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Drinking and driving

Sunday, April 22, 2012

All -
I would like to share an experience with you, about drinking and driving.

As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the odd social session over the years. A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends at the Marriott Hotel and had a few too many beers and some rather nice red wine.

Knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before: I took a bus home. Sure enough I passed a police road block but as it was a bus, they waved it past.

I arrived home safely without incident, which was a real surprise; as I have never driven a bus before and am not sure where I got it.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RETURNTOTHIN 4/23/2012 9:14PM

    the question is,,,,, did you return the bus?


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MOMMA_BEAR_69 4/23/2012 8:40PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
This really had me laughing tonight. Thank you!!!

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NAYPOOIE 4/22/2012 1:39PM

    LOL

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WILSON425 4/22/2012 11:12AM

    I hate when that happens! LOL

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HELEN_BRU 4/22/2012 10:47AM

    That reminds me of a story a famous Canadian sportswriter wrote - in the height of his alcoholism he and his cohorts stole a streetcar off the lot and drove it through the city of Toronto. So, it does happen! LOL

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GRAMPAM 4/22/2012 8:55AM

    Good Golly! That's funny! Have a great day!!!!

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ALICERIEGER 4/22/2012 8:40AM

    That is one way of 'taking' the bus

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Things I'd Like to Hear, Just Once

Sunday, April 22, 2012

From my auto mechanic:


"That part is much less expensive than I thought."

"I've never seen anyone maintain his car as well as you do."

"You could get that done more cheaply at the garage down the street."

"It was just a loose wire. No charge." 



From my son's preschool teacher:


"Everyone misbehaved today except Michael."

"Michael traded his candy bar for carrot sticks."

"I wish we had 20 Michaels."

From a store clerk: 


"The computerized cash register is down. I'll just add up your purchases with a pencil and paper."

"I'll take a break after I finish waiting on these customers."

"We're sorry we sold you defective merchandise. We'll pick it up at your home and bring you a new one or give you a complete refund, whichever you prefer." 



From my doctor:


"Of course I'll come by your house to check on you."

"Give me a call at home over the weekend if you're not feeling better."

"Sure, come on by this afternoon, we'll work you in."

"I'll call ahead and let them know the most you will pay for that test."

"Here, take these samples."

"Don't worry about it, there's no charge for that."

"I recommend you get a second opinion."

From a contractor:


"Whoever worked on this before sure knew what he was doing."

"I think I came in a little high on that estimate." 



From my dentist:


"I think you're flossing too much."

"I won't ask you any questions until I take the pick out of your mouth."



From a restaurant server:


"I think it's presumptuous for a waiter to volunteer his name, but since you ask, it's Tim."

"I was slow and inattentive. I cannot accept any tip."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VDALE4 4/25/2012 11:43AM

    Yes, those things would be nice to hear, I guess are pretty much in the past, especially the home doctor visits, once in a while you come across someone, that really cares about the service that they give, or how their remarks make you feel. Then it makes your day, when that happens. There are many out there like that, just have to be lucky, to find one I guess.

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WILSON425 4/22/2012 11:14AM

    And then you woke up. Right? LOL

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ALICERIEGER 4/22/2012 8:42AM

    wouldn't it be nice!

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NAYPOOIE 4/22/2012 3:10AM

    Dream on!

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Add More Drama To Your Life

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Tired of your humdrum life? Push the button




www.youtube.com/watch?v=316AzLYfAzw&
feature=youtu.be

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLUEMORNING 4/22/2012 1:59PM

    Loved it!!! I would so push the button!!!!

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TRISH579 4/22/2012 12:59PM

    Way cool!

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MZZCHIEF 4/22/2012 12:36PM

    THANK YOU!!!
this is just hysterical, and the sound track can't be beat!

: )
Mzzchief

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SKMINNY 4/22/2012 12:20PM

    ha ha ha, that would be awesome to do in my little town!!

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WILSON425 4/22/2012 11:18AM

    That would be fun to pull on some of these teenage drama queens! Oh, Oh. Now you've got me thinking. emoticon

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NAYPOOIE 4/22/2012 1:40AM

    That was indeed dramatic

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Fondest Wish

Saturday, April 21, 2012

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy young man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes away from him. The young man noticed her overly attentive stare & walked directly toward her. Before she could offer her apologies for being so rude for staring, the young man said to her, 'I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100, on one condition.' Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The young man replied, 'You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.'

The woman considered his proposition for a moment, withdrew from her purse and slowly counted out five $20 bills, which she pressed into the young man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes & slowly, meaningfully said, "Clean my house."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALICERIEGER 4/25/2012 8:08AM

    Wonderful.

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SKMINNY 4/22/2012 12:21PM

    ha ha loved this one too!

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BROOKRIVERS 4/22/2012 11:15AM

    Now those are 3 words I need to remember!!!! emoticon

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WILSON425 4/21/2012 10:51PM

    YES! Pull out that refridgerater and do the nasty! (I wonder how all that crap gets under there?!?) emoticon

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AJB121299 4/21/2012 10:50PM

    Nice

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Rules Kids Won't Learn in School

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Rule #1. Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teenager uses the phrase "it's not fair" 8.6 times a day. You got it from your parents, who said it so often you decided they must be the most idealistic generation ever. When they started hearing it from their own kids, they realized Rule #1.


Rule #2. The real world won't care as much about your self-esteem as your school does. It'll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. This may come as a shock. Usually, when inflated self-esteem meets reality, kids complain that it's not fair. (See Rule No. 1)


Rule #3. Sorry, you won't make $50,000 a year right out of high school. And you won't be a vice president or have a car phone either. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn't have a Gap label.


Rule #4. If you think your teacher is tough, wait 'til you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he is not going ask you how feel about it.


Rule #5. Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it opportunity. They weren't embarrassed making minimum wage either. They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about Fifty Cent all weekend.
Rule #6. It's not your parents' fault. If you screw up, you are responsible. This is the flip side of "It's my life," and "You're not the boss of me," and other eloquent proclamations of your generation. When you turn 18, it's on your dime. Don't whine about it or you'll sound like a baby boomer.


Rule #7. Before you were born your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning up your room and listening to you tell them how idealistic you are. And by the way, before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents' generation try delousing the closet in your bedroom. 


Rule #8. Life is not divided into semesters, and you don't get summers off. Nor even Easter break. They expect you to show up every day. For eight hours. And you don't get a new life every 10 weeks. It just goes on and on.


Rule #9. Television is not real life. Your life is not a sitcom. Your problems will not all be solved in 30 minutes, minus time for commercials. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop to go to jobs. Your friends will not be perky or as polite as Jennifer Aniston. 

Rule #10. Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.


Rule #11. Enjoy this while you can. Sure, parents are a pain, school's a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you'll realize how wonderful it was to be kid. Maybe you should start now.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WILSON425 4/21/2012 11:00PM

    Yes. So true. We always want better for our kids than what we had and look what happened. emoticon

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NAYPOOIE 4/21/2012 3:37PM

    And now if only they'd believe it.

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GRANDMA624 4/21/2012 9:07AM

  I love this emoticon

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