SUNSHINE65   62,485
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SUNSHINE65's Recent Blog Entries

Writers' Conference

Thursday, May 10, 2012

'Writing: For the Sell of It' was the theme of our community college's annual writers' conference. When I called a widely published author and asked him to be our keynote speaker, my request was met with a long silence. He finally said, "I don't know what I would say to that audience."

"You're just being modest," I replied. "I'm sure you're extremely qualified to speak on that subject."

He suddenly broke into laughter. "I thought you said, 'Writing for the Celibate!'"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WILSON425 5/11/2012 12:20PM

    That explains it. LOL

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ALICERIEGER 5/11/2012 10:55AM

    Wow!

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BAYBERRYBEAR 5/11/2012 4:03AM

    emoticon

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My Dog Can't Swim...

Tuesday, May 08, 2012

www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtFmeGKklJk

emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BAYBERRYBEAR 5/10/2012 2:39AM

    Hilarious! Love it!!!

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COACHPENNY 5/9/2012 10:50PM

    Love it!

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NAYPOOIE 5/9/2012 12:09PM

    LOL. I suspect he can swim, but doesn't like the water. I had a dog that actually could not swim, if he got out above his height, his butt would go down and he's sink completely, front legs flailing. For some reason, he wouldn't use his back legs, although if you grabbed his tail and brought his rear up, he'd start kicking and do just fine.

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ALICERIEGER 5/9/2012 9:09AM

    Great

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41SUSAN14 5/8/2012 11:37PM

    Smart dog!

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WILSON425 5/8/2012 10:53PM

    So funny! I had a black lab/golden retriever mix that got his collar caught under a dock and almost drown. I had to jump in and rescue him. He was afraid of water after that and my bf had to swim out to retrieve his own ducks! He was great with partridge. Just just don't shoot any birds near water! LOL

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A dollar a bucket

Tuesday, May 08, 2012

A New York retail clerk was suffering from aching feet. "It's all those years of standing," his doctor declared. "You need a vacation. Go to Miami, soak your feet in the ocean and you'll feel better."

When the man got to Florida, he went into a hardware store, bought two large buckets and headed for the beach.

"How much for two buckets of that seawater?" he asked the lifeguard.

"A dollar a bucket," the fellow replied with a straight face.

The clerk paid him, filled his buckets, went to his hotel room and soaked his feet. They felt so much better he decided to repeat the treatment that afternoon. Again he handed the lifeguard two dollars. The young man took the money and said, "Help yourself."

The clerk started for the water, then stopped in amazement. The tide was out. "Wow," he said, turning to the lifeguard. "Some business you got here!"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BAYBERRYBEAR 5/10/2012 2:49AM

    emoticon

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SCOOTDOG 5/8/2012 6:36PM

    emoticon Wonder if that was my last boss?

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WILSON425 5/8/2012 3:09PM

    emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 5/8/2012 1:32PM

    Good one!

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JEMPOWER 5/8/2012 12:43PM

    That's a good one! emoticon

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Shame on you!

Tuesday, May 08, 2012

My 7-year-old daughter came home from school one day, held up her middle finger, and asked me what it meant. I was so shocked that I could say only, "Shame on you," followed by, "If anyone does that to you, just say, "Shame on you" to that person.

Next week we were at the dinner table when my husband let out a huge belch. I reprimanded him by saying, "Shame on you."

Imagine my husband's shock when my daughter held up her middle finger, showed it to him, and exclaimed, "Mom, you forgot to give Daddy the 'shame on you' sign."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BAYBERRYBEAR 5/10/2012 2:47AM

    Whoops! emoticon

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KICK-SS 5/9/2012 1:36AM

    Best you give the child a little more accurate definition of "the finger" - maybe tell her it's something rude people do and is unacceptable. With using shame on you as an explanation, everytime someone does something that deserves a shame on you, she'll flip them off! These kids learn things so young... and stuff like that, unfortunately is what sticks with them sometimes................ emoticon

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CJSARGENT1 5/8/2012 8:16PM

    how cute

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JTREMBATH 5/8/2012 3:01PM

    Children come out with thing always at the wrong time to embarrass us.

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LESSOFPMCD 5/8/2012 1:47PM

    Great reminder to always watch what you do and say around kids!

They are like sponges and soak it all in even if you don't thnk they are.

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ALICERIEGER 5/8/2012 1:33PM

    Oooops!

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PICKIE98 5/8/2012 1:09PM

    O*M*G!!!!!!!!
Aren't you glad that your priest wasn't there for dinner?

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Animal Truisms

Tuesday, May 08, 2012

- I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult?

- If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket then giving Fido only two of them.

- In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.

- No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.

- Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

- People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

- Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane.

- Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

- We wonder why the dogs always drink out of our toilets, but look at it from their point of view: why do humans keep peeing into their water bowls?

- When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.

- Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALICERIEGER 5/9/2012 9:11AM

    New insight

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41SUSAN14 5/8/2012 11:42PM

    :-)

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NAYPOOIE 5/8/2012 12:12PM

    hmm, I never thought of poodles like that.

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HELEN_BRU 5/8/2012 8:16AM

    Cute!

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DENNETJ 5/8/2012 3:54AM

    I enjoyed these thank you

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