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Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Psychologists have discovered that the manner in which people eat Oreo cookies provides great insight into their personalities. Choose which method best describes your favorite method of eating Oreos:
1. The whole thing all at once.
2. One bite at a time
3. Slow and methodical nibbles examining the results of each bite afterwards.
4. In little feverous nibbles.
5. Dunked in some liquid (milk, coffee...).
6. Twisted apart, the inside, then the cookie.
7. Twisted apart, the inside, and toss the cookie.
8. Just the cookie, not the inside.
9. I just like to lick them, not eat them.
10.I don't have a favorite way because I don't like Oreos.
Your Personality:
1. The whole thing:
This means you consume life with abandon, you are fun to be with, exciting, carefree with some hint of recklessness. You are totally irresponsible. No one should trust you with his or her children.
2. One bite at a time:
You are lucky to be one of the 5.4 billion other people who eat their Oreos this very same way. Just like them, you lack imagination, but that's okay, not to worry, you're normal.
3. Slow and Methodical:
You follow the rules. You're very tidy and orderly. You're very meticulous in every detail with every thing you do to the point of being anal retentive and irritating to others. Stay out of the fast lane if you're only going to go the speed limit.
4. Feverous Nibbles:
Your boss likes you because you get your work done quickly. You always have a million things to do and never enough time to do them. Mental breakdowns and suicides run in your family. Valium and Ritalin would do you good.
5. Dunked:
Every one likes you because you are always up beat. You like to sugar coat unpleasant experiences and rationalize bad situations into good ones. You are in total denial about the shambles you call a life. You have a propensity towards narcotic addiction.
6. Twisted apart, the inside, and then the cookie:
You have a highly curious nature. You take pleasure in breaking things apart to find out how they work, though not always able to put them back together, so you destroy all the evidence of your activities. You deny your involvement when things go wrong. You are a compulsive liar and exhibit deviant, if not criminal, behavior.
7. Twisted apart, the inside, and then toss the cookie:
You are good at business and take risk that pay off. You take what you want and throw the rest away. You are greedy, selfish, mean, and lack feelings for others. You should be ashamed of yourself. But that's ok, you don't care, you got yours.
8. Just the cookie, not the inside:
You enjoy pain.
9. I just like to lick them, not eat them:
Stay away from small furry animals and seek professional medical help - immediately.
10. I don't have a favorite way, I don't like Oreos:
You probably come from a rich family, and like to wear nice things, and go to upscale restaurants. You are particular and fussy about the things you buy, own, and wear. Things have to be just right. You like to be pampered. You are a prissy.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Sitting in the first row of coach class during a lengthy flight, my wife and I were able to hear a flight attendant as he pushed a wine cart down the aisle in the first-class section. "Would you care for chardonnay or burgundy?" he asked the high-paying passengers.
A few minutes later the attendant opened the curtain between the two sections, offered wine to one final first-class patron, then wheeled the same cart forward to our aisle. "Excuse me," he said, looking down at us, "would you care for a glass of wine? We have white and red."
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
A woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas Cards. "What denomination?" asked the clerk.
"Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman. "Well, give me 30 Catholic, 10 Baptist ones, 20 Lutheran, and 40 Presbyterian."
Monday, July 09, 2012
Ease back pain by eating pineapple. Just a cup of fresh chunks or one glass of juice is all you need. Pineapple contains high amounts of manganese; an important building block for collagen, the fibrous structure that helps support and protect your back.
Sunday, July 08, 2012
Got this from a friend and it's just too rich not to share...…also, do you know where your chapstick has been? Oh, and now I know why I never had kids!
Mary Kay supplied this little offering:
Happy Sunday the 8th of July, folks, which is neither Mothers' Day nor Fathers' Day but I'm certain all of us will be edified to know that when Jack left this vale of tears and some chuckles, he was thoroughly unchapped.
We had this great 10 year old cat named Jack who just recently died. Jack was a great cat and the kids would carry him around and sit on him and nothing ever bothered him. He used to hang out and nap all day long on the mat in our bathroom. We have 3 kids and at the time of this story they were 4 years old, 3 years old and 1 year old.
The middle one is Eli. Eli really loved chap stick. LOVED it. He kept asking to use my chap stick and then losing it.
Finally one day I showed him where in the bathroom that I kept my chapstick and explained he could use it whenever he wanted to but he needed to put it right back in the drawer after he finished because I used it sometimes several times a day.
That year, on Mother's Day, we were having the typical rush around to try to get ready for church with everyone crying and carrying on. My two boys are fighting over the toy in the cereal box.
I am trying to nurse my little one at the same time I am putting on my make-up. Everything is a mess and everyone has long forgotten that this is a wonderful day to honor me and the amazing job that is Motherhood.
We finally have the older one and the baby loaded in the car, and I am looking for Eli. I have searched everywhere and I finally go into the bathroom.
There was Eli. He was applying my chap stick very carefully to Jack's rear end. Eli looked right into my eyes and said, "chapped..."
Now if you have a cat, you know that he is right - their little bottoms do look pretty chapped. And, frankly, Jack didn't seem to mind. And the only question to ask at that point was whether it was the FIRST time Eli had done that to the cat's behind or the hundredth!?!
And THAT is my favorite Mother's Day moment ever, because it reminds us that no matter how hard we try to civilize these glorious little creatures, there will always be that day when you realize......they've been using your chapstick on the cat's butt.
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