Monday, February 27, 2012
Oh, where to start! Its been so long! A lot of things have happened in my life within the past few months that have set back my goals. The irony is that I actually met one of them without even trying.
With working retail, the holiday season is just pure hell! So each year I know that I will take off those two weeks prior to and after Christmas. What I didn't plan was two MONTHS off! The last thing I want to do is make all these excuses for myself. All I want is to collect my thoughts and get these issues articulated so I can move past it all. So that is what I shall do.
The holidays were really hard on my family because we were flat broke. I literally had about 100 bucks a week to feed us. We scrimped by and I sacrificed but we managed to get a few things for each other, knowing that when the windfall of holiday pay came in we would treat each other to something more special. Now, I'm not saying this to sound material. I have been raised that family is more important than gifts. My greatest gift this past year was having a safe place to live and being healthy enough to spend time with my loved ones.
However, not a week into the year, my husband was let go from his job. I really didn't have much to say because I was in such shock. We have been surviving off of mostly his pension and 401K money. Also, my pay has been a little more because I have been able to work more hours on account of my husband being home to take care of our son. No more opposite shifts with me rushing home at 80 MPH on the highway so he can leave for work has been great. And while I was able to get a nice tax refund this past month, most of it will go to bills and be saved for a new car that we badly need as well as a buffer until he can secure a new job. I am hopeful as he has been on several interviews week after week.
As if that wasn't enough to deal with, our son was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder/Asperger's Syndrome. He now goes to classes 5 days a week and gets on a bus. I am truly glad that we are able to get him this help and I see improvement in him each day. It has been very hard on me to deal with however. I have been very stressed out with trying to deal with his behavior. I used to be proud that I had all these tools and routines in how to raise a child, but now its like someone threw my toolbox out the window and now I have been grasping at straws and fumbling at how to raise him now. He's getting the support he needs, but now I have to find support for myself. I am always stressed and crabby and angry. I go to work and can actually get some quiet. Its sad when I have to go to another asylum to escape the one at home, is it not?! Even now this morning, my husband took our son to school so that I could have the morning to myself to relax and collect my thoughts. So my skinny jeans I wanted to fit into? Yep, they fit...they are a tad tight yet. But I don't see it as a success because the only reason I could fit into them is because I was too poor for adequate nutrition and too tired to work out.
Which brings me back to Spark! I ran today for the first time in two months plus I started this new Barre workout that I actually read about from fellow Sparkers. I like it! I think it will be a great supplement to running.
This morning is just what I needed and I will have to thank my hubby for it. I can't promise I'll be full force yet, but I hope this is a new beginning.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Well after a year of creams, vinegar, lotions, and a short but sweet prescription, I found a fascinating relief for my athlete's foot! I was surfing around WebMD (one of my go-tos) and a guy had commented on using Vick's VapoRub. I believe he said his dermatologist recommended it. He was told that it actually soaks into the skin to kill the fungus! Well, I bought a tub and the first day it was like having my feet back. I know this may not sound like a big deal, but when you are a runner, IT IS A HUGE DEAL. Especially if you use running as a treatment for anger and frustration and overall mental sanity!
It's been only three days and I can see my pink skin healing. There's scarce traces of rash and the itching has almost completely stopped! So here's my cliche of the year: it's a miracle!
I can walk from heel to toe FULLY again, run at my full stride, and CAN WALK PERIOD! This has done much for my energy both at work and home.
It feels sooooo good to be back!
Friday, November 04, 2011
So I had my yearly physical this week and found it awkward and crushing. At this point in my life and especially after having my son, being up on the examining table in a skimpy robe doesn't phase me. I also wasn't surprised to learn that I had to get my cholesterol and glucose levels checked. Having PCOS causes a predisposition towards heart disease and diabetes so this is normal. And finally getting a diagnoses and script for my athlete's foot was relieving after suffering through it for over a year. But what really irked me was the doctor herself. This was the first visit with a new doctor, but I thought, how different could it be from what I've been used to for the past decade?
