SUNSHINE65   58,223
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SUNSHINE65's Recent Blog Entries

Eggplants

Wednesday, May 02, 2012

A grocer put up a sign that read "Eggplants, 25 each -- three for a dollar."

All day long, customers came in exclaiming: "Don't be ridiculous! I should get four for a dollar!"

Meekly the grocer capitulated and packaged four eggplants. The tailor next door had been watching these antics and finally asked the grocer, "Aren't you going to fix the mistake on your sign?"

"What mistake?" the grocer asked. "Before I put up that sign no one ever bought more than one eggplant."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IDLETYME 5/3/2012 7:55PM

    Super merchandising! emoticon

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MRSVK11 5/2/2012 4:32PM

    Love it...lol

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LINDAMARIEZ1 5/2/2012 3:57AM

    I only have bought 2 in my lifetime! LOL

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Corvette

Monday, April 30, 2012

A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of
the dealership.... Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying
the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left.
"Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-85, pushing the pedal even
more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him,
lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then
120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this,"
and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. Pulling in behind him, the
trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my
shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for
speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a
State trooper.

I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRANDMA624 5/2/2012 8:22PM

  emoticon

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NAYPOOIE 5/1/2012 12:40PM

    Good one.

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41SUSAN14 5/1/2012 12:20PM

    :-)


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HELEN_BRU 5/1/2012 8:35AM

    emoticon

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KNITTINGNAN 4/30/2012 11:40PM

  Oh, you always know how to make me laugh!!!!!

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Bubba and the Gator

Sunday, April 29, 2012

A filthy rich man in Florida decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors. He also invited Bubba, the only redneck in the neighborhood.

He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion. Everyone was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ and flirting with the women.

At the height of the party, the host said, "I have a 10 ft man-eating gator in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who is brave enough to jump in."

The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Bubba in the pool!

Bubba was fighting the gator and kicking its hide! Bubba was jabbing the gator in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and choke holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping the gator through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor.

The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Bubba and the gator were screaming and raising hell. Finally Bubba strangled the gator and let it float to the top like a K-mart goldfish. Bubba then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.

Finally the host says, "Well, Bubba, I reckon I owe you a million dollars."

"No, that's okay. I don't want it," said Bubba.

The rich man said, "Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?"

"No thanks. I don't want it," answered Bubba.

The host said, "Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?"

Again Bubba said no.

Confused, the rich man asked, "Well, Bubba, then what do you want?"

Bubba said, "I want the name of the SOB who pushed me in the pool."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WILSON425 5/2/2012 8:34AM

    That would answer it. emoticon

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BAYBERRYBEAR 4/30/2012 1:35AM

    emoticon

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CJSARGENT1 4/29/2012 4:45PM

    emoticon

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EGALITAIRE 4/29/2012 3:19PM

    They could split the reward


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NAYPOOIE 4/29/2012 3:10PM

    LOL

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ALICERIEGER 4/29/2012 9:31AM

    I can see his point.

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HELEN_BRU 4/29/2012 9:29AM

    Funny! emoticon

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GRAMPAM 4/29/2012 8:55AM

    That's Hilarious!

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DFROMTX 4/29/2012 7:38AM

    emoticon Thanks for the chuckle this morning!

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IDLETYME 4/29/2012 7:24AM

    Funny! emoticon emoticon

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BONDMANUS2002 4/29/2012 3:49AM

  yes

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MAMAWALMART 4/29/2012 3:42AM

    I love this. I will have to tell my husband and son this one.
emoticon

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Army Cadet

Sunday, April 29, 2012

A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I guess when I die you'll come and dance on my grave."

The cadet replied, "Not me, Sarge...no sir! I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I'd never stand in another line!"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ELFANGOR87 7/25/2012 7:23PM

    emoticon

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BAYBERRYBEAR 4/30/2012 1:36AM

    emoticon

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IDLETYME 4/29/2012 8:59PM

    That's great - Thanks!!! emoticon

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MRSVK11 4/29/2012 1:03PM

    emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 4/29/2012 9:32AM

    Good come back.

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REDSHOES2011 4/29/2012 3:37AM

    emoticon

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The old flat tire excuse...great idea!

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes. After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire.

Much to their relief she smiled and said: "Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper."

Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said:

"First Question: Which tire was flat?"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JACKH35 4/29/2012 11:00AM

    Gotcha

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BAYBERRYBEAR 4/27/2012 12:53AM

    emoticon

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HELEN_BRU 4/26/2012 7:37PM

    I love it!

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NAYPOOIE 4/26/2012 4:10PM

    Spring fever is tough.

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ALICERIEGER 4/26/2012 12:44PM

    Smart teacher.

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41SUSAN14 4/26/2012 11:22AM

    Smart teacher!

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