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Answers given by 2nd grade school children about mothers:

Monday, May 14, 2012



Why did God make mothers?
1.  She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2.  Mostly to clean the house.
3.  To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1.  He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2.  Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3.  God made my mom just the same like he made me.  He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1.  God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2.  They had to get their start from men's bones.  Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1.  We're related.
2.  God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.

What kind of a little girl was your mom?
1.  My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2.  I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3.  They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about
dad before she married him?
1.  His last name.
2.  She had to know his background.  Like is he a crook?  Does he get drunk on beer?
3.  Does he make at least $800 a year?  Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1.  My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world.  And my mom eats a lot
2.  She got too old to do anything else with him.
3.  My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1.  Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2.  Mom.  You can tell by room inspection.  She sees the stuff under the bed.
3.  I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?
1.  Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2.  Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3.  Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.
4.  Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine..

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1.  Mothers don't do spare time.
2.  To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1.  On the inside she's already perfect.  Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2.  Diet.  You know, her hair.  I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1.  She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean.  I'd get rid of that.
2.  I'd make my mom smarter.  Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.
3.  I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KELLYBEANER77 5/28/2012 4:43PM

    Thanks for the chuckle :)

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ALICERIEGER 5/16/2012 10:42AM

    Great!

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BARCLE 5/15/2012 6:16PM

    emoticon

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MARTHASPARKS 5/15/2012 1:07PM

    Too cute!

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NAYPOOIE 5/15/2012 11:02AM

    Oh, these were priceless! I can't even pick a favorite.

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SCOOTDOG 5/15/2012 10:25AM

    emoticon love the child's point of view

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GRANDMA624 5/15/2012 9:56AM

  Love these! emoticon

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CRAZYGAGRANNY 5/15/2012 9:01AM

    emoticon emoticonLove This!

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NPA4LOSS 5/15/2012 8:56AM

    emoticon Too Cute! emoticon

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YANKEEBELLA 5/15/2012 6:56AM

    These are so cute!!

Hope you have a great day.

Blessings,
Susan


emoticon

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NINALEE35 5/15/2012 2:18AM

    This is absolutely priceless! Thanks for sharing.

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BAYBERRYBEAR 5/15/2012 1:30AM

    From the mouths of babes...


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MRSVK11 5/15/2012 12:46AM

    Glad you had a nice get away!
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Comment edited on: 5/15/2012 12:47:14 AM

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1COUNTRY_GAL 5/15/2012 12:09AM

    LOve the innocence of Children,thank you for posting! emoticon

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BOGUSANNIE 5/14/2012 11:14PM

    cute!

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No Internet!

Monday, May 14, 2012

Been out of WiFi range for three days! I missed you all, and I hope you missed my belly laughs! Am catching up slowly. Did enjoy getting to the ocean and renewing by watching the waves wash in and in. Lovely sunsets.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BAYBERRYBEAR 5/15/2012 1:31AM

    That getaway sounds fabulous! Glad you got to enjoy it!

Thanks for the belly laughs. We did miss you!!!

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We Have New Babies

Friday, May 11, 2012

For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.

One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.

The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, "Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?"

Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I think Mommy ate it!"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DFROMTX 5/13/2012 10:52AM

    emoticon

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IDLETYME 5/13/2012 10:07AM

    You never know what goes through a childs mind!!! emoticon

Comment edited on: 5/13/2012 10:08:10 AM

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BAYBERRYBEAR 5/12/2012 3:03AM

    emoticon

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GGMOM06 5/11/2012 5:04PM

    AWWWW, CUTE AND GLAD IT'S A JUST A JOKE.

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WILSON425 5/11/2012 12:19PM

    Poor little boy. I hope the teacher set him straight. LOL

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ALICERIEGER 5/11/2012 10:53AM

    Through the eyes of Babes!

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NAYPOOIE 5/11/2012 10:49AM

    Hee hee.

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HELEN_BRU 5/11/2012 9:22AM

    emoticon

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Writers' Conference

Thursday, May 10, 2012

'Writing: For the Sell of It' was the theme of our community college's annual writers' conference. When I called a widely published author and asked him to be our keynote speaker, my request was met with a long silence. He finally said, "I don't know what I would say to that audience."

"You're just being modest," I replied. "I'm sure you're extremely qualified to speak on that subject."

He suddenly broke into laughter. "I thought you said, 'Writing for the Celibate!'"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WILSON425 5/11/2012 12:20PM

    That explains it. LOL

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ALICERIEGER 5/11/2012 10:55AM

    Wow!

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BAYBERRYBEAR 5/11/2012 4:03AM

    emoticon

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My Dog Can't Swim...

Tuesday, May 08, 2012

www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtFmeGKklJk

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BAYBERRYBEAR 5/10/2012 2:39AM

    Hilarious! Love it!!!

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COACHPENNY 5/9/2012 10:50PM

    Love it!

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NAYPOOIE 5/9/2012 12:09PM

    LOL. I suspect he can swim, but doesn't like the water. I had a dog that actually could not swim, if he got out above his height, his butt would go down and he's sink completely, front legs flailing. For some reason, he wouldn't use his back legs, although if you grabbed his tail and brought his rear up, he'd start kicking and do just fine.

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ALICERIEGER 5/9/2012 9:09AM

    Great

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41SUSAN14 5/8/2012 11:37PM

    Smart dog!

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WILSON425 5/8/2012 10:53PM

    So funny! I had a black lab/golden retriever mix that got his collar caught under a dock and almost drown. I had to jump in and rescue him. He was afraid of water after that and my bf had to swim out to retrieve his own ducks! He was great with partridge. Just just don't shoot any birds near water! LOL

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