Well, very! She wouldn't look at me except for when she did my physical exam. She kept looking at the computer and typing information while asking ME to watch and verify what I said was correct or not. REALLY? I'm not a medical doctor! If I describe my conditions and you type in your chicken scratch it's not my job to make sure it makes sense. I can't read that medical jargon!
Regardless, as she was going through my family history and typing all my info, she casually said, "And you have some weight to lose because you are obese." For all the hard work I've been doing these past months with Spark's help, it sure didn't make a difference to her! No, she didn't ask or know if I've recently lost weight. At this point I just wanted to leave because of how awkward it all felt. I mentally brushed her off, but she came back with a 4 page primer on what to do to lose weight. Small potatoes to what I can learn here on Spark and nothing compared to what I learned in school. All she could reference is how lucky I am to have my son because PCOS comes with such a high risk for miscarriage and infertility. Well, this I know, but still doesn't detract from the fact that I experience a body that doesn't want to lose fat!! Just because I was able to get pregnant doesn't mean I can lose weight like normal people!! HAVING A BABY DOESN'T SET EVERYTHING RIGHT!! I work out til I literally get sick (i.e. this past week or so) and eat a great diet and all I get is "you're obese". Not any questions as to whether I know how to eat or if I work out.
Whatever! Fact is the doctor looked like she had several pounds she could do without herself.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Well guys and gal-ys, I've made my way back to Spark! I've been gone awhile because I've been battling a HORRENDOUS bout of athletes foot. I've also been without my laptop. My hubby shared the laptop with his business partner for their karaoke/dj business but now the programs are all on one computer and I have mine back!
I was doing really well, just didn't have a way to track. Then my left foot got so bad that I had to force myself to rest. Something I REALLY REALLY REALLY didn't want to do! Now I am dealing with the (hopeful) end of the worst. The dry dead skin is peeling off and most of the itching has stopped. So I am ready to get running again tomorrow. At the very least I may pop in Jilly and modify so that I can still get a good workout without exacerbating my foot pain.
I know, I know...go to a doctor, stupid, right? I have an appt on Nov 1st so I will discuss this issue and more. Yeah, not only do I have this foot crapola, but I've somehow broken out in a bunch of hives too! I'M FALLING APART! I heard that a lot of allergies have been bad this year for people. Thing is, I've never had any allergies until this year! We had some mold in our shower this summer and I had to get some bleach to get rid of it. I believe that is what set me off. I've read bleach can set off allergic reactions in people who are otherwise healthy. Anyone who knows me knows that I use natural and organic cleaning supplies and beauty products. So getting bleach was nauseating to me. But I just couldn't get rid of it. We had the tile replaced and so far everything seems to be staying clean.
Anyway, with all this body commotion going on, working out has just been out of the question. I know it probably is best to take a leave of absence in situations like this, but I can't help feeling like a slacker. However, while I haven't worked out for over a week, I haven't wanted to exactly pig out either. I've been staying good with my diet and while I haven't really weighed myself, I think I have lost some weight.
So here goes nothing: tomorrow starts a renewed journey!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Call me crazy, but I don't care! I love cold weather. To anyone who doesn't know, I live in the great state of Minnesota (USA) and while we have the biggest reputation for cold winters, our summers are worse! To me, sweating while your just sitting on the couch is infuriating! When the humidity is up, my drive for doing anything plummets. This includes working out.
Well, the temp recently dropped and fall is here! We went from a hot and sticky 90 degree day two days ago to a cool and crisp 59 degree day today! AND I AM LOVING IT!!! I ran a 13 min mile at 5.5 MPH, which is a speed I haven't gone at in AWHILE. I know that last year I broke through a long plateau in October, so I know that I burn more calories in the colder months.
Don't get me wrong: I hate driving in snow and ice. I even hear that this year's winter will have just as much or maybe even more snow than last year's due to this El Nino thing going on. And last year we had RECORD snow falls! No, I definitely will not be excited to see snow. But I will bide my time and welcome the wonderful rush of cool air which has already given me motivation and a sense of renewal toward my fitness goals.
Oh, and then there's that whole craving an entire french baguette a day thing....
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