SUNSHINE65   67,058
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The Chapstick Story

Sunday, July 08, 2012

Got this from a friend and it's just too rich not to share...…also, do you know where your chapstick has been? Oh, and now I know why I never had kids!

Mary Kay supplied this little offering:
Happy Sunday the 8th of July, folks, which is neither Mothers' Day nor Fathers' Day but I'm certain all of us will be edified to know that when Jack left this vale of tears and some chuckles, he was thoroughly unchapped.

We had this great 10 year old cat named Jack who just recently died. Jack was a great cat and the kids would carry him around and sit on him and nothing ever bothered him. He used to hang out and nap all day long on the mat in our bathroom. We have 3 kids and at the time of this story they were 4 years old, 3 years old and 1 year old.

The middle one is Eli. Eli really loved chap stick. LOVED it. He kept asking to use my chap stick and then losing it.

Finally one day I showed him where in the bathroom that I kept my chapstick and explained he could use it whenever he wanted to but he needed to put it right back in the drawer after he finished because I used it sometimes several times a day.

That year, on Mother's Day, we were having the typical rush around to try to get ready for church with everyone crying and carrying on. My two boys are fighting over the toy in the cereal box.

I am trying to nurse my little one at the same time I am putting on my make-up. Everything is a mess and everyone has long forgotten that this is a wonderful day to honor me and the amazing job that is Motherhood.

We finally have the older one and the baby loaded in the car, and I am looking for Eli. I have searched everywhere and I finally go into the bathroom.

There was Eli. He was applying my chap stick very carefully to Jack's rear end. Eli looked right into my eyes and said, "chapped..."

Now if you have a cat, you know that he is right - their little bottoms do look pretty chapped. And, frankly, Jack didn't seem to mind. And the only question to ask at that point was whether it was the FIRST time Eli had done that to the cat's behind or the hundredth!?!

And THAT is my favorite Mother's Day moment ever, because it reminds us that no matter how hard we try to civilize these glorious little creatures, there will always be that day when you realize......they've been using your chapstick on the cat's butt.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISSDAISY23 7/9/2012 11:29PM

    ... glorious little creatures! emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 7/9/2012 9:43AM

    Great story

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BOO-SHAY 7/8/2012 7:44PM

    emoticon emoticon Way too funny! and so true for kids.

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    Oh my gosh, this was hilarious! emoticon

Years ago when my friend in another state had a toddler, we were talking on the phone and she was going on and on about the joys of motherhood and how kids were so precious and wonderful. Then she abruptly said "hang on a minute, the baby's eating out of the dog dish." It STILL cracks me up, and the "baby" is in his 20's now.

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NAYPOOIE 7/8/2012 5:15PM

    Too funny!

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JATHUENER 7/8/2012 5:11PM

    that is priceless i enjoyed that

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MERMAID524 7/8/2012 5:04PM

    OMG! I really needed that laugh! What a wonderful story! We had a cat like that who was born about the same time as my daughter ... she could carry him around by the tail and he wouldn't mind. Funny, funny story! emoticon emoticon

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Aren't We Fortunate To Be Seniors !

Saturday, July 07, 2012

A friend of mine was sitting on a lawn, sunning and reading, when he was startled by a fairly late model car crashing through a hedge and coming to rest on his lawn.

He helped the elderly driver out and sat her on a lawn chair.

“My goodness” he exclaimed, “you are quite old to be driving!”

“Yes” she replied, ” I am old enough that I don't need a license.”

“The last time I went to my doctor, he examined me and asked if I had a driver's license.” I told him "yes" and handed it to him.

He took scissors out of a drawer, cut the license into pieces and threw them in the wastebasket.” “You won’t be needing this anymore,” he said.

So I thanked him and left.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

2BEATIT1 7/9/2012 12:58AM

    Though this is funny to read, it does have a sad element also. Even though I still drive, I am not driving at night due to the car lights distorting my vision. I am hoping I have more years to enjoy driving though. emoticon

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DURANGOREDDOG 7/8/2012 11:35PM

    I guess I'm old enough that it made me sad,too. emoticon

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DIDMIS 7/8/2012 10:53PM

    Not so funny really. Who knows how much longer I can drive and I have no one to drive for me

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JATHUENER 7/8/2012 5:17PM

    well that is one way to do that however point missed

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REXTINE1 7/8/2012 12:19PM

    I have known people like that.

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ALICERIEGER 7/8/2012 10:07AM

    Just a slight misunderstanding.

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PURPLELVR7 7/8/2012 10:02AM

    very funny

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MI-ELLKAYBEE 7/7/2012 11:57PM

    Something about this made me sad.....

