SUNSHINE65   61,039
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Not my usual blog

Sunday, June 17, 2012


My computer has done a freeze...it will not boot up. So I pulled out this net book I bought a couple of years ago to take on vacation, just to keep in touch. I'll take my Mac to the MacPac store tonmorrow and leave it there to see if they can resurrect it. Hopefully yes. And I do not want to lose any of the good stuff on it! So the laughs will wait until I get my Mac back from MacPac. [Alliteration intended!]
Love you all, Gayle

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRANNYQUINN 6/18/2012 4:44PM

    Bummer, so sorry to hear this news! Glad you have a back up!

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ALICERIEGER 6/18/2012 10:33AM

    We all will be waiting for our daily chuckle. Hope it is an easy fix. Thanks

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L*I*T*A* 6/18/2012 10:18AM

    hope whatever ails your computer is fixable and not too too expensive
blessings and hugs.............lita

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BAYBERRYBEAR 6/18/2012 12:02AM

    Poor Mac having to go to the Mac Doctor!

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ALIHIKES 6/17/2012 11:55PM

    I always enjoy reading your jokes! I hope your computer malfunction is fixed soon -- it is so frustrating when one of our reliable tools stops working.

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BEARGODDESS 6/17/2012 9:18PM

    Oh, hope everything get's fixed okay! It's so frustrating when that happens. I'll miss the funnies, but look forward to them popping up again as soon as you're all fixed up!

Thanks for letting us know!

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Stuck

Saturday, June 16, 2012

My husband David's colleague at a package-processing center was trapped in a small rest room by a faulty lock. When he was finally discovered, David and another worker were able to open the door with some difficulty. The lock was still jammed, so they blocked the door open while a maintenance worker was called. A bit later, David noticed the door was closed again. He jiggled the doorknob and a voice from inside called, "Get me out!"

"Don't worry," David replied, "Maintenance should be sending somebody."

"They did," said the voice.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SASIKHASI1 6/16/2012 5:19PM

    I got stuck in the bathroom at work by a faulty lock. I pounded on that sucker for quite awhile before I realized I had my cell phone in my pocket. I called the front desk and told them that they had better get me out of there quick. They were laughing so hard, but it took them almost a half hour to get that door open. They also got it fixed lol.

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MRE1956 6/16/2012 2:47PM

    emoticon

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BUDDYSMYFRIEND 6/16/2012 1:14PM

    emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 6/16/2012 10:32AM

    Thanks for the chuckle,

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BEARGODDESS 6/16/2012 9:33AM

    emoticon

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LATTELEE 6/16/2012 1:16AM

  funny

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English Lecture

Saturday, June 16, 2012

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRANDMA624 6/16/2012 8:26PM

  emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 6/16/2012 10:33AM

    That is one exanple

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AZURELITE 6/16/2012 6:18AM

    So true!

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ANIMAL VETERINARY TREATMENTS

Thursday, June 14, 2012

When our client's dog lapped up anti-freeze, the veterinarian I work for ordered a unique treatment: an IV drip mixing fluids with vodka. "Go buy the cheapest bottle you can find," he told me.

At the liquor store, I was uneasy buying a liter of cheap booze at ten o'clock in the morning, and I felt compelled to explain things to the clerk. "Believe it or not," I said, "this is for a sick dog."

As I was leaving, the next customer plunked down two bottles of muscatel and announced, "These are for my cats."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALICERIEGER 6/15/2012 10:34AM

    Maybe I should a pei

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SASIKHASI1 6/15/2012 12:51AM

    Poor doggie, but I bet the booze neutralizes the anti freeze. Drunk dogs are always the life of the party.

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UMBILICAL 6/14/2012 11:30PM

  Animal alcoholism! LOL

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WARNING!!!!

Thursday, June 14, 2012

As scientists and concerned citizens, we applaud the recent trend towards legislation which requires the prominent placing of warnings on products that present hazards to the general public. Yet we must also offer the cautionary thought that such warnings, however well-intentioned, merely scratch the surface of what is really necessary in this important area. This is especially true in light of the findings of 20th century quantum physics.

We therefore propose that the following list of warnings appears on every product offered for sale in the United States.

WARNING: This Product Warps Space and Time in Its Vicinity.

CAUTION: The Mass of This Product Contains the Energy Equivalent of 85 Million Tons of TNT per Net Ounce of Weight.

HANDLE WITH EXTREME CARE: This Product Contains Minute Electrically Charged Particles Moving at Velocities in Excess of Five Hundred Million Miles Per Hour.

CONSUMER NOTICE: Because of the "Uncertainty Principle," It Is Impossible for the Consumer to Find Out at the Same Time Both Precisely Where This Product Is and How Fast It Is Moving. (Note: This one is optional on the grounds that Heisenburg was never quite sure that his principle was correct)

ADVISORY: There is an Extremely Small but Nonzero Chance That, Through a Process Know as "Tunneling," This Product May Spontaneously Disappear from Its Present Location and Reappear at Any Random Place in the Universe, Including Your Neighbor's Domicile. The Manufacturer Will Not Be Responsible for Damages or Inconvenience That May Result.

ATTENTION: Despite Any Other Listing of Product Contents Found Hereon, the Consumer is Advised That, in Actuality, This Product Consists Of 99.999999999% Empty Space.

PLEASE NOTE: Some Quantum Physics Theories Suggest That When the Consumer Is Not Directly Observing This Product, It May Cease to Exist or Will Exist Only in a Vague and Undetermined State.

HEALTH WARNING: Care Should Be Taken When Lifting This Product, Since Its Mass, and Thus Its Weight, Is Dependent on Its Velocity Relative to the User.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GARDENQE2 6/16/2012 12:33PM

    HEE! HEE!

I have a package of weed killer with long and complicated directiions. They end with this warning: If you are unable to read these directions, do not use this product!
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IDLETYME 6/16/2012 9:57AM

    You need to be a scientist to understand what they are saying!! emoticon emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 6/15/2012 10:38AM

    What would we do without science.

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