SUNSHINE65   58,719
50,000-59,999 SparkPoints
SUNSHINE65's Recent Blog Entries

Sealane right-of-way

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Through the pitch-black night, the captain sees a light dead ahead on a collision course with his ship. He sends a signal: “Change your course 10 degree east.”

The light signals back: “Change yours, 10 degrees west.”

Angry, the captain sends: “I’m a navy captain! Change your course, sir!”

“I’m a seaman, second class,” comes the reply. “Change your course, sir.”

Now the captain is furious. “I’m a battleship! I’m not changing course!”

There is one last reply. “I’m a lighthouse. Your call.”


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRAMMAP1 9/23/2010 8:55PM

    That is really cute. Sounds like two stubborn males. TeeHee. Thank you for the laugh!

Report Inappropriate Comment
HOPEFUL67 9/23/2010 11:54AM

    Thanks for the laugh today

Report Inappropriate Comment

Six Truths in Life

Saturday, September 18, 2010

1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time, a physical impossibility.
2. All idiots, after reading #1 will try it.
3. And discover #1 is a lie.
4. You are smiling now because you are an idiot.
5. You soon will forward this to another idiot.
emoticon emoticon
6. There is still a stupid smile on your face .
I sincerely apologize about this but I'm an idiot and I needed company.
emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEADSBAY 9/25/2010 5:04PM

    Yes, yes, yes- I'm an idiot.

Report Inappropriate Comment
PLPEEP 9/25/2010 4:42PM

    You got me big time, I loved it!!!
I am sending this to my e-mail friends.

Comment edited on: 9/25/2010 4:43:27 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUNSHINE65 9/19/2010 2:58AM

    Yes!!! You are not an idiot!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JAQUANAH 9/18/2010 6:36PM

    Funny, but I did not try it. Does that mean I am not an idiot?


Report Inappropriate Comment

    Got me to THINK & Very Cute emoticon emoticon


Report Inappropriate Comment
HIPPIE44 9/18/2010 4:28PM

    Got me!

Report Inappropriate Comment

Excuses, excuses...

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Philadelphia's Highway Patrol officers hear all kinds of creative excuses that drivers give for speeding. Here are some of the officers' favorites. By the way, none of them worked.

A man told the officer he was rushing to the hospital because had been stung by a bee, and was allergic. "There's the bee right there," he said, pointing to his dashboard. The officer looked. The bee was not only dead, but in a advanced state of decomposition.

A man was doing 70 mph on the shoulder of I-95, avoiding the bumper-to-bumper traffic. After a third of a mile, he was stopped by an officer. He jumped out of the car, brushing off his pants, and told the cop he had dropped a cigarette on his lap. "I was looking for a place to park," he explained.

A speeder said that he and his wife were trying to have a baby. "My wife is ovulating," he told the officer. "I have to get home right now."

An officer stopped a man doing 80 mph. When he asked the driver whether he had seen the speed-limit signs, the man responded, "I went by them so fast I probably missed them."

A man going south on I-95 was stopped near Washington Avenue doing 79 mph. "My engine misses, and I'm trying to clean out the carburetor," he told the officer. For good measure, he added, "If I don't go this fast, my car won't go at all."

"I'm due in traffic court," one speeder said. "If I'm late they're going to enforce the bench warrant."

When an officer told a speeder that the speed limit on the Schuylkill Expressway was 50 mph, the driver responded, "Officer, where have you been? It's 65 now."

One speeder said simply, "I'm trying to beat my wife home. Don't ask."

An elderly person was stopped after doing 73 mph. When told he was getting a ticket, he asked the officer, "Is there a senior citizen's discount?"


Interesting Unofficial Laws...But they're true...

Saturday, September 11, 2010

"The Law of Volunteering" If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.

"The Law of Avoiding Oversell"
When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.

"The Law of Reality"
Never get into fights with ugly people; they have nothing to lose.

"The Law of Self Sacrifice"
When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.

"Weiler's Law"
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

"Law of Probable Dispersal"
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

"Law of Volunteer Labor"
People are always available for work in the past tense.

"Conway's Law"
In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired.

"Iron Law of Distribution"
Them that has, gets.

"Law of Cybernetic Entomology"
There is always one more bug.

"Law of Drunkenness"
You can't fall off the floor.

"Heller's Law"
The first myth of management is that it exists.

"Osborne's Law"
Variables won't; constants aren't.

"Main's Law"
For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.

"Weinberg's Second Law"
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed civilization.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEEJD11 9/12/2010 6:26PM

    Interesting and VERY true. emoticonThank you when I'm laughing I'm not eating. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

The Things That Drive A Sane Person Mad

Thursday, September 09, 2010

You have to try on a pair of sunglasses with that stupid little plastic thing in the middle of them.
The person behind you in the supermarket runs his cart into the back of your ankle.
The elevator stops on every floor and nobody gets on.
There's always a car riding your tail when you're slowing down to find an address.
You open a can of soup and the lid falls in.
There's a dog in the neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING.
You can never put anything back in a box the way it came.
Your tire gauge lets out half the air while you're trying to get a reading.
A station comes in brilliantly when you're standing near the radio but buzzes, drifts and spits every time you move away.
There are always one or two ice cubes that won't pop out of the tray.
You wash a garment with a tissue in the pocket and your entire laundry comes out covered with lint.
The car behind you blasts its horn because you let a pedestrian finish crossing.
A piece of foil candy wrapper makes electrical contact with your filling (or braces).
You set the alarm on your digital clock for 7pm instead of 7am.
The radio station doesn't tell you who sang that song.
You rub on hand cream and can't turn the bathroom doorknob to get out.
People behind you on a supermarket line dash ahead of you to a counter just opening up.
Your glasses slide off your ears when you perspire.
You can't look up the correct spelling of a word in the dictionary because you don't know how to spell it.
You have to inform five different sales people in the same store that you're just browsing.
You had that pen in your hand only a second ago and now you can't find it.
You reach under the table to pick something off the floor and smash your head on the way up.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRAMMAP1 9/9/2010 11:51PM

    Why do they sound funny now? They certainly didn't when those things happened. Thanks for sharing. Hugs, Jane

Report Inappropriate Comment
JAQUANAH 9/9/2010 9:51PM

    This is interesting. Some of those things often happen to me.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUGARPUNK52 9/9/2010 7:21PM

  Thanks for sharing.GOD bless.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CAROLYNVIL 9/9/2010 7:02PM

    Great blog. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KOOLNANA5 9/9/2010 4:05PM

    Kool blog emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
HALLALUYAH 9/9/2010 11:19AM

    I sure could use you on my next book have a great memory, unlike some people I Have a blessed day and I hope to see you around my blogs.
Love, Luyah emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NINALEE35 9/9/2010 10:06AM

    Wow! Can I identify! Thanks for the blog.

Report Inappropriate Comment

First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 Last Page