Wednesday, December 03, 2008
I remember when I would come home from work (back in 2003 and before) I would stop off at the store to pick something up for supper and I was in physical pain. What I bought was not good nor healthy for me. I just wanted to eat. I know I was numbing the physical pain and the emotional pain. I was so lonely. I felt like I was on a deserted island and I would never see the ship passing by. I felt I had no one. I felt I was not a lovable person. Who would want me.
I had an incident hit me that shook me to my very being. I knew I needed help to get out of that ugly place. I called to make an app. with a counselor. I knew I did not have the tools to dig myself out. After seeing him I felt so good, so relieved I wasn't crazy and that these things happen to other people but they seem to know how to handle the situation.
I learned that when I am in a bad emotional place I do know what my limits are and that I can reach out for help. Today I would be willing to ask someone for help, my sister, my niece who is so knowledgeable and understanding, or call on a professional. I don't want to be that other person. What do I consider emotional eating? Today it would be different from back in the day. Would it be more than a bag of potato chips or a huge bowl of ice cream? That is something I need to figure out. I do not think I have done any emotional eating since I retired and moved back home. I have and know I have people that love me. I can go to anyone of them and say most anything without fear of seeing that look in their eye. The look saying what the hell is wrong with this woman.