Saturday, March 15, 2014
I made the salmon burgers my husband loves: ten of them, and froze eight. And soup with mini sausage meatballs, spinach, and pasta. I made him cinnamon coffee cake from a Trader Joe mix, cut it in pieces and froze them. Also bread in my bread machine. Whole wheat buttermilk bread.
I haven't done a cooking marathon like this in a while, but hope this gives me time to hit the gym after work next week. Tomorrow I will make eggplant parmigiana with Trader Joe's pre-cooked eggplant slices, and then I won't have to cook for days.
My piriformis syndrome (sciatica) is flaring up again and I have returned to wearing black yoga pants most of the time. now I must go warm up the salmon burgers.
Friday, March 14, 2014
Maybe I will rethink my decision since I ate dinner and recovered from my blood sugar crash. My husband brought home Chinese takeout.
I can blog and write private thoughts on the journal page.
The picture is the chicken casserole recipe from Spark Recipes. Made it a week ago. It was delicious. I added roasted cherry tomatoes. These were leftovers we had for lunch.
I do have some meal tips. I make turkey meatloaves 4 at a time and freeze. I make salmon cakes a dozen at a time and also freeze. I make whole meal soups in my slow cooker. I make 4 servings of a recipe for dinner and pack 2 servings for our lunch. I roast cauliflower and have it for several meals and lunch salads.
I think I am going to track how I spend my time and plan what I am going to eat next week ahead of time. And I have to include me time and go back to the gym, too.
And chill. Seriously.
Friday, March 14, 2014
I have the impulse to make this blog private. I haven't participated, I don't have the time to go on the boards, I have made a few nice friends but I've gained back all the weight I lost. I feel emotionally fried.
My sugar cravings have returned and this is discouraging. Today, I went to work probably inappropriately dressed in a red velour jogging outfit that felt too tight. My workplace is very casual, but I wouldn't wear this if I was feeling good about myself. I told myself that I could have a treat because it is Friday. I had chocolate chip cookies, a Twix bar, and frozen yogurt on the way home. Then I felt like crying.
I get up early, get ready for work in a rush and feel disheveled all day. I come home and start in the kitchen, where I am until my husband gets home. I make lunch, dinner, and snacks for both of us, empty and reload the dishwasher, serve dinner, and most of the time clean up by myself afterwards. My husband is too tired to help most of the time. I get home a little after 4, and am not done sometimes until 9. One night when my husband was helping, he was annoyed cleaning up in the kitchen so late. Duh, how do you think I feel? He says just make it simple. I agree, but...
But how simple can you make it and still avoid processed food? I like real food like organic chicken and beef, fresh vegetables, whole grains. Frozen meals are very unsatisfying and very not like actual food.
I get up at 5:30 in the morning, and by 9 at night, I am ready to collapse in bed. But not with a free mind. There is the guilt that I have no time or energy to clean anything, literally. My home is a freaking dirty mess. So I have no free time, and yet I feel guilty. Emotionally frazzled, guilt-ridden, and having a never ending bad hair day.
Not feeling sorry for myself. I am healthy, I have a good husband who loves me even though he doesn't do pots, and I'm fairly intelligent, like my job, and am a talented artist, so I have been told. I just feel like I'm run ragged with nothing to show for it. I don't expect anyone to comment.
Going private now, so long.
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
I find myself back at the vending machine at work. Most times I look and talk myself out of buying anything.
I've gone backwards, but I have more clarity of seeing myself because I have moved out of this situation before. I'm not feeling like crap. It's that I'm not treating myself well and have fallen into bad habits again. I'm not a miserable pile of woe. It's that I understand that I have brought myself back here through neglect and that I have the choice and the ability to move upwards and out of this state again.
1. Falling off a ladder and spraining my foot last fall, making it hard to shop, cook, or exercise. I am now better and able to do these things. It took a while to recover.
2. My husband had emergency eye surgery for a detached retina, which involved driving him back and forth 5 or 6 times through snow storms, and waiting, waiting, waiting in the doctor's office. He has recovered from the surgeries; laser and cryogenic. I am grateful that his vision was preserved, and of course I would do anything for him. I did have a couple of stress meltdowns during the past few weeks because of this. The first, though, was brought on by a disturbed driver who tried to drive me off the road. The second one was yesterday, and it's a combination of things: my house is so dirty I cringe walking through it, I have gained back the twenty pounds I lost, and there is not enough time to do everything I need to do, let alone what I want to do.
We feel we have to be a rock always. And there are those of us who are a rock PART of the time, not always.
I did send a request for help to SparkTeam, and got a great answer back with some solid advice. To take one thing at a time to change, and to try and figure out where I got off track, and find those trouble spots.
I'm at lunch, and now I've run out of time. Time to end for now.
Friday, January 24, 2014
i used a balance board when I was in physical therapy. Kind of enjoyed it. At first, I couldn't stay on it, but gradually I became able to move around on it. I recently purchased one from Sports Authority. I read that it can be helpful with foot sprain injuries.
I fell off a ladder back in October and sprained my foot. I also was hit in the back of my head and had to have staples there. My foot still hurts a lot, especially when I have been sitting and get up. I realize that I was lucky to not have injured myself far worse. One of my coworkers recently fell off a stepladder and broke both of her wrists. What a nightmare. I am so sorry for her.
The balance board helps with, of all things, balance. But my cat has taken a liking to it, and thinks it's one of her toys. My husband throws her little foam rubber balls under it and she spins it around trying to get the ball. Loves it. So I guess I have to share.
I fell off my plan over the last few months and have gained back most of the twenty pounds that I lost. I am not happy about this, but am not going to beat myself up. I restarted my SparkCoach program, and have logged in my food today.
My other issue is with overexercising. At a routine blood test about a year ago, when I was going to the gym 5 days a week, I had an elevated creatinine level. Slightly elevated. When I looked up on the Internet, I saw that doing excessive strength training can cause this. It scared me, so I cut back last spring on my workouts. I see from the Spark guide to working out that you should not strength train daily, but intersperse with cardio. Twice a week is enough. So I need to start back to the gym, but not go nuts. Who would dream that exercise can hurt you? In excess.
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