SUNSHINE65   67,467
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Baked Beans Lover (Can you see it coming?)

Friday, June 08, 2012

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him.

One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, she'll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like this, so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Shortly after that they were married.

A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her that he would be late because he had to walk. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him.

Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill affects before he got home. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had 3 extra large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he putt-putted. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe.

His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!" She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peek.

At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as his wife was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned, and away she went to answer the phone. While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him.

He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and RRIIIPPPP !! It sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate. He got another urge. This was a real blue ribbon winner, the windows shook, the dishes on the table rattled and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead.

While keeping an ear tuned in on the conversation in the hallway, and keeping his promise of staying blindfolded, he carried on like this for the next ten minutes, farting and fanning each time with his napkin. When he heard the phone farewells he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked in.

Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner table. After assuring her he had not peeked, she removed the blindfold and yelled, "SURPRISE!!!"

To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

13610511 6/13/2012 1:07PM

    So funny!


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IDLETYME 6/10/2012 7:28AM

    That was a surprise for everyone!! He probably won't forget that birthday! emoticon

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GRANDMA624 6/9/2012 7:25AM

  Surprise Surprise!!! emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 6/8/2012 12:29PM

    Oh dear!

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Basketball, anybody?

Thursday, June 07, 2012

This was on the news...not the whole video.
When you get a few minutes watch this video its very funny. Kyrie Irving rookie of the year from Cleveland that played at Duke 2010.
They dress him up in movie make up and make him look like an 80 year old man and he goes to the street basketball courts in new York and gets in a pickup basketball game with all these young guys. at the beginning playing terrible and then starts playing for real andro its great.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALICERIEGER 6/8/2012 12:30PM


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FRIENDOFBACH 6/8/2012 12:16AM


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ITCANBEDUN 6/8/2012 12:15AM

    Thanks for sharing. emoticon

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    Really enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing! emoticon

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Life Observations

Wednesday, June 06, 2012

1. Marriage changes passion; suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

2. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea."

3. I have my own little world. But it's OK, they know me here.

4. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

5. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

6. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.

7. The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.

8. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

9. Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a couple of bucks at the bowling alley.

10. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect.

11. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

12. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRANNYQUINN 6/7/2012 1:25PM

    Wonderful- Thank-you for the laughs.

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GRANDMA624 6/7/2012 8:46AM

  emoticon emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 6/7/2012 7:01AM

    Good observations

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NAYPOOIE 6/6/2012 11:11PM


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BEARGODDESS 6/6/2012 10:50PM

    emoticon emoticon

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New Dad

Monday, June 04, 2012

One day, shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to go out to do some errands, so the proud father stayed home to watch his wonderful new son.

Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry. The father did everything he could think of, but the baby just wouldn't stop crying. Finally, the dad got so worried he decided to take the infant to the doctor.

After the doctor listened to all the father had done to get the baby to stop crying, the doctor began to examine the baby's ears, chest and then down to the diaper area. When he opened the diaper, he found was indeed full.

"Here's the problem," the doctor explained. "He just needs to be changed."

The perplexed father remarked, "But the diaper package specifically says it's good for up to 10 pounds!"

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALICERIEGER 6/4/2012 10:38AM


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BEARGODDESS 6/4/2012 8:52AM

    EEEeeeewwww!! emoticon

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Newly Issued Alcohol Warnings

Sunday, June 03, 2012

The American Board of Health has proposed that warning signs be placed on all alcohol bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible peril of drinking a pint or two of any alcoholic beverage.

1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with a breath that could knock a buzzard off a wreaking dead animal that is one hundred yards away.

2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.

3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to assault you

4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you really think of him.

6. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.

7. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Psycho Bob.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SKMINNY 6/4/2012 11:18AM

    and another warning: washs eye goin toooo fassss osifer?

Comment edited on: 6/4/2012 11:18:41 AM

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ALICERIEGER 6/3/2012 1:42PM

    Love the warnings.

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RANDOM00B 6/3/2012 10:44AM

    I don't drink at all, but this just made me LOL, emoticon

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GRANDMA624 6/3/2012 10:26AM

  That's why I don't drink much anymore. No. 2 on the list was enough for me. emoticon I thought I could do the limbo. Could not go tooo low emoticon

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BEARGODDESS 6/3/2012 6:53AM

    emoticon emoticon

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GRANDMA_SANDY48 6/3/2012 12:54AM

    emoticon emoticon
Very good!

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_CYNDY55_ 6/3/2012 12:52AM

    emoticon emoticon
Glad to have stopped drinking alcohol 5 years ago emoticon emoticon more saying "thish" Ahahahaha-----!!!!!
Very Cool

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