Sunday, March 23, 2014
My scale broke yesterday. Well, not broke so much as the battery ran out. Not surprised, seeing as how I use that sucker every day. When I'm "on the wagon" anyway.
So I realized I'd have to figure out other ways to track/see and celebrate the small victories that keep me on the right path to getting healthier. See, I feel like getting healthier is the ticket. If I eat better and exercise more, the whole "getting skinny" thing will pretty much take care of itself. So I figured I'd just make a note and celebrate on the days I worked out, or on the days when I didn't share in the after dinner "sweet treat". And I could count those as victories towards the bigger victory of noticing changes in my body.
But guess what I noticed today? My jeans are a little loose! Now, I'll admit, these are the jeans that I haven't washed in God knows how long because when I wash them, I have to spend the first day stretching them back out again! Should I be wearing the next size up? Yup. But I refuse to buy them and instead am working towards them being the right size. So, going a week without washing the one pair of jeans I own is not uncommon for me. A little gross? Maybe. But it is what it is.
Today at my son's soccer game, walking across the field after the game, I noticed my jeans were feeling a little loose. The scale hasn't changed much, but the fit of the jeans has. And in the past couple of months, even without washing them frequently, they were still snug.
So, I'll take that small victory and I'll wash those jeans. And that first day, I'll probably still have to stretch them out a bit, but I'm definitely on my way to being in the right size!
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
It's kind of like the time/space continuum, which, never having taken physics, I couldn't even begin to explain to you. I read A Wrinkle in Time, but that's about the extent of my quantum physics education.
Anyway, I will admit, there are days when I don't/can't work out. I mean, I can walk for ten minutes waiting to pick up a kid off the bus, but the whole "workout clothes, getting sweaty, committing a half hour to an hour of my day", on some days, just can't happen. As long as that one day of no official workout doesn't turn into 2 and then 4 and then a week and then two months, I'm pretty good. Life happens, I get it and it's okay.
And then you have food. There's good for you food and then there's food that you can have on occasion and then there's food that, for you, is a no no. Is it a slippery slope tripper upper? Will that first bite lead to an all out binge? Those foods, for me, are dangerous. I try to avoid those unless I'm feeling particularly strong that day.
Recently I realized that the food/workout continuum exists in my life. My guess is it probably exists for most people. My food choices are a BIG part of my weight loss and the exercise is also important, but on some days, maybe not as important. Maybe those two are in a relationship and the weaknesses of one can be overcome by the strengths of the other. Meaning, as long as I make good choices with at least one, I'll get things accomplished in meeting my goals. If I'm strong with both? Honey, then I can move mountains!
Friday, January 17, 2014
Years ago, I had a conversation with a man. He was the dad of a boy my son played hockey with and was in great shape himself. I don't remember how we got started talking about food but at some point in the conversation he said, "Food is more of an inconvenience. I eat it because I have to, but sometimes it's a pain."
That statement has stuck with me for years because I remember at the time feeling jealousy. I remember thinking, "How awesome would it be to not have food dominate every single solitary waking moment of my life? How cool would it be to eat only the foods that were good for me simply because they were the sustenance my body needed and not involved with this bored, lonely, angry, sad, emotional rollercoaster that seems to be the story of my eating life?"
A few weeks ago I was having a conversation with my sister who also has a very healthy relationship with food. She is my sounding board when I need help or support and she's wonderful and amazing. At some point in the conversation I was quite upset at my seemingly constant struggle with food and feeding my family healthy and delicious meals they will eat. She called me back later and said that something had occurred to her. She doesn't really love people. She doesn't enjoy meeting people or being in crowds or just in general dealing with people who aren't in her small circle of cherished friends and family. She asked me if I would rather have a problem with food or if I would prefer to dislike people. Without even a moments hesitation, I stated that I would rather have a problem with food. I could easily answer that it hurts me to think about not enjoying people and being around them and meeting new people and interacting with darn near everybody I meet. And she said, "there you go."
So maybe food and I won't ever be "just friends". Maybe we're always destined to have at least a challenging relationship. But given my genetic options, to be honest, I wouldn't want it any other way! Oh, and I really love my sister!
Friday, November 01, 2013
I heard someone say once that every negative feeling we have is based in fear. And in her meditations, on her inhales, she would breathe in a "good" word, i.e. strength, patience, focus, happiness, peace, etc. to encourage bringing that good thing into her life. But on the exhale, she would breathe out the word "fear" to release fear from her body. Fear of not being good enough, fear of what others think, fear of failing, fear of rejection, all of these things that were bringing negativity into her body.
Hopped back on my wagon recently, but the numbers (food log, scale, etc.) are showing that I'm not all the way back on the wagon. I may be dragging one foot behind or maybe only walking beside it, and not truly sitting in the driver's seat getting this thing going! And this morning I was thinking about why that was and I think it ties back to fear. I'm afraid of doing a workout that hurts. I'm afraid of injuring myself while doing a new workout. I'm afraid of not getting this right again and being right back here at some point, whether it's six months, a year or ten years down the road. I'm afraid of failure. I'm afraid of not getting support from people around me. I'm afraid of the challenge and not being able to rise to meet and conquer the challenge.
But the point of exercise is not to go out and be comfortable for a half hour each day. It's to challenge my body in ways I didn't think I could handle and then truly celebrating when I'm able to do more each day than I could do the day before. So today, I'm going to work on that one fear. I'll let that one go for today. I may fall over in a yoga position. I may have to alter an exercise or take a quick break, but I don't have to stop and I don't have to quit.
I have other fears to work on getting rid of, but today's fear I'm letting go.
Monday, October 28, 2013
I mentioned, in the last year, to my best friend, that I had found some stretches to do, post-run, that help me avoid that terrible muscle soreness whenever I've restarted a running routine. Her response? Stop quitting and then you won't need those!!
Hmmm, there's a novel idea! Stop quitting and just keep doing it. Well, that's how all of it's supposed to work right? Stop quitting eating right, stop quitting going to bed on time and getting enough sleep, stop quitting moving every day. If I'd just stop quitting, I feel like this whole process would be less like walking up and down huge mountains and would be more like a gentle climb up a nice hill, maybe with refreshing breeze and a beautiful view.
It's time to stop quitting and start keeping on keeping on doing what I'm supposed to be doing and what makes me feel better doing if just for the simple fact that I know I've consciously done something that will benefit me in so many ways!
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