Tuesday, May 01, 2012
Hello, everyone. Well, it's been a couple months since I blogged and I'm happy to report that I've reached my goal weight and am maintaining. My goal weight was 117 lbs and when I weighed in the morning after returning from Arizona (April 9th), I was at 117.2 pounds. Needless to say, I was quite happy! Since that time I've been hovering right around my goal... sometimes up to 118 or a little over and sometimes, like this morning, a little below. I think 116.2 is the lowest I got during April and 118.2 was the heighest. So basically going back and forth within a pound below and a pound above. Pretty good if I do say so myself!
So, how did I achieve this weight loss after struggling so much in the months before? I have to admit that the weight loss itself just kind of happened and it's only the maintaining that I've had to think about. This is probably TMI for most of you, but I've always had bowel issues as far as regularity goes and it's gotten worse and worse the older I've gotten. I tried everything in the past, including drinking a gallon of prune juice a day, to no avail. (I finally realized I'm one of the few people who has more trouble the more fiber I take in... my body doesn't seem to process it correctly.) Even oral laxatives (which are not supposed to be taken on a regular basis anyway) don't have much effect on me. Early this year I finally began using suppositories (I know... ick, ick, ick ...I'd been told to do it years before but just couldn't stand the thought). Anyway, that was helping and I was going at least a little bit most days but I still felt bloated and huge. It seemed to get worse as the time to leave for Arizona approached and though my weight didn't go up too far, my pants were getting tighter and tighter. By the time we got to Arizona, I felt horrible and nothing fit anymore. Then, shortly after getting there, I suddenly felt desperately sick and my stomach was absolutely killing me. I ended up running to the toilet all evening long and "off loading" more than I've ever done in my life and more than I knew one human being could hold! By the end, it was soooo black and sooo stinky (like I said... massive TMI here). And guess what?.... I lost 7 pounds that night! I sure didn't feel good at the time but if I had to do it all over again I would because I felt wonderful afterwards. I felt like a completely new person! I've never felt so good in my entire life!
Well, since getting that "head start", I've tried to be very conscious of what I eat, making sure to eat in moderation. Not only to keep my weight down, but because my body seems to need lots of extra time to digest and process foods and if I put too much in there it just seems to get stuck and backed up. I still have to use the suppositories to keep things flowing and I've had a couple times when I worried that I might be starting to plug up again, but it just lasted for a few days and I cut back on what I was eating to try and give things time to clear out.
So just to make it clear to anyone that might be worried... I've been given the ok to use the suppositories on a daily basis (they're not addictive and won't mess up your body more) and I am eating enough to fulfill my daily calorie requirement. Plus, I'm definitely not someone that could ever become anorexic. I love food waaaayyy too much for that to happen.
Ok... that's my story. I kept meaning to blog in April after I got back but I was kind of worried that once I wrote down my success it would disappear. Silly, I know but I just wanted to keep my little success to myself for a bit.
I hope you all have a great spring and start summer on an upswing!
Sunday, March 04, 2012
So, I suppose I should add a blog since I said I was going to be doing one blog each month and I haven't done one for this month yet. I'm having a really tough time.
February just went down the tubes for me. I did really good the first couple weeks of the month, sticking to my points almost every day and only going a bit over on a few days here and there. Plus I did my exercises every day and jogged three miles almost every day. The results were less than satisfying. I only lost 1/2 a lb. Then I dropped the ball completely. Well, not completely. There were some days that I still stuck to my points and I never really pigged out big time but I didn't exercise at all the last two weeks of the month and I ended up gaining back a couple pounds. By the end of the month I had only lost 4 of the 10 pounds I wanted to lose before heading to Arizona and didn't even feel like coming down here. I had promised myself that even if I didn't lost weight I would be feeling in shape from exercising but that wasn't the case either.
When I packed for the vacation, I just stuck every pair of shorts and every t-shirt and tank top I own into the suitcase. I knew if I went through the process of trying them all on I would just get more depressed. Today is our first complete day down here and it's supposed to end up being 81 degrees for the high. In the past I would have been elated about that. I love heat! As it is, I was blah, blah, blah because I needed to figure out what to wear. I grabbed a batch of clothes and tried them on, became more depressed and spent another hour in my pajamas before finally making up my mind what to wear. Of course, in addition to the whole weight thing, I'm not getting any younger and feel like my skin has that "old lady" look to it. Not sure what else to call it. I'm not really plagued by cellulite... it's just sort of an "untoned" look that I feel creeps up as you age and can be staved off a bit by exercise but never completely gotten rid of.
