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SUSANHGREENE's Recent Blog Entries


Sunday, November 25, 2012

I left last Thursday to go home to visit my stepdad with anticipation - looking forward to spending time with him and a couple of my brothers. We got there Thursday afternoon and took my stepdad out to eat at the cafeteria and had a nice evening visiting with him. Two of my brothers came over on Friday afternoon afternoon and helped me put up the Christmas tree - because my stepdad had told us that he wanted to have Christmas Eve at the house just like we always have. This will be the first Christmas without Mama and I think we've all wanted some kind of 'normalcy'...

When we were home last time (in October) my stepdad told me that he has put the house on the market (there's a sign out front now) and that he wanted me to get all Mama's craft stuff and the 'doll collection' - porcelain dolls that Mama made years ago - out of the house. So after everyone left Friday afternoon, my husband and I started packing stuff up. After we got everything packed and loaded, my stepdad blew up and cursed me out for taking stuff out of the house without his permission and said he 'still has to live there and needs that stuff'. So after a huge argument, we unpaced everything and left a day early. He made accusations that I had no idea he even thought about me and my husband and I'm so hurt now. I don't even know if I'm going home for Christmas now. I talked to my middle brother about it and he said that my stepdad is mourning - which I know is true - but we all are. I just wish he had told me before I started getting stuff that he only wanted me to take SOME of it and not all of it! He accused me of taking it all so I can sell it (my husband and I buy and sell at auctions). No matter how I tried to convince him that that wasn't true, he wouldn't hear it.

I've never been one to be very expressive - especially with negative emotions...I'm sure that has attributed to my weight problem...and I'm having such a hard time with this! I've had a feeling for a long time that my family wasn't all that 'fond' of my husband, but according to my stepdad - he really has never been able to stand him and it breaks my heart because my husband thinks the world of my family. I truly don't know what to do about this situation. I've thought about going Christmas Eve by myself and spending the night with my brother - it's a 5 hour drive down there and it's too much to drive down and back in the same day. I know my husband won't want me making that trip alone - even though I used to do it all the time before we were together. But I also don't want him to go and have to be around people who apparently have never liked him at all!!! Today I feel like saying I'm not going and just cutting all ties with my family for a while. If I go I know they'll all talk about me when I leave so I'm thinking that I might as well not go and then they won't have to wait for me to leave to talk. I know I sound really bitter right now and I am - my heart is just broken and I just needed to vent! This has been the worst Thanksgiving ever...and I'm dreading Christmas now - which has always been my favorite holiday!!!

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to vent!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUSANHGREENE 11/28/2012 4:34PM

    Thanks for the'd think that since I work in the mental health field, I'd be able to come with some kind of solution to this! Joyce - I'm leaning toward your suggestion - I think we might go to the beach for the weekend before Christmas and head home Christmas Eve. emoticon

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JOYCECAIN 11/27/2012 7:23PM

    I t is sad that this had to occur, and that things were said. Christmas is also my favorite time of year, but I am not sure if I would want to be in that situation at the holidays. You must search your heart to see what is best for you. You could stay home and be with hubby, . lol

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SKEPCHICK 11/27/2012 9:14AM

  Not sure what to tell you. Hope it all works out.

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DJ4HEALTH 11/25/2012 11:20PM

    So sorry to hear that they don't like your husband but are you sure that they all feel like that or only your father? I think that you should find out. I read that you talk to your brother and you should ask him about what your dad said. I know that your dad is hurting but something is going on with him and he seems to want to hurt someone just like he is hurting. So find out what is going on with him.

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YAY!! Went for a walk at lunch...

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

So I've been at my new job for 3 days now. Monday I had to go to training 2 hours away so that took all day; yesterday my friend that works in my department convinced me to go out to lunch with her - she promised that she would bring her tennis shoes to walk today...but she forgot them!!! I could have been swayed again to go out with her for lunch but I stuck to what I brought yesterday (Lean Cuisine Pizza) and walked around the block after I ate. The building I work in (mental health center) is an old hospital and it sits up on a hill way off the road. There's a side walk all the way around the front that goes all the way down to the street - I think the whole way around is probably 1/2 a mile...since I got a late start today I only did one lap but tomorrow I'll try doing 2 - even I'm by myself! And hopefully I'll be able to enlist someone to walk with me on a regular basis like I did at my old job!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MJ7DM33 10/24/2012 5:16PM

  Keep up the good work! Even if you have to do it alone! emoticon

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ANNA_SUNGA 10/24/2012 1:16PM

    What a great job. I have a friend who works alot and she informed me that her walk after lunch is sometimes the only exercise she gets.

Its important. Sometimes I feel bad if I only walk 10 minutes on my treadmill but then I just tell myself 10 minutes is better than no minutes!

Keep up the good work!!

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NWLIFESRC 10/24/2012 1:09PM


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....a new job!!!

Sunday, October 21, 2012

I start my new job tomorrow!!! I feel like I did the night before the first day of school when I was little - remember the trouble going to sleep because you're excited about the new beginning? It's going to be a pretty big change for me - I won't be doing case management any more - now I'm going to be doing utilization management - reviewing requests for services - instead of being the one requesting services for people. I think it will be a nice change in some ways - I'm only going to be 11 miles from home so I'll be driving 22 miles round trip instead of 75+ every day! The money I save on gas and car maintenance is going to be like getting a raise!!! AND I won't have to keep a cell phone with me all the time - no more being on call and having late evening meetings! BUT...I will have to be in the office at 8AM (but when I leave at 5PM, I'll be done!) and I'll be sitting at a desk all day. I'm hoping I can find an exercise buddy at work so I can keep up my fitness goals!