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BEARGODDESS 7/7/2012 8:53PM


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PATTOMMC3 7/7/2012 8:41PM

    Too funny! emoticon

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Who is the Susie in your life?

Saturday, July 07, 2012

Come with me to a third grade classroom..... There is a nine-year-old kid sitting at his desk and all of a sudden, there is a puddle between his feet and the front of his pants are wet. He thinks his heart is going to stop because he cannot possibly imagine how this has happened. It's never happened before, and he knows that when the boys find out he will never hear the end of it. When the girls find out, they'll never speak to him again as long as he lives.

The boy believes his heart is going to stop; he puts his head down and prays this prayer, 'Dear God, this is an emergency! I need help now! Five minutes from now I'm dead meat.'

He looks up from his prayer and here comes the teacher with a look in her eyes that says he has been discovered.

As the teacher is walking toward him, a class mate named Susie is carrying a goldfish bowl that is filled with water. Susie trips in front of the teacher and inexplicably dumps the bowl of water in the boy's lap..

The boy pretends to be angry, but all the while is saying to himself, 'Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!'

Now all of a sudden, instead of being the object of ridicule, the boy is the object of sympathy. The teacher rushes him downstairs and gives him gym shorts to put on while his pants dry out. All the other children are on their hands and knees cleaning up around his desk. The sympathy is wonderful.

But as life would have it, the ridicule that should have been his has been transferred to someone else - Susie. She tries to help, but they tell her to get out. "You've done enough, you

Finally, at the end of the day, as they are waiting for the bus, the boy walks over to Susie and whispers, "You did that on purpose, didn't you?"

Susie whispers back, "I wet my pants once too."

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISSDAISY23 7/8/2012 1:41AM

    Another good one!

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REXTINE1 7/7/2012 7:56PM

    Suzie was an early winner - she must have had a wonderful mother.

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SCOOTDOG 7/7/2012 6:00PM

    We need more Susies!!

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BARCLE 7/7/2012 4:31PM

    emoticon it's how humanity should be emoticon

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NAYPOOIE 7/7/2012 2:56PM

    Got to love her.

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    What a nice story. If each of us could spread around a little "Susie" the world would be a better place. emoticon

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MZZCHIEF 7/7/2012 11:54AM

    Susie is definitely a trait we would all to well to cultivate within ourselves.
As well as being less judgmental in the first place!

thx for an inspiring post.

: )

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ALPHASENIOR 7/7/2012 11:31AM

    A real deep question: who is my "Susie"? I lost my Susie two years ago, my husband.
Now, its a very dear friend who is always there and always tactful, a friend since grade school, sixty years ago. Now that's a friend!

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ALICERIEGER 7/7/2012 9:54AM

    If all of us could be that understanding.

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MRSVK11 7/7/2012 9:10AM

    Awww sweet!

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GLITTERWINGS84 7/7/2012 8:53AM

    Beautiful story, thanks for sharing.

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DEE1221 7/7/2012 8:29AM

    Great Story! What a truely wonderful world this would be with more assistance from Friends and less bullying! Thank you for sharing.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MAGGIEVAN 7/7/2012 6:30AM

    Friendship ... True understanding! Thanks for sharing.

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Waking Up for Church

Saturday, July 07, 2012

One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready for church, to which he replied, "I'm not going."

"Why not?" she asked."I'll give you two good reasons," he said. "One, they don't like me, and two, I don't like them."

His mother replied, "I'll give YOU two good reasons why you SHOULD go to church. One, you're 54 years old, and two, you're the pastor!"

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISSDAISY23 7/8/2012 1:38AM


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NAYPOOIE 7/7/2012 2:56PM


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ALICERIEGER 7/7/2012 9:55AM

    Mom wins!

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RANDOM00B 7/7/2012 9:42AM

    Oh, that is awesome!! emoticon

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WALIDGAZALA 7/7/2012 6:39AM

    I think it can be very real!!!! emoticon

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TAMPATINK67 7/7/2012 4:11AM

    okay - that's just too funny!!!!

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High Blood Pressure

Thursday, July 05, 2012

When a physician remarked on a new patient's extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said, "High blood pressure, Doc. It comes from my family."

"Your mother's side or your father's?" I asked.

"Neither," he replied. "It's from my wife's family."

"Oh, come now," I said. "How could your wife's family give you high blood pressure?"

He sighed. "You oughta meet 'em sometime, Doc!"

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISSDAISY23 7/5/2012 3:01PM


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SCOOTDOG 7/5/2012 2:54PM


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MRSVK11 7/5/2012 11:44AM

    Ahhh so that's what causes

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ALICERIEGER 7/5/2012 9:44AM

    Sometimes this can happen.

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REXTINE1 7/5/2012 9:43AM

    Good one. emoticon

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