SUNSHINE65   56,890
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Deep Thoughts About Pigs and Sheep

Saturday, August 04, 2012

Do you think sheep know when you're pulling the wool over their eyes?

Does the person who inventories sheep often fall asleep on the job?

If a pig is sold to the pawn shop is it then called a ham-hock?

If we make sweaters out of a sheep's hair, what do the sheep use to make sweaters?

If you can't make a silk purse from a sow's ear what can you make with it?

If you pushed a pig down a hill would he be a sausage roll?

What do pigs say when they don't want to do something? Would it be 'Yea when humans fly'?

What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep?

Why can't pigs look up into the sky?

Why do pigs have curly tails?

Why do we call them guinea pigs when they are neither from Guinea nor are they pigs?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why is it that only pigs and humans can get sunburn?

Why is it that the first thing we try to do after killing a pig is to cure it?

Would a small pig be called a hamlet?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALICERIEGER 8/11/2012 11:10AM


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NAYPOOIE 8/5/2012 2:16PM

    I love cured pig.

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CCHEF1 8/4/2012 8:57PM

    Lol, good questions. Loved this blog.

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Unscheduled Outage

Saturday, August 04, 2012

It's thunderstorm season and when the power goes out at one branch office, the uninterruptible power supplies kick in, everything gracefully shuts down, and the technician waits for power to return. And waits. And waits.

"Late evening sees the power restored, and we go about bringing the network back to life," says the tech.

Next morning, the phone rings. It's a very irate corporate administrator wanting to know why we had an unscheduled outage the day before. The tech calmly explain about the storm, which he had no control over.

The Administrator's response? "Next time, put it on the schedule before you have an unexpected outage!"

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALICERIEGER 8/5/2012 1:38PM


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SCOOTDOG 8/4/2012 8:56PM

    This proves my theory - Administrator's are chosen because they have no common sense.

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Saturday, August 04, 2012


A bar called Drummond's (in Mt Vernon, Texas) began construction on an expansion of their building, hoping to "grow" their business. In response, the local Southern Baptist Church started a campaign to block the bar from expanding - petitions, prayers, etc. About a week before the bar's grand re-opening, a bolt of lightning struck the bar and burned it to the ground!

Afterward, the church folks were rather smug - bragging about "the power of prayer". The angry bar owner eventually sued the church on grounds that the church .... "was ultimately responsible for the demise of his building, through direct actions or indirect means." Of course, the church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection to the building's demise.

The judge read carefully through the plaintiff's complaint and the defendant's reply. He then opened the hearing by saying: "I don't know how I'm going to decide this, but it appears from the paperwork that what we have here is a bar owner who now believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that does not."

True story !!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DFROMTX 8/4/2012 6:06PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NAYPOOIE 8/4/2012 4:46PM

    Truth is stranger.

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SCOOTDOG 8/4/2012 12:37PM

    Good one. Wonder what judges final decision was.

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COACHPENNY 8/4/2012 12:12PM

    Now THAT is though provoking......

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ALICERIEGER 8/4/2012 11:36AM

    Perfect analysis

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CINDYHOUGHTON 8/4/2012 10:08AM

    Oh my!

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PURPLELVR7 8/4/2012 8:49AM

loved it

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ATLTRAINR 8/4/2012 6:50AM


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CAROLIAN 8/4/2012 4:14AM


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FITANDFIFTY2 8/4/2012 2:25AM

    Now that is an eye opener!

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CHIBIKARATE 8/4/2012 2:17AM

    to funny

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SUSANBEAMON 8/4/2012 2:11AM

  That's funny. I like it.

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Army officer training school

Friday, August 03, 2012

In this particular branch of the Army's officer training school, the instructor was returning a test. The students identified their work by the last four digits of their Social Security number.

In the early hours of a morning, the instructor was calling the numbers. “Four-seven-seven-zero?” he asked.

“Here,” replied one half-awake lieutenant-to-be. Taking the paper, though, he realized he had mistakenly asked for the wrong paper.

“Seven-zero-seven-five?” asked the instructor.

“Here,” repeated the student, gearing for trouble.

“I thought you were four-seven-seven-zero, soldier,” spoke the teacher.

“That's right, sir,” answered our hero. “I have a nick-number.”

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISSDAISY23 8/4/2012 8:51PM


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ALICERIEGER 8/4/2012 11:38AM

    good one!

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SCOOTDOG 8/3/2012 10:27AM

    He'd definitely pass the quick thinking test.

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BEARGODDESS 8/3/2012 10:11AM


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Thursday, August 02, 2012

IT'S SO HOT in Texas.....the birds have to use potholders to pull the worms out of the ground.
.....the trees are whistling for the dogs.
.....the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance water comes from both taps. can make sun tea instantly. learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
.....the temperature drops below 90 F and you feel a little chilly. discover that in July it only takes two fingers to steer your car (one on each hand). discover that you can get sunburned through your car window. actually burn your hand opening the car door. break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 5:30 A.M.
.....your biggest motorcycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death"? realize that asphalt has a liquid stage.
.....the potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter.
.....the cows are giving evaporated milk. are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.

IT'S SO DRY in Texas that the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling, the Methodists are using wet-wipes, the Presbyterians are giving rain checks, and the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DIET_FRIEND 8/4/2012 11:13AM

    We're hot too only it's super-humid along with hot.

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MISSDAISY23 8/3/2012 11:52AM

    I live like about an hour and forty five minutes from Chicago. It's been hot here like COACHPENNY said.

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ALICERIEGER 8/3/2012 7:49AM

    A lot of people will agree with those thoughts

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BARCLE 8/2/2012 3:37PM

    emoticon kinda makes me glad it's winter for me in New Zealand emoticon

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ATLTRAINR 8/2/2012 9:35AM


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BEARGODDESS 8/2/2012 9:05AM


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COACHPENNY 8/2/2012 7:44AM

    Chicago area has felt a lot like TX lately. In fact, we even had a few days where we switched weather entirely with It being hotter here up north. Lake Michigan is on average, 11 degrees warmer than normal and we are breaking records for plus 90 to 100 degree days.

I always said I couldn't live in the south but, the south has migrated north.

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RONNIEHUEY 8/2/2012 2:20AM

    emoticonAt least you aren't in Afghanistan. Last week ,my daughter wrote that had been cooler at night lately. It was only 110 instead of the mid 120s. This morning she ran a 5 K in the heat.She is a tuft soldier.

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FITANDFIFTY2 8/2/2012 1:50AM


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NAYPOOIE 8/2/2012 1:37AM

    damn! Glad I'm here instead.

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