Wednesday, October 09, 2013
I haven't been on SparkPeople much lately because the processor fan on my computer bit the dust and in fixing it something else broke on it, so now we're waiting for parts to build a new computer for me! Woo hoo! Its been probably four years since I've upgraded so its time. Merry Early Christmas to me and thank goodness for credit cards.
But, even if my computer was fine, I've just been so darn busy around the house I wouldn't have time to log on anyway! My daughter's 2nd birthday is this weekend, and I like to go all out. A theme, games, decorations, and as much of it DIY as I can, because darn it parties are expensive enough before you start buying everything for it. We have family driving in from a couple states away and all will descend on our house this weekend (this is normal for my husband's family). I love kid party planning. This year The Wee One wants a Bubble Guppies party. I like to make the pinata by hand and have so much planned for decorations, plus cleaning all the bedrooms/kitchen/living room/dining room.
And somewhere last weekend I thought to myself "I'd really like to paint the dining room." I knew perfectly well this was going to be a stressful and busy week, but heck, it'll be fun! And it was! I love painting and since buying our first home we haven't really done any beautification at all. The walls NEEDED it. So the dining room is a very night darker shade of green and it works perfectly.
Well, I couldn't leave well enough alone and looked at the grungy paint job on the hallway next to the dining room and thought it wouldn't take much while I was at it to go get a different color and paint that. And while I was at Home Depot I thought about how nice it would be to have the bathroom painted. And don't forget white for all the trim. I'm still working on a little touch up in all the rooms but I did finally get everything painted, and that was after not liking the first color in the hallway and painting it again. Another Amen to the credit card we recently paid off!
What about the party planning, Kerry? I am that good, ladies and gents. Of course I press play in the morning when my kid gets on the bus and don't stop until bedtime, but I feel like flexing my multi-tasking muscles and striking a pose.
One additional plus to all of this work is that I've actually lost three pounds this week from all the ups and downs and stretches and crunches and standing on my tip-toes and painting far above my head while balancing on the sides of the tub! Because I've been so busy, the thought of eating rarely pops into my head, so I eat a little at mealtimes and then get back to the grind. I haven't snacked at night in a few days, which is HUGE because that is my M.O.
I know this will all come to an end once the work is finished and the party is over, but I'm hoping the motivation stays with me. For this stay-at-home mom, the trick might very well be Just Keep Moving.
Thursday, September 26, 2013
I just got done with my 45 minute workout and I have about ten minutes to type this blog before I need to hop in the shower so I can get out and get my daughter off the bus in a half hour. I want to write it all down while I'm still psyched!
So, I've had this video for a while: Cardio Burn Weight Loss by Madeleine Lewis (less than $7 at Amazon! What a steal!) produced by Gaiam. It is a step up from the walking DVDs but not all dancy and definitely something you can easily follow. There are three different women doing three different variations of the workout. I waver between the easy and medium. I love it because I can follow it easily, moves aren't complicated, I work up a sweat really quickly and I can feel it working!
I've been overweight my whole life which has essentially killed my knees. When I go up stairs or do lunges and squats it sounds like there are Rice Crispies behind my knee caps. Plus, when I was 20 pounds heavier a number of years ago I decided to climb a mountain with a group of friends. I'm pretty sure I tore something, because I could barely walk for weeks, but heath care costs being what they are I could never afford to have them checked out. SO, the lunges and squats were challenging for that reason, but I still did them effectively and feel they worked.
I found the trick to having my almost two year old in the room is to give her my iPhone to play with. It has mostly educational games on it for her and her sister anyhow. She was entertained with that for about a half hour so I could get the bulk of the workout done. When I started the cool down at the end she thought that looked like a lot of fun and decided I was a jungle gym, crawling under my legs, jumping on my back, sitting on the back of my head. This is usually a reason I find it difficult to work out at home, but it occurred to me that this is a good thing. I want her to see me working out. I want her to have fun with me doing it. I want her to be able to look back at this kind of thing when she's a teenager and hates the world to know how much we had fun and how much I love her.
Ok, I can see the smell lines wafting from my body. Time to hop in the shower and get ready for the Wild Child to get off the bus from pre-k.
Monday, September 23, 2013
So, I was pretty disappointed in myself while writing my previous blog, I sucked it up, bundled the Wee One up in three layers and a hat and took a walk. Yep, it was still 45 out. And windy. I only walked about 1.5 miles down the road a while and back, but that was enough. We live on a fast road with some blind corners I didn't feel safe pushing a stroller on. I do feel better for getting out there and moving. Besides wanting to get some exercise in, I really just wanted to show myself up. Ok, Spark. Its on. Let the fight begin. I'm going to be king of the mountain.