As for heading out to the pool for a bit... blah, I don't even want to think about that. I really ought to buy a new bathing suit. Even though I weigh about the same right now as I did when I bought it around eight years ago (at least, I did when we left home) I'm positive this suit has shrunk. I know people always say that but it's really true with this (I think). When I hold the thing up at my shoulders, it only reaches down to a little past my waist so of course when I stretch it out to fit it ends up scrunching the sides in more. It's already one of those spandex type materials so it's pretty scrunchy to begin wtih. Which also means it flattens me out on top and there isn't much there to flatten out to begin with! The last couple times we've been down here (so even when I was 10 pounds lighter) I've told myself to go buy a new suit but shopping for bathing suits is a chore I dread. Even without considering how I look in it, it's so difficult to find ones that I consider modest enough.... I like a one piece with legs that are not cut too high and a front that covers me up.. even though there's not much to show.
OK... that was my pity party, blah-blah-blah-blah. Now it's time to snap out of it. My husband says I think far too much about myself. And it's true. Although I have to say that if I were single I wouldn't think nearly so much about myself because I don't really care what other people think about me when it's just me. But when I'm with my husband I'm worried people will look at me and feel sorry for him, wondering why he married me. Sometimes I'm even afraid he'll feel sorry for himself.
Alright... snap out of it. I need to get myself focused on what's really important in life, which has nothing to do with me and only to do with God. I need to find that positive mentality and remember that this is the day the Lord has made. He's given me blessing upon blessing and all I do is sit around depressed. Here I am in Arizona and I'm blah! That's just wrong! Maybe I just need to get out in the sunshine and listen to the bird's singing.
My mission for the next month is to forget about myself and focus on the beauty of God's world around me. To take the blessings he's given me and enjoy them to the fullest. To live the life I've been given with a smile on my face and happiness in my heart. To let the peace that passes all understanding fill me up. To arrive at April with a sunnier outlook on life! See you then!
Wednesday, February 01, 2012
Well, January has come and gone and it's time for my second post of the year. The beginning of February brings new things to look forward to and new goals to attain.
Although I did not quite reach my goal of losing 6 lbs and I could choose to be frustrated about that since I technically lost 8 lbs but then gained 3 back, I'm choosing to be happy with the 5 lbs I did lose and rejoice in the fact that I'm starting out this month 5 lbs lighter than last month. After all, it's definitely better than the opposite - starting the month 5 lbs heavier!
So I began this journey at 127 lbs and weighed in this morning at 122 lbs. It's true that I could have done better. I could have exercised more, I could have avoided a lot of the foods I ate the last week of the month, I could have ended the month with a lot more success, but that's all behind me and I'm ready to tackle a new month. A month in which I hope to make it to my goal of 117 lbs. and be consistent with my exercising.
Part of the reason I would like to do well this month is because we're still planning to head down to Phoenix for at least a month somewhere around the beginning of March and I would love to be feeling fit and healthy when we leave. So my plan for this month is to try extra hard to stick to my points range (18-23 pts) as many days as possible and on those days when I don't count points (like this Saturday when we're going to my son's house for dinner) to still eat sensible portions. I'm also going to try and do my toning exercises at least 6 days a week. Although I also want to do some walking and get back to hot yoga until we leave, it's the toning exercises that I'm really determined to be strict about. They don't take that long and can be done at home so there's really no excuse for slacking off on them.
My plan is to be as careful as possible up until the time we leave for Arizona (could be at the end of the month, could be sooner, could be later) and weigh in on the day before we leave (or on the first day of March, whichever comes sooner). Once we leave for Arizona, I will no longer be actively counting points or tracking my exercising (right now I've got a chart I put up by my desk here for the month of February so each day I can write down how many points I had for the day and what I did in the way of exercising). Once we leave for Arizona, I don't want to think about dieting or exercising at all. The reason for this is that we've spent time in Arizona every year except last year for about six years and every time we've gone down there I've always come back with my weight at a good spot. It seems like I just naturally do better with my eating and exercising while I'm there (maybe because I'm such a sun lover and feeling the heat soak into my bones does me a world of good) and I don't want to do anything to mess up that "natural cycle".
