SUNSHINE65   61,030
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Just checking

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

One snowy evening my brother, a regional police officer, stopped a car at a roadside check for drunk drivers. "Good evening, ma'am," he greeted the lady. "How are you this evening?"

"Fine, thank you," she replied.

My brother continued, "Anything to drink this evening?"

Surprised, the lady answered, ", thank you."

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRANDMA624 5/30/2012 10:30AM

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ALICERIEGER 5/30/2012 7:59AM

    Good one!

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HELEN_BRU 5/30/2012 1:02AM


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Beefing up my efforts at fitness with affirmations..

Monday, May 28, 2012

1. I phrase my affirmations in the here and now: [I am craving healthy nutritious food], so my subconscious knows this is what I want right now.
2. I use the first person, and add my name: [I, Sunshine65, love the way my body feels when I do my exercises]. I use phrases like: I am... I can... I have... I choose...
3. I limit how many affirmations [1 or 2] at a time so they can have more power to work with my subconscious.
4. I repeat them a LOT. I write them out 15 or more times every morning and night. At the mirror I say them looking at myself and using a YOU statement [You have a healthy, sensuous, fit body]. When a negative thought attacks me I use it as a trigger to say my affirmations [with a smile on my face that says I mean it!]. I belt them out like a song in the shower.Sometimes I record them on a disc and play them in my car to and from work. I leave room on the disc to repeat them. Lately I've been putting them on my iPod.
5. When I have doubts I write them out. Then I turn them around into positive statements: ["I'll never get through this plateau" becomes "I am falling off the edge of the plateau dropping off pounds again"].
6. I rev up the pictures of me in my brain living the life my affirmations want. I make it so vivid I can feel it in my body! I create emotions of joy in this and revel in them!
7. I make this whole process a fun game. Every effort at affirmations and the goals they describe seems like points in my game. What a blast!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AZURELITE 5/31/2012 7:05AM

    Very helpful ideas! Thanks for sharing!

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ALICERIEGER 5/29/2012 12:20PM

    Wonerful ideas. Things we all can do.

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ROSALIEESTHER 5/29/2012 8:15AM

    I LOVE this blog! Thank you for all the simple useful tips. I'm copying them out to use. emoticon

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    Excellent ideas. Thanks for the practical suggestions to make positive thinking a bigger part of our lives.

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BAYBERRYBEAR 5/29/2012 1:13AM


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SASIKHASI1 5/29/2012 1:07AM

    And when you get up in the morning, look at yourself in the mirror and say "Baby you look hot" That just gets your day started out right.

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BEARGODDESS 5/28/2012 11:58PM

    What a good idea! Along with earning Spark points, we can also earn our own affirmation points at home. How many negative feelings can I smite today with an affirmation? I love it! Great tips for how to do it too.

emoticon emoticon


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Man Changes Places with Wife to Show Her What Work is! Ha!

Monday, May 28, 2012

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: 'Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through. So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day.

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman... He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, Awakened the kids, Set out their school clothes, Fed them breakfast, Packed their lunches, Drove them to school, Came home and picked up the dry cleaning, Took it to the cleaners And stopped at the bank to make a deposit, Went grocery shopping, Then drove home to put away the groceries, Paid the bills and balanced the check book. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.

Then, it was already 1 P.M. And he hurried to make the beds, Do the laundry, vacuum, Dust, And sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework. Then, set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops
and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper, He cleaned the kitchen, Ran the dishwasher, Folded laundry, Bathed the kids, And put them to bed. At 9 P.M. He was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint. The next m,orning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, Oh! Please, let us trade back... Amen!

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied: "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and
I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WILSON425 5/29/2012 1:40PM

    God is Good!

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ALICERIEGER 5/29/2012 12:22PM


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GRANDMA624 5/29/2012 5:57AM

  emoticon emoticon

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BAYBERRYBEAR 5/29/2012 1:11AM


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SASIKHASI1 5/29/2012 1:06AM

    Oh, if that were only true.

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NAYPOOIE 5/28/2012 10:54PM

    ah, divine justice

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BEARGODDESS 5/28/2012 10:45PM

    emoticon emoticon

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Refrigerator Goals

Monday, May 28, 2012

When I returned home from college for a break, I noticed a paper posted on the refrigerator. It listed some goals my dad had set for himself: Help wife more; lose weight; be more productive at work.

I promptly added: "Send Michelle money every month."

A few days later my brother wrote: "Make payments on car for Jason."

Then my boyfriend joined in with: "Buy Tom a Jeep."

Finally my father added a new goal to his amended list: "Wean kids."

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALICERIEGER 5/31/2012 4:45PM

    Love it!

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GAMMY98 5/28/2012 8:04PM

    lol love it

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WINTERHARTT 5/28/2012 7:34PM

    emoticon Nice!

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NAYPOOIE 5/28/2012 11:58AM

    Good luck with that one, Dad!

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BEARGODDESS 5/28/2012 10:58AM


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HELEN_BRU 5/28/2012 10:02AM


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GRANDMA624 5/28/2012 8:40AM


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NZFITNESSGIRL 5/28/2012 2:25AM

    This gave me a lovely chuckle!

Thanks for the laugh.

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CARL-ASCHLUGE 5/28/2012 1:48AM

    Great stuff!

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Sunday, May 27, 2012

Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
Practice making fax and modem noises.
Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
Staple pages in the middle of the page.
Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
Honk and wave to strangers.
Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
type only in lowercase.
dont use any punctuation either
Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
"Never mind, it's gone now."
As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
Ask people what gender they are.
While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
Sing along at the opera.
Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALICERIEGER 5/30/2012 8:03AM


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PURPLEPEONY 5/28/2012 11:35PM

    I need to try some of these emoticon

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IDLETYME 5/28/2012 10:03PM

    I have experienced some of those - aggravating!!! Funny though! emoticon

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BAYBERRYBEAR 5/28/2012 1:52AM

    "Holler random numbers while someone is counting." ~ I do this all the time at work. LOL

Looks like I'm gonna have to try some of those other ones! They sound like fun!!

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DAIZYSTARLITE 5/28/2012 12:28AM


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