Monday, September 23, 2013
***I'm not proud of this blog post. Actually I'm really annoyed by it because its basically me complaining about why I suck. They're not good excuses, but they're mine. I'm not looking for anything from anyone by writing it, just need to get it out and get it down so I can move on. I hope.***
Hi Spark. Well, here it is, the end of September. I think about you all the time, but I just haven't been able to bring myself to visit. I suppose it is safe to say I've fallen off the proverbial wagon. God I hate that saying. By saying I fell one would assume I got hurt, but it was rather easy and comfortable. I'd rather it did hurt, so I could know it happened and I'd be prompted to fix the pain!
I've been tired. I've been not exercising. I've been not really caring what I eat. I love eating, rather I love cooking and discovering new things to create. It feels artistic and fulfilling. I just hate the eating it part. I know I shouldn't eat all the bad crap I do, but I get so frustrated with the mathematical problem that is a balanced weight loss eating regimen I just sigh and push it to the back of my mind. I want a pill I take that satiates any hunger and cravings I have so I don't need to worry about eating. I've been canning a lot. Its apple season here in NY and the beginning of baking season! Half of me is excited, the other half disgusted. Apples by themselves are delicious of course, but they are so versatile, the fun part is turning them in to something else! So far the only thing I've made with the 3 pecks I've picked has been jam. I'm dying to bake a pie but I think I hate myself enough right now as it is without eating pie. Man, I love pie.
My four-year-old just started pre-k, so I have to be somewhat coherent in the morning to get her on the bus. I don't do mornings. Plus, my almost 2-year-old is a morning person and gets up at 5:30 every morning, and she usually wakes up at least once in the very early morning around 3 and needs to be covered back up. And I work at night from home so I'm usually up until midnight. I don't sleep much. I am so tired. I've already had two large cups of coffee this morning and I can barely keep my eyes open. I would give anything for my daughter to take an early nap so I could do the same. Right now is probably not the best time to write a blog because I am super whiny. Whatever, deal with it. You have my permission to stop reading.
One more gripe about myself then I'll be done, I promise.
I think about exercising all the time; I am right now. I recognize right now to be a perfect time to do so, but I'm not. I'm exhausted (see previous paragraph) plus with a two-year-old at home with me every time I try she thinks its play time and gets under foot or needs something. Boy that sounds really lame when I write it down. When I do have energy in the morning and the older kid is gone on the bus, sometimes I bring the Wee One to the local walking path at the high school, but its frappin cold out, 45 degrees and right now I'd rather be stung by bees than hang out outside. I need some alone time to concentrate on myself, but I rarely get any. I stay home with my kids during the day, then as soon as they're in bed at night I start work. I am totally jealous of my husband. He gets home from work around 5, we eat dinner, then he usually goes out and gets to the gym or bikes while I sit home with the girls. I'd never take that time away from him. He is doing great and has lost 8 pounds over the summer. I'm extremely proud of him, just wish I had the same opportunity and motivation. He wants to change so he makes time for it. I don't feel like I have that luxury. By the time my husband gets home from that its bath time and bed time for the girls and then work time for me. Do you know when I picture that kind of time for myself? In a year from now when my youngest is in nursery school and I have two hours to myself. A year. My only "free" time would be right now, I'd just have to deal with the Wee One. And being tired. And grumpy apparently. Ugh, I'm so annoying.
I've been feeling that Spark isn't structured enough for me. Certain diets that exclude particular types of food seem appealing these days because they have rules and there is no gray area. Spark People is all gray area. You have to be informed and intelligent and constantly tuned in to yourself. You have to juggle. I want the diet that is set in stone, where someone decides for me. I know Spark People has the meal options where they spell out what you should eat that day, but most everything is something I don't currently have or something the rest of my family won't eat. See? More whining. Really Kerry. STFU. Anyhow, I have thought about doing a slimfast type diet with protein shakes for breakfast and lunch then a regular dinner. I have thought about finding the money somewhere to join Weight Watchers. But those are all just products. Why would I spend money when it probably isn't going to work anyhow?
I know that was two gripes. Sue me.
So, its going to suck and be uncomfortable but damnit Kerry, get off your fat, lazy ass and get moving. You're succumbing to your genetics. You look like your dad did at your age and you see how huge he is now! Where is the super hero you know you are? I promise you, you will be happy in the long run, so WTF is stopping you?
That concludes Kerry's bitchfest. Sorry you sat through that all, but thanks. I just needed an ear, err...keyboard. I believe in myself. I really do. I just need to stop believing in tomorrow and start believing in today.
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