So that's the plan... try as hard as I can to do really well until we leave for Arizona, then weigh in and blog on the day before we leave. I hope to make it to my goal weight but even if I don't, at least I'll know I did all I could to try and get there and I'll be somewhat in shape from the exercising. You can wish me luck but if I get through this it won't be because of luck, it will be sheer determination! I know God has given me the willpower and the strength to do it, though!
Have a wonderful February and a Happy Valentine's Day!
Sunday, January 01, 2012
Hello, everyone and welcome to the first blog of what will eventually be 13 blogs for the year 2012. That's one blog on the 1st of each month reviewing the accomplishments of the previous month and outlining the goals for the coming month, plus one final blog looking back on 2012 as the year draws to a close.
Being as this is the very first blog, there were obviously no accomplishments in the previous month. However, I would like to take a moment to comment that I have had many struggles with binge eating and allowing my "weight pendulum" to swing up and down in huge arcs, rather than staying in a smaller, healthier range. This is the main cycle that I am trying to break as I head into 2012. The farther along I get in years (I'm currently 50 years old - turning 51 in April) the more I feel it would be much healthier for me if I could come to a place where my eating habits are more regulated and every holiday or get together does not signal an eating frenzy.
As I head into January, my plans for beginning my weight loss are firmly in my mind and involve using the older "points" system from Weight Watchers. My allowable points per day with this system are 18-23, so my plan is to eat no more than 15 points before dinner and then limit myself to 1-1/2 cups of dinner food. It is my experience that 1-1/2 cups of most meals keeps me within the target range as long as I haven't had more than 15 points earlier in the day. Should we happen to go out to eat on any given day I'm not going to worry about the points or measurements but I am going to make sure and order sensibly based on my past experience in dieting. I will only eat after dinner if I happened to have a busy day and didn't eat enough to be healthy prior to dinner. In that case I will allow myself a sensible snack to make up for the missed calories.
I do have a 10 day trip coming up in January to my daughter's home, so I may have to adjust my eating somewhat at that time. However, my daughter would also like to lose some weight so that should help keep me on track while I'm gone. My hope is to lose 5 pounds before I leave, maintain the weight loss while I'm gone, and lose another pound after I get home, for a total weight loss of 6 pounds during the month of January.
My current weight is 127 since I just added a few more pounds over Christmas. As my weight ticker at the bottom of my page shows, I'm trying for a total weight loss of 10 pounds to get down to 117 pounds. Once I achieve that, I will change my ticker from a "pounds lost" system to a maintenance range with 114 at the bottom end and 120 at the top end. It is my overall goal to stay within that range for the rest of the year once I've made it there. While I'm fairly comfortable up to 123 (as long as I'm exercising), I find that once I top 120 I'm more prone to binge eating and allowing my weight to begin creeping upwards. Likewise, once I get below 114 I find that I get too concerned about every little thing I eat and how it might be affecting my weight gain, so I'd like to keep from getting too far down. I don't think that one will be a problem!
Well, I haven't addressed my exercise goals for the month but I'm still keeping those fairly loose while trying to do all I can to increase the exercising. I currently do hot yoga twice a week and would like to keep that up along with doing as much walking as possible. However, I do have the 10 day trip plus my other daughter and her family are moving in with us before the trip for around 9 days before they move to Japan with the Air Force, so that may affect how much I do. My toning exercises are something I do at home on my own and only take about 1/2 an hour so I definitely want to try and fit those in almost every day. They are the one thing which is easiest to fit in no matter where I am or what else is going on.
Okay, I think this blog has gone on long enough but before I go I will just say that while I will only be posting a new blog at the beginning of each month, I will be weighing in each Sunday morning and changing the weight loss ticker as needed. Thanks for reading this and I pray that you will each have a joyous and successful month. Don't forget to rejoice in the Lord as you continue on your journey!
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