SUNSHINE65   56,189
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Albert Einstein

Thursday, July 26, 2012

When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.

"I have an idea, boss," his chauffeur said. "I've heard you give this speech so many times. I'll bet I could give it for you." Einstein laughed loudly and said, "Why not? Let's do it!" When they arrive at the dinner, Einstein donned the chauffeur's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The chauffeur gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein's speech and even answered a few questions expertly.

Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody's fool. Without missing a beat, the chauffeur fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, "Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my chauffeur, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISSDAISY23 7/29/2012 12:05AM

    emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 7/28/2012 11:20AM

    That's what I call fast thinking

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ATLTRAINR 7/28/2012 6:42AM

    emoticon

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LILLI56 7/27/2012 6:23PM

    never heard of that one. really funny!

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BARCLE 7/27/2012 6:14PM

    emoticon love it!

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CJSARGENT1 7/27/2012 3:52PM

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AQUAGIRL08 7/27/2012 2:20PM

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BEARGODDESS 7/27/2012 10:28AM

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Oops!

Thursday, July 26, 2012

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.

"But officer." the man began, "I can explain,".

"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back..."

"But officer, I just wanted to say...."

"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"

A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."

"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ATLTRAINR 7/28/2012 6:41AM

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MISSDAISY23 7/27/2012 11:19PM

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BARCLE 7/27/2012 6:14PM

    Oooops emoticon

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CJSARGENT1 7/27/2012 3:53PM

    emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 7/27/2012 9:32AM

    Oh Dear

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MITECU 7/27/2012 8:23AM

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ALICIA214 7/27/2012 12:15AM

 

That is funny. Thank you for sharing, I enjoyed a good laugh.

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FDIXIE 7/26/2012 11:34PM

    Funny!

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SOCDIRECTOR 7/26/2012 11:25PM

    emoticon
Very cute!

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Watch it...watch it...watch it...!

Thursday, July 26, 2012

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zwn1Ho60xaI

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NAYPOOIE 7/26/2012 8:20PM

    Nice!

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MISSDAISY23 7/26/2012 12:10PM

    emoticon

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REXTINE1 7/26/2012 9:41AM

    Neat!

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ALICERIEGER 7/26/2012 9:41AM

    Nice

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CJSARGENT1 7/26/2012 9:41AM

    emoticon

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BEARGODDESS 7/26/2012 9:05AM

    AAAaaaahhh!!! That was great!! The cubs are so cute! emoticon emoticon

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ATLTRAINR 7/26/2012 5:15AM

    Great save!

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WILSON425 7/26/2012 1:41AM

    That was so cute.

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TAMPATINK67 7/26/2012 1:14AM

    How Awesome!!!! emoticon

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Central vacuum

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

While attending an open house, my wife was taken with the home's modern features, especially the central vacuum system installed within the walls. But she had a practical question: "What do you do when all the walls fill up?"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISSDAISY23 7/26/2012 8:50PM

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REXTINE1 7/25/2012 2:23PM

    Very funny. The BW's father was a merchant of the central vacuum systems. He sold them and installed them. She really liked them, but we don't have one here.

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NAYPOOIE 7/25/2012 12:26PM

    Then you have insulation!

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TISTEN23 7/25/2012 11:18AM

    LOL I have always been curious about those!!!

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BEARGODDESS 7/25/2012 10:05AM

    I've wondered that myself! emoticon

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AZURELITE 7/25/2012 8:09AM

    Talk about a good 'clean' joke LOL!

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ALICERIEGER 7/25/2012 7:13AM

    Good question!

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ATLTRAINR 7/25/2012 5:06AM

    emoticon blonde wife?

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A clear message...

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

A few years ago the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had died because I left the lights on overnight. I was in a hurry to get to work on time so I ran into the house to get my wife to give me a hand to start the car. I told her to get into our second car, a prehistoric oversized gas guzzler, and use it to push my car fast enough to start it. I pointed out to her that because the VW had an automatic transmission, it needed to be pushed at least 20mph for it to start.

She said fine, hopped into her car and drove off.

I sat there fuming wondering what she could be doing.

A minute passed by and when I saw her in the rear-view mirror coming at me at about 30 mph, I realized that I should have been a bit clearer with my directions...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALICERIEGER 7/26/2012 9:38AM

    communicatio!

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MISSDAISY23 7/25/2012 9:44PM

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REDRUDY5 7/25/2012 4:59PM

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MITECU 7/25/2012 10:17AM

    Oh my!

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BEARGODDESS 7/25/2012 10:06AM

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CJSARGENT1 7/25/2012 9:58AM

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FELINA 7/25/2012 9:37AM

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Good one !

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ATLTRAINR 7/25/2012 5:07AM

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BARCLE 7/25/2012 3:27AM

    I laughed out loud at that one - what a classic! emoticon

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