having my son, being up on the examining table in a skimpy robe doesn't phase me. I also wasn't surprised to learn that I had to get my cholesterol and glucose levels checked. Having PCOS causes a predisposition towards heart disease and diabetes so this is normal. And finally getting a diagnoses and script for my athlete's foot was relieving after suffering through it for over a year. But what really irked me was the doctor herself. This was the first visit with a new doctor, but I thought, how different could it be from what I've been used to for the past decade?
Well, very! She wouldn't look at me except for when she did my physical exam. She kept looking at the computer and typing information while asking ME to watch and verify what I said was correct or not. REALLY? I'm not a medical doctor! If I describe my conditions and you type in your chicken scratch it's not my job to make sure it makes sense. I can't read that medical jargon!
Regardless, as she was going through my family history and typing all my info, she casually said, "And you have some weight to lose because you are obese." For all the hard work I've been doing these past months with Spark's help, it sure didn't make a difference to her! No, she didn't ask or know if I've recently lost weight. At this point I just wanted to leave because of how awkward it all felt. I mentally brushed her off, but she came back with a 4 page primer on what to do to lose weight. Small potatoes to what I can learn here on Spark and nothing compared to what I learned in school. All she could reference is how lucky I am to have my son because PCOS comes with such a high risk for miscarriage and infertility. Well, this I know, but still doesn't detract from the fact that I experience a body that doesn't want to lose fat!! Just because I was able to get pregnant doesn't mean I can lose weight like normal people!! HAVING A BABY DOESN'T SET EVERYTHING RIGHT!! I work out til I literally get sick (i.e. this past week or so) and eat a great diet and all I get is "you're obese". Not any questions as to whether I know how to eat or if I work out.
Whatever! Fact is the doctor looked like she had several pounds she could do without herself.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JANELKASSIA30 11/6/2011 3:01PM

    You should see if you can go to a edicrinologist. I was referred to that from a couple dr's ago at the clinic in Eagan. And they test your hormones and stuff to help with weight loss. But I never got a chance to go there and see what it was about. I do believe they specialize in PCOS.
Maybe you could switch clinics or also ask for a dr that specialized in PCOS???

Dr's are stupid when they treat patients like you got treated. I mean you tell them your problems but then they are supposed to help you from there. You cannot diagnose yourself! Unless that is what it has come too. Just research on the internet. But even then you have to to the dr because you need a prescription for somethings!

But even now specialists are better because obviously they specialize in certain things. And you can't go to a reg dr anymore unless you need just regular stuff and regular check ups. Another option is checking an internist. They are good too.

I had one in Mankato. And he found my gallstones. So they can be good too. And you have to get your glucose and cholesterol checked every year because of mom and her heart problems and our family heart history (which is mostly on her side I believe). I have done that in the past few years. It is not bad if you dont care about needles and dont mind a little pin prick. I got used to anyway.

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LORIENABANANA 11/5/2011 3:57PM

    Ouch! What an inconsiderate doctor! I hope you can realize that it's her and not you! Don't let her derail you on your goals or negate the progress you have mad. You are stronger than that!

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LADYGLAMOUR 11/5/2011 3:24AM

  Oh hun, what a terrible experience with your new doctor! She obviously has few social skills - or maybe we should give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she was having a really bad day?! Whatever, don't let her insensitive remarks and attitude detract from the fact that you and your Spark friends know how well you're doing. See the experience as a marker and really show her on your next visit that you're achieving so much.

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FRAN0426 11/4/2011 11:16PM

    Sorry you had such a brush off approach from your new doctor. You should have told her what you have been doing with eating and exercising. But, I have had only one doctor that actually said to me that all the medications I take each day, MAY have some affect on having problems losng weight. I exercise and eat well too and just don't have results in losing weight. However, I know I am healthier than I was before I joined sparks and that does help ease the pain of being told you just eat to much or you need to lose weight.

