SUNSHINE65   62,822
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What was the baker thinking?

Monday, August 06, 2012

When my coworker Donsa was promoted, we decided to celebrate. Her boss called the baker and ordered a cake.

"Two questions," said the baker. "Is Donsa a man or a woman? And what do you want the cake to say?"

"The cake should read 'Congratulations'" the boss said. "Oh, and Donsa's a woman." The next day, the office celebrated with a cake that read "Congratulations--Donsa's a woman."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CJSARGENT1 8/8/2012 10:21AM

    emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 8/7/2012 1:59PM

    It's all about communcations.

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MISSDAISY23 8/7/2012 11:37AM

    emoticon

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ATLTRAINR 8/7/2012 5:28AM

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SCOOTDOG 8/6/2012 10:43PM

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COACHPENNY 8/6/2012 9:39PM

    That would be interesting water-cooler fodder.

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AQUAGIRL08 8/6/2012 6:59PM

    emoticon

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REDRUDY5 8/6/2012 6:11PM

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SUCCESS-AMT 8/6/2012 5:26PM

  I thinjk there was no real communication. He needed to just leave off that last par. Was the cake good? emoticon

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Eating Chocolate

Monday, August 06, 2012

Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.

The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less.

Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. You can't let that happen, can you?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ILOVETOCRUISE 8/9/2012 10:40AM

    l love this and it makes sense.

MRSVK11-I like this also.

emoticon emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 8/9/2012 10:34AM

    Perfect logic

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NAYPOOIE 8/7/2012 3:38PM

    Makes sense to me.

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CJSARGENT1 8/7/2012 11:14AM

    emoticon

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OCTOBERBORN 8/7/2012 8:40AM

    Love your logic! emoticon emoticon

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BLKLILY 8/6/2012 10:59PM

    cute emoticon

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MRSVK11 8/6/2012 7:09PM

    Love it !!! I've come up with the 4 new food groups...chocolate, caffine, sugar and chemicals if you eat a chocolate bar with a diet coke you cover all four food groups so it's a balanced meal... emoticon

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AQUAGIRL08 8/6/2012 7:00PM

    emoticon Thanks for the chuckle!

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BEARGODDESS 8/6/2012 5:13PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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COACHPENNY 8/6/2012 4:13PM

    STOP! I already had enough excuses to EAT MORE CHOCOLATE!

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Wise Words from Wise Women

Sunday, August 05, 2012

I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. - Gilda Radner

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson

Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed as an assistant professor. It is for a woman schlemiel to get as quickly promoted as a male schlemiel. - Bella Abzug

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. - Gloria Steinem

If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? - Linda Ellerbee

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night. - Marie Corelli

I think--therefore I'm single. - Lizz Winstead

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. - Katharine Hepburn

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WILSON425 8/9/2012 8:10AM

    Perfect!

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NAYPOOIE 8/6/2012 1:07PM

    I'm with Lizz.

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13610511 8/6/2012 10:16AM

    Priceless and true!!

Thank you for posting!

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CJSARGENT1 8/6/2012 9:11AM

    emoticon

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COACHPENNY 8/6/2012 4:28AM

    And that's just what Hepburn did with Tracy.

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SUSANBEAMON 8/6/2012 2:31AM

  Read them all before and they still are true, and wise.

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BEARGODDESS 8/5/2012 10:50PM

    Every one of those is priceless!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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EVER WONDER

Sunday, August 05, 2012

Oldie but goodie...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ILOVETOCRUISE 8/14/2012 7:42AM

    Another one "Why do they call it rush hour?"

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ALICERIEGER 8/7/2012 2:02PM

    Thanks - I needed a chuckle.

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MISSDAISY23 8/6/2012 4:48PM

    emoticon

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HELEN_BRU 8/5/2012 10:32PM

    Good ones! emoticon

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ATLTRAINR 8/5/2012 10:10PM

    emoticon emoticon

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COACHPENNY 8/5/2012 4:30PM

    I especially wonder about the second to the last one.....

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BEARGODDESS 8/5/2012 4:15PM

    emoticon emoticon

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HWNHMMBRD 8/5/2012 3:46PM

    Thank you for sharing, made me smile! emoticon

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BARCLE 8/5/2012 3:43PM

    Some great ponderisms there emoticon

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SUNSHINE65 8/5/2012 3:40PM

    Wonder why they didn't add...

Why do we park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?

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Homeless

Saturday, August 04, 2012

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ATLTRAINR 8/5/2012 10:11PM

    Wonderful!

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BEARGODDESS 8/5/2012 8:36PM

    Lol! A la Mittens Romley!!

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SUNSHINE65 8/5/2012 7:58PM

    My husband said: "I was uneducated and I told you to get money from your parents."

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COACHPENNY 8/5/2012 4:29PM

    For the grace of God go we.

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ALICERIEGER 8/5/2012 1:36PM

    Good lesson

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ALIHIKES 8/5/2012 1:10PM

    Very pointed and very true! Loved it!

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CJSARGENT1 8/5/2012 12:45PM

    emoticon

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IDLETYME 8/5/2012 7:50AM

    Beautiful poster! Share your blessings with the less fortunate!! emoticon

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MRSTAZMAYO 8/5/2012 6:07AM

    Amen!


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STEELKICKIN 8/4/2012 11:39PM

    So true...so many of the homeless are there not because they want to be. So easily it could be one of us on that sidewalk. Just one change in circumstance. One wrong turn. We are to have compassion. I think that we as a society have become desensitized to these things by our media or have turned our heads because it is too difficult to view.

Thank you for this. God bless you...

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BEARGODDESS 8/4/2012 11:33PM

    I cannot say RIGHT ON!! loudly enough to this!! Beautiful! I LOVE this poster!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 8/4/2012 11:34:29 PM

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