SUNSHINE65   55,393
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SUNSHINE65's Recent Blog Entries

Blonde Riding a Horse

Sunday, May 20, 2012

A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding assisted without any experience or lessons. She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. Out of sheer terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but slides down the side of the horse anyway.

The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is moments away from unconsciousness or even death when Todd, the Wall-Mart Manager, runs out to turn the horse off.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRANDMA624 5/21/2012 8:28PM

  emoticon emoticon

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NAYPOOIE 5/21/2012 1:51PM

    LOL

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SKMINNY 5/21/2012 7:58AM

    ha ha thats great, , here is one for u: there was 2 blondes wanting to go to disneyland, the got in the car and drove and drove, and drove some more. they came upon a sign that said disneyland left. they cried and cried and turned around and went home!

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PAMNANGEL 5/20/2012 9:26PM

    Oh dear. emoticon

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MRSVK11 5/20/2012 8:34PM

    oh my..lol

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ALICERIEGER 5/20/2012 10:26AM

    ooops!

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GI Insurance

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before.

Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones's sales pitch. Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said, "If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don't have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6000."

"Now," he concluded, "which bunch do you think they are going to send into battle first?"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PAMNANGEL 5/20/2012 9:28PM

    So that's how it works!

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MRSVK11 5/20/2012 8:35PM

    That's funny!!

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CJSARGENT1 5/20/2012 4:59PM

    emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 5/20/2012 10:28AM

    Good point

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New Navy chaplain

Thursday, May 17, 2012

My father was extremely nervous about his first funeral service as a Navy chaplain, but the undertaker assured him that he would prompt him. All went well until, at the close, the undertaker whispered to him to instruct the family to come up and view the body. "Will the family now come forward and pass around the bier," said my father.

He cringed inwardly when he heard his own words. Later, as my father was leaving, he overheard two of the cemetery workers talking. "I didn't get any beer," one said. "Did you?"

"You heard the chaplain," the other replied. "It was just for the family."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALICERIEGER 5/18/2012 10:52AM

    oh-oh

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Deep Thoughts For Those Who Take Life Way Too Seriously

Thursday, May 17, 2012

- Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

- A day without sunshine is like...night.

- On the other hand, you have different fingers

- 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

- 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

- Remember, half the people you know are below average.

- He who laughs last thinks slowest.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALICERIEGER 5/18/2012 10:50AM

    Good thoughts

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HELEN_BRU 5/18/2012 9:59AM

    emoticon

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GRANDMA624 5/17/2012 7:51PM

  emoticon emoticon

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CATLADY52 5/17/2012 12:14PM

    Beautifully said. emoticon

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MZZCHIEF 5/17/2012 11:25AM

    Love it!

: )
Mzzchief

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DFROMTX 5/17/2012 11:21AM

    emoticon emoticon

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JEANETTECURRY 5/17/2012 11:08AM

    Thank you for starting my morning off with a good laugh!! emoticon

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How to Drink and Drive Successfully

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Bubba and Billy were driving down the road while drinking beer when they spotted a roadblock ahead. "We're gonna get busted," whimpered Billy. "Don't worry," said Bubba. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers, then peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads and then toss the bottles under the seat. Just let me do the talking." They downed the beer, threw the empties out of sight and put the labels on their foreheads. When they reached the roadblock, the police officer asked, "You boys been drinking?" "No, sir," said Bubba, pointing at the labels. "Me and Billy are on the patch."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IDLETYME 5/17/2012 9:32PM

    Quick thinking Bubba!! emoticon

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RANDOM00B 5/17/2012 11:39AM

    That's awesome--thanks for the chuckle this morning!

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WILSON425 5/17/2012 11:35AM

    I'll bet they still got busted! emoticon

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MZZCHIEF 5/17/2012 11:24AM

    Cute!

: )
Mzzchief

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ALICERIEGER 5/17/2012 9:30AM

    creative thinking! Love it.

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FITANDFIFTY2 5/17/2012 12:36AM

    Lol..loved it!! Thank you for the laughter! emoticon

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CHIBIKARATE 5/17/2012 12:29AM

    ha ha to funny enjoy your day huggzzz

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