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Back From Injury and Illness

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Well guys and gal-ys, I've made my way back to Spark! I've been gone awhile because I've been battling a HORRENDOUS bout of athletes foot. I've also been without my laptop. My hubby shared the laptop with his business partner for their karaoke/dj business but now the programs are all on one computer and I have mine back!
I was doing really well, just didn't have a way to track. Then my left foot got so bad that I had to force myself to rest. Something I REALLY REALLY REALLY didn't want to do! Now I am dealing with the (hopeful) end of the worst. The dry dead skin is peeling off and most of the itching has stopped. So I am ready to get running again tomorrow. At the very least I may pop in Jilly and modify so that I can still get a good workout without exacerbating my foot pain.
I know, I know...go to a doctor, stupid, right? I have an appt on Nov 1st so I will discuss this issue and more. Yeah, not only do I have this foot crapola, but I've somehow broken out in a bunch of hives too! I'M FALLING APART! I heard that a lot of allergies have been bad this year for people. Thing is, I've never had any allergies until this year! We had some mold in our shower this summer and I had to get some bleach to get rid of it. I believe that is what set me off. I've read bleach can set off allergic reactions in people who are otherwise healthy. Anyone who knows me knows that I use natural and organic cleaning supplies and beauty products. So getting bleach was nauseating to me. But I just couldn't get rid of it. We had the tile replaced and so far everything seems to be staying clean.
Anyway, with all this body commotion going on, working out has just been out of the question. I know it probably is best to take a leave of absence in situations like this, but I can't help feeling like a slacker. However, while I haven't worked out for over a week, I haven't wanted to exactly pig out either. I've been staying good with my diet and while I haven't really weighed myself, I think I have lost some weight.
So here goes nothing: tomorrow starts a renewed journey!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LADYGLAMOUR 10/22/2011 6:14AM

  Just pick yourself up and re commence your efforts. You've not been capable lately but if you believe you've still lost some weight you've done brilliantly!
Take care hun
Jackie x

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Goodbye Hot Tamale, Hello Cool Cucumber

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Call me crazy, but I don't care! I love cold weather. To anyone who doesn't know, I live in the great state of Minnesota (USA) and while we have the biggest reputation for cold winters, our summers are worse! To me, sweating while your just sitting on the couch is infuriating! When the humidity is up, my drive for doing anything plummets. This includes working out.
Well, the temp recently dropped and fall is here! We went from a hot and sticky 90 degree day two days ago to a cool and crisp 59 degree day today! AND I AM LOVING IT!!! I ran a 13 min mile at 5.5 MPH, which is a speed I haven't gone at in AWHILE. I know that last year I broke through a long plateau in October, so I know that I burn more calories in the colder months.
Don't get me wrong: I hate driving in snow and ice. I even hear that this year's winter will have just as much or maybe even more snow than last year's due to this El Nino thing going on. And last year we had RECORD snow falls! No, I definitely will not be excited to see snow. But I will bide my time and welcome the wonderful rush of cool air which has already given me motivation and a sense of renewal toward my fitness goals.
Oh, and then there's that whole craving an entire french baguette a day thing....

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LADYGLAMOUR 9/16/2011 5:59PM

  I'm a cool cucumber too! Love sleeping near the open bedroom window and having the cool night air blowing in....
Sweat? Euwgh!!


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JANELKASSIA30 9/15/2011 4:51PM

    That is good you did that. I agree that cooler weather can motivate me more to work out. Like today was nice and I took a walk and wore my track jacket. It was a good walk.

They always got bread here! The Italians in Chicago love their Italian breads and then they (my boyfriend's family) went to a Polish bakery and got some rolls and their rye bread. I had a fresh roll and it was good. I only had half because I am not trying to load up on carbs everyday anymore. I don't have a lot of bread of have different breads/whole grains or an english muffin throughout the day.

But I have been doing good and they have all this food around me but since I have trained myself to eat smaller portions I don't even eat all of it or take less serving sizes for myself. And try just a little bit of everything.

Now I am going on vacation so I don't want to gain anything back. :S I am going to Florida though so I can go by the beach and walk a bit. Or else I am also staying in Georgia for a bit and the lady has a pool so I can get a lot of swimming in and that is good for me for exercise!!

Tonight we are having periogies! They are so good with the potato filled inside. And I mentioned to have some mixed vagetables so we get our vegies for the day. :)

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ANGSGETTINREAL 9/15/2011 12:05PM

    I'm just the opposite. I LOVE summer, but mostly because I love the water. Spending all day at the beach, early morning fishing, last night bbq's. But I do love the changing of the seasons, as well. Watching nature put on one last fashion show as it gets ready for winter hibernation. Beautiful.

Congrats on the good run.

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JCP1979 9/14/2011 9:30PM

    I love this time of year! I just wish it didn't signal the soon return of dark and cold. Congratulations on the great run today!

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    I love fall coolness! Congratulations on teh 59 degrees!

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