SUNSHINE65   56,276
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If Only You Had Looked

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Two men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation.

"How'd you die?" the first man asks the second.

"I froze to death," says the second.

"That's awful," says the first man. "How does it feel to freeze to death?"

"It's very uncomfortable at first," says the second man. "You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you're sleeping. How about you, how did you die?"

"I had a heart attack," says the first man. "You see, I knew my wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found her alone, knitting. I rushed down to the basement, but no one was hiding there. I ran up to the second floor, but found no one there either. I went as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died."

The second man shakes his head. "That's so ironic," he says.

"What do you mean?" asks the first man.

"If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we'd both be still alive."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BOO-SHAY 6/27/2012 12:52AM

    emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 6/26/2012 10:11AM

    WOW

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AQUAGIRL08 6/26/2012 8:51AM

    emoticon

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SKMINNY 6/26/2012 8:12AM

    Ha ha ha thats great!


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NANCYRUBIO 6/26/2012 12:18AM

    Good hearty laugh from me.

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Grandpa, What's it like to be old?

Monday, June 25, 2012

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RAINBOWMF 6/30/2012 12:27AM

    emoticon isn't that the truth?

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CAROLYNVIL 6/29/2012 11:01PM

    emoticon

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MISSDAISY23 6/29/2012 1:56PM

    emoticon

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CATLADY52 6/25/2012 2:39PM

    Good comment emoticon

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BEARGODDESS 6/25/2012 2:32PM

    emoticon

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NANAW12001 6/25/2012 2:28PM

  This is precious. Thanks.

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Political Quotes

Sunday, June 24, 2012

"I resent your insinuendoes."

"If we don't make some changes, the status quo will remain the same."

"We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world."

"I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and members of the Senate." -- Dan Quayle

"If Lincoln were alive today, he'd roll over in his grave."

"We do not have censorship. What we have is a limitation on what newspapers can report."

"Candidly, I cannot answer that. The question is too suppository."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BOO-SHAY 6/24/2012 11:34PM

    emoticon

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NAYPOOIE 6/24/2012 11:10PM

    That second to the last one reminds me of when my daughter was little. She said, "I'm not impatient, I just can't wait anymore!"

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PEEDLE 6/24/2012 6:59PM

    Yeah, yeah.
Sounds just like politi-talk!
As someone once said "They talk a lot, but say nothing."
They should have added: ".....that makes sense, that is."
emoticon
Mary Lou

Comment edited on: 6/24/2012 7:02:15 PM

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BEARGODDESS 6/24/2012 6:47PM

    emoticon emoticon

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Funny News Headlines

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing

Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing

Air Head Fired

Steals Clock, Faces Time

Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff

Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RANDOM00B 6/24/2012 4:56PM

    emoticon Awesome!

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BARCLE 6/24/2012 3:24PM

    lol, some good ones for sure emoticon

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CHACHAOREO 6/24/2012 5:08AM

    It got my attention!

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Memory Tricks

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?"

"Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques: visualization, association, etc. It was great."

"That's great! And what was the name of the clinic?"

Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?"

"You mean a rose?"

"Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife, "Rose, what was the name of that memory clinic?"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GLORYB2014 6/24/2012 2:05PM

    That's a good one! emoticon

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MISSDAISY23 6/23/2012 9:24PM

    emoticon

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LILLITO 6/23/2012 9:18PM

    oldie but good one.

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