Wise Words from Wise Women

Sunday, August 05, 2012

I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. - Gilda Radner

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson

Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed as an assistant professor. It is for a woman schlemiel to get as quickly promoted as a male schlemiel. - Bella Abzug

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. - Gloria Steinem

If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? - Linda Ellerbee

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night. - Marie Corelli

I think--therefore I'm single. - Lizz Winstead

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. - Katharine Hepburn

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WILSON425 8/9/2012 8:10AM

Perfect! Report Inappropriate Comment

NAYPOOIE 8/6/2012 1:07PM

I'm with Lizz. Report Inappropriate Comment

13610511 8/6/2012 10:16AM

Priceless and true!! Thank you for posting! Report Inappropriate Comment

CJSARGENT1 8/6/2012 9:11AM

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COACHPENNY 8/6/2012 4:28AM

And that's just what Hepburn did with Tracy. Report Inappropriate Comment

SUSANBEAMON 8/6/2012 2:31AM

Read them all before and they still are true, and wise. Report Inappropriate Comment

BEARGODDESS 8/5/2012 10:50PM

Every one of those is priceless!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

EVER WONDER

Sunday, August 05, 2012

Oldie but goodie...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ILOVETOCRUISE 8/14/2012 7:42AM

Another one "Why do they call it rush hour?" Report Inappropriate Comment

ALICERIEGER 8/7/2012 2:02PM

Thanks - I needed a chuckle. Report Inappropriate Comment

MISSDAISY23 8/6/2012 4:48PM

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HELEN_BRU 8/5/2012 10:32PM

Good ones! Report Inappropriate Comment

ATLTRAINR 8/5/2012 10:10PM

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COACHPENNY 8/5/2012 4:30PM

I especially wonder about the second to the last one..... Report Inappropriate Comment

BEARGODDESS 8/5/2012 4:15PM

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HWNHMMBRD 8/5/2012 3:46PM

Thank you for sharing, made me smile! Report Inappropriate Comment

BARCLE 8/5/2012 3:43PM

Some great ponderisms there Report Inappropriate Comment

SUNSHINE65 8/5/2012 3:40PM

Wonder why they didn't add... Why do we park in a driveway and drive on a parkway? Report Inappropriate Comment

Homeless

Saturday, August 04, 2012

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ATLTRAINR 8/5/2012 10:11PM

Wonderful! Report Inappropriate Comment

BEARGODDESS 8/5/2012 8:36PM

Lol! A la Mittens Romley!! Report Inappropriate Comment

SUNSHINE65 8/5/2012 7:58PM

My husband said: "I was uneducated and I told you to get money from your parents." Report Inappropriate Comment

COACHPENNY 8/5/2012 4:29PM

For the grace of God go we. Report Inappropriate Comment

ALICERIEGER 8/5/2012 1:36PM

Good lesson Report Inappropriate Comment

ALIHIKES 8/5/2012 1:10PM

Very pointed and very true! Loved it! Report Inappropriate Comment

CJSARGENT1 8/5/2012 12:45PM

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IDLETYME 8/5/2012 7:50AM

Beautiful poster! Share your blessings with the less fortunate!! Report Inappropriate Comment

MRSTAZMAYO 8/5/2012 6:07AM

Amen! Report Inappropriate Comment

STEELKICKIN 8/4/2012 11:39PM

So true...so many of the homeless are there not because they want to be. So easily it could be one of us on that sidewalk. Just one change in circumstance. One wrong turn. We are to have compassion. I think that we as a society have become desensitized to these things by our media or have turned our heads because it is too difficult to view. Thank you for this. God bless you... Report Inappropriate Comment

BEARGODDESS 8/4/2012 11:33PM

I cannot say RIGHT ON!! loudly enough to this!! Beautiful! I LOVE this poster! Comment edited on: 8/4/2012 11:34:29 PM Report Inappropriate Comment

Conditions Improve in Hell

Saturday, August 04, 2012

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer ˜ you're in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is becoming a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and asks with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?" Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next." God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake ˜ he should never have gotten down there; send him up here." Satan says, "No way! I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him." God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue." Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALICERIEGER 8/10/2012 8:43AM

Good one Report Inappropriate Comment

MISSDAISY23 8/5/2012 11:30PM

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ATLTRAINR 8/5/2012 10:12PM

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COACHPENNY 8/5/2012 9:15PM

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NAYPOOIE 8/5/2012 2:15PM

Great one. Report Inappropriate Comment

OCTOBERBORN 8/5/2012 9:19AM

Thanks for the morning laugh! Report Inappropriate Comment

-LINDA_S 8/4/2012 9:56PM

That was great! Report Inappropriate Comment

HELEN_BRU 8/4/2012 9:44PM

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USMAWIFE 8/4/2012 9:12PM

cute Report Inappropriate Comment

Deep Thoughts About Pigs and Sheep

Saturday, August 04, 2012

Do you think sheep know when you're pulling the wool over their eyes?

Does the person who inventories sheep often fall asleep on the job?

If a pig is sold to the pawn shop is it then called a ham-hock?

If we make sweaters out of a sheep's hair, what do the sheep use to make sweaters?

If you can't make a silk purse from a sow's ear what can you make with it?

If you pushed a pig down a hill would he be a sausage roll?

What do pigs say when they don't want to do something? Would it be 'Yea when humans fly'?

What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep?

Why can't pigs look up into the sky?

Why do pigs have curly tails?

Why do we call them guinea pigs when they are neither from Guinea nor are they pigs?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why is it that only pigs and humans can get sunburn?

Why is it that the first thing we try to do after killing a pig is to cure it?

Would a small pig be called a hamlet?

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALICERIEGER 8/11/2012 11:10AM

LOL Report Inappropriate Comment

NAYPOOIE 8/5/2012 2:16PM

I love cured pig. Report Inappropriate Comment

CCHEF1 8/4/2012 8:57PM

Lol, good questions. Loved this blog. Report Inappropriate Comment