SUNSHINE65   65,376
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SUNSHINE65's Recent Blog Entries

I Want to Buy That

Saturday, June 30, 2012

A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.

The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.

Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.

The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"

The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISSDAISY23 6/30/2012 10:19PM

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13610511 6/30/2012 12:57PM

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ATLTRAINR 6/30/2012 6:27AM

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SALEX52 6/30/2012 1:38AM

    Smile

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Form Feed

Saturday, June 30, 2012

Insurance form question and answer about a recent accident:

Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident? A: I could have traveled by bus.

A man collided with a cow and completed the requested form as follows:

Q: What warning did you give the other party before the collision? A: Horn

Q: What warning was given by the other party? A: Moo

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALICERIEGER 7/1/2012 2:29PM

    Fun

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ATLTRAINR 6/30/2012 6:27AM

    emoticon

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St. Peter's Book

Saturday, June 30, 2012

A man arrives at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted. St. Peter is reading through the Big Book to see if the guy's name is written in it. After several minutes, St. Peter closes the book, furrows his brow, and says, "I'm sorry, I don't see your name written in the Book."

"How current is your copy?" he asks.

"I get a download every ten minutes," St. Peter replies, "Why do you ask?"

"I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I was always the stubborn type. It was not until my death was imminent that I cried out to God, so my name probably hasn't arrived to your copy yet."

"I'm glad to hear that," Pete says, "but while we're waiting for the update to come through, can tell me about a really good deed that you did in your life."

The guys thinks for a moment and says, "Hmm, well there was this one time when I was driving down a road and I saw a giant group of biker gang members harassing this poor girl. I slowed down, and sure enough, there they were, about 20 of 'em torturing this poor woman. Infuriated, I got out of my car, grabbed a tire iron out of my trunk, and walked up to the leader of the gang.

"He was a huge guy; 6-foot-4, 260 pounds, with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ears. As I walked up to the leader, the bikers formed a circle around me and told me to get lost or I'd be next. So I ripped the leader's chain out of his face and smashed him over the head with the tire iron.

"Then I turned around and yelled to the rest of them, 'Leave this poor innocent girl alone! You're all a bunch of SICK, deranged animals! Go home before I really teach you a lesson in PAIN!'"

St. Peter, duly impressed, says "Wow! When did this happen?"

"About three minutes ago."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NAYPOOIE 6/30/2012 3:29PM

    must be a slow connection.

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ALICERIEGER 6/30/2012 2:51PM

    At least he tried!

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ATLTRAINR 6/30/2012 6:29AM

    emoticon

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FITANDFIFTY2 6/30/2012 2:47AM

    Lol.. that is a very good one!! emoticon

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LATTELEE 6/30/2012 1:20AM

  Good one!

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Leave your shoes at the door

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

While carpenters were working outside the old house I had just bought, I busied myself with indoor cleaning. I had just finished washing the floor when one of the workmen asked to use the bathroom.

With dismay I looked from his muddy boots to my newly scrubbed floors. "Just a minute," I said, thinking of a quick solution. "I'll put down newspapers."

"It's all right, lady," he responded. "I'm already trained."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KNITTINGNAN 6/30/2012 1:25AM

  Being married to a carpenter, I found this to be really funny. Thanks for the laugh!

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NAYPOOIE 6/28/2012 1:03PM

    LOL

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BARCLE 6/28/2012 5:08AM

    emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 6/28/2012 4:42AM

    That was a unexpected response.

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SASIKHASI1 6/28/2012 1:04AM

    That gave me a much needed laugh.

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KNEWMETODAY 6/27/2012 11:51PM

    That's hilarious! It kind of makes you wonder sometimes, huh?

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DRAGONCHILDE 6/27/2012 11:45PM

    LOL!

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BEARGODDESS 6/27/2012 11:26PM

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DMV hi lites

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

It was just another day at the DMV. I had taken a woman out on her driving test when a police cruiser came up behind us--sirens wailing, lights flashing.

"Was I speeding?" she asked the officer, after both cars pulled over.

"No," said the officer. "But you are driving a stolen vehicle."

Smiling awkwardly, the woman turned to me. "Does this mean I failed my test?"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

13610511 6/28/2012 11:44AM

    crazy!

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RANDOM00B 6/28/2012 9:43AM

    Hey, it's a legitimate question! emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 6/28/2012 4:41AM

    Wow! Great one.

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2ABBYNORMAL 6/28/2012 12:12AM

    This is hilarious!
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SFREY217 6/27/2012 11:37PM

    Wow, what a crazy day at work !

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SPIRIT42013 6/27/2012 11:19PM

    HaHA! How many calories can you burn by laughing??! emoticon

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