I'll come back later and post how my first day goes!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DARLENEK04 10/22/2012 3:03PM

  Good for you.........happy to hear of your blessings....


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DEBBIEDAY 10/22/2012 11:04AM

    emoticon Whooooo hoooo!!! Awesome news Susan!!! Yes-- I'll be praying you find an exercise buddy at work and waiting to hear all about the new job. Sounds much less stressful in so many ways...AWESOME!!!! emoticon

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SKEPCHICK 10/22/2012 1:59AM

  Congratulations and good luck

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Applied for a Job Today....

Friday, August 03, 2012

So the NC legislators voted out the job I do - case management for people with developmental disabilities. My job will end December 31. They have decided to move everyone to a managed care system - there will be a service similar to case management - called care coordination - but case loads will be something like 70 people!!! I have 40 now and have a hard time keeping up now sometimes!

I had been in denial about the whole thing for weeks but it has finally sunk in that I've GOT to do something. So today I applied for a job at the local mental health center in the utilization review department - if I get the job I'll be reviewing requests for services for people with developmental disabilities. I've been doing case management for the last 11 years so I hope I've got a pretty good shot at it! Wish me luck!!!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JOYCECAIN 8/14/2012 8:29PM

    You know I always am wishing you luck.

I walked 6 miles today, and saw a penny on the ground. I picked it up JUST FOR YOU. Our little PENNIES FROM HEAVEN. Love

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PATTK1220 8/4/2012 3:50PM

    I wish you the best! My government job was eliminated a while ago, so I have some idea of the fear you're feeling. It sounds like you have some good support from your agency which is really terrific. I hope you find something soon.

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SUSANHGREENE 8/4/2012 8:05AM

    Thanks for all the support and positive thoughts!!! One of my coworkers has already had her second interview (yesterday) for this I can't wait to talk to her Monday and see how it went!!! I have two friends who already work there in that position (one of them is the supervisor) so I'm really hoping I've got a good chance!

Our agency has announced that we will still be around and providing services - advocacy and other services like 'employer of record' - which allows a person/family to have more control over their if this doesn't work out I'll stay where I am and go on an exciting new journey!

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DEBBIEDAY 8/3/2012 9:46PM

    hugs and prayers for favor and an awesome new job!

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DARLENEK04 8/3/2012 8:53PM

  God Bless and go get 'em chick....


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AANGEL3 8/3/2012 5:32PM

    Good luck!!

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DEBHUT3 8/3/2012 4:17PM

  My worst nightmare! I too am a case manager, or more accurately, a medical case manager for people living with HIV. I worry all the time about loss of funding. We are funded primarily with the Ryan White Fund and don't know what the health care act will do with that program. Sadly, the need is still as great as when I started doing this about 10 years ago. In fact, the epidemic has not improved over about 3 decades.

I wish you all the luck in the world, but hopefully you won't need luck because of your experience and skills! emoticon

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NORWOODGIRL 8/3/2012 4:01PM

    Good luck! I'm thinking only positive thoughts. emoticon

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DOLLFACEDX 8/3/2012 4:00PM

    Much luck to you !! 8-)

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Pennies from Heaven...

Saturday, July 14, 2012

I posted a blog a couple of weeks ago about a poem I read about 'pennies from heaven'. I used to never pick up pennies from the ground (unless they were heads up) until I read this...and one of my fabulous Sparkfriends, Joycecain, reminded me today about this poem. I looked it up and here it is...I drop all my found pennies into our big change jar - maybe we'll have enough money soon for a weekend at the beach (thanks in part to my mom for leaving all those pennies laying around for me)!!!

Pennies from Heaven

I found a penny today
Just laying on the ground
But itís not just a penny
This little coin Iíve found
Found pennies come from heaven
Thatís what my Grandpa told me
He said Angels toss them down
Oh how I loved that story

He said when an angel misses you
They toss a penny down
Sometimes just to cheer you up
To make a smile out of a frown

So donít pass by that penny
When youíre feeling blue
It may be a Penny from Heaven
That an Angelís tossed to you

Copyright © 1998 C Mashburn


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JOYCECAIN 8/14/2012 8:34PM

    I took my walk today, and as I was walking found another penny, just for you. Remembering our little secret. Love

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CATHOLICCORGI 7/22/2012 9:23AM

    I've picked up pennies all of my life... I figured it was an "Irish" thing since my GrandPapa was from Ireland and always said if you found a penny it was God telling you He loved you, so you HAD to pick it up! LOL!
I've never seen the poem! Now it all makes sense! papa must have known about it!
Thanks for sharing it!

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DARLENEK04 7/14/2012 7:10PM

  Awesome.....had never read the whole poem, but I found a penny today in a garage,
of all places.....on the floor, in the dirt..........made me grin as I picked it up.....
Doesn't really matter if it is my Dad, Mom, one of my brothers, grandparents, or a
missing made me think of them and that God is thinking of me....for that
is what my Daddy used to say, a coin found, especially a penny meant God was
thinking of me........


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BLEGNER1 7/14/2012 3:44PM

    It seems as though I have been picking up pennies most of my life. When I do I have to smile because the same words go through my head. "Pennies from heaven for me and you"
You blog made me simile

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