SUNSHINE65   58,708
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SUNSHINE65's Recent Blog Entries

Car Keys

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Several days ago as I left a meeting at a hotel; I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My wife has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them.
Her theory is that the car will be stolen. As I burst through the door, I came to a terrifying conclusion. Her theory was right. The parking lot was empty.

I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen. Then I made the most difficult call of all, "Honey," I stammered; I always call her "honey" in times like these. "I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen."

There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard her voice.
"Idiot", she barked, "I dropped you off!" Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me." She retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car."

Yep it's the golden years.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BUDDYSMYFRIEND 5/28/2012 3:15PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 5/25/2012 11:48AM

    Oh my

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BARCLE 5/24/2012 6:31PM

    Loved it, classic! emoticon

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NAYPOOIE 5/24/2012 11:31AM

    LOL

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OPANKA 5/24/2012 6:42AM

    Excellent story!!! Love it! Like a sunshine in a boring day!

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BAYBERRYBEAR 5/24/2012 12:44AM

    emoticon

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SASIKHASI1 5/24/2012 12:22AM

    Giggle, I would have loved to be a fly on the wall when she got you home lol. emoticon

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DRUIDPRINCESS 5/23/2012 11:32PM

    Loved your blog! It is so nice to take time out to smile. Thank you for sharing your story with us!
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SUNSHINE99999 5/23/2012 11:20PM

  nice blog. Blessings!

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Prescription....

Monday, May 21, 2012

An older man strode in to his doctor's office and said, "Doc, my druggist said to tell you to change my prescription and to check the prescription you've been giving to Mrs. Smith."

"Oh, he did, did he?" the doctor shot back. "And since when does a druggist second guess a doctor's orders?"

The old man says, "Since he found out I've been on birth control pills since February."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NAYPOOIE 5/23/2012 1:44PM

    ah, arrogance.

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GRANDMA624 5/23/2012 5:31AM

  emoticon emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 5/22/2012 2:03PM

    oh-oh

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CJSARGENT1 5/22/2012 10:11AM

    emoticon

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BAYBERRYBEAR 5/22/2012 1:06AM

    emoticon

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CHEROKEE1946 5/21/2012 9:58PM

    CUTE

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More Deep Thoughts For Those Who Take Life Way Too Seriously

Sunday, May 20, 2012

- Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

- The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

- Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

- Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

- If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

- How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BARCLE 5/24/2012 6:31PM

    emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 5/22/2012 2:04PM

    Thanks

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CJSARGENT1 5/21/2012 1:23PM

    emoticon

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GRAMMAP1 5/20/2012 11:07PM

    Those are clever. You do a great job of keeping things light! emoticon

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Blonde Riding a Horse

Sunday, May 20, 2012

A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding assisted without any experience or lessons. She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. Out of sheer terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but slides down the side of the horse anyway.

The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is moments away from unconsciousness or even death when Todd, the Wall-Mart Manager, runs out to turn the horse off.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRANDMA624 5/21/2012 8:28PM

  emoticon emoticon

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NAYPOOIE 5/21/2012 1:51PM

    LOL

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SKMINNY 5/21/2012 7:58AM

    ha ha thats great, , here is one for u: there was 2 blondes wanting to go to disneyland, the got in the car and drove and drove, and drove some more. they came upon a sign that said disneyland left. they cried and cried and turned around and went home!

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PAMNANGEL 5/20/2012 9:26PM

    Oh dear. emoticon

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MRSVK11 5/20/2012 8:34PM

    oh my..lol

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ALICERIEGER 5/20/2012 10:26AM

    ooops!

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GI Insurance

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before.

Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones's sales pitch. Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said, "If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don't have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6000."

"Now," he concluded, "which bunch do you think they are going to send into battle first?"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PAMNANGEL 5/20/2012 9:28PM

    So that's how it works!

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MRSVK11 5/20/2012 8:35PM

    That's funny!!

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CJSARGENT1 5/20/2012 4:59PM

    emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 5/20/2012 10:28AM

    Good point

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