SUNSHINE65   62,421
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Fondest Wish

Saturday, April 21, 2012

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy young man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes away from him. The young man noticed her overly attentive stare & walked directly toward her. Before she could offer her apologies for being so rude for staring, the young man said to her, 'I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100, on one condition.' Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The young man replied, 'You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.'

The woman considered his proposition for a moment, withdrew from her purse and slowly counted out five $20 bills, which she pressed into the young man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes & slowly, meaningfully said, "Clean my house."

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALICERIEGER 4/25/2012 8:08AM


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SKMINNY 4/22/2012 12:21PM

    ha ha loved this one too!

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BROOKRIVERS 4/22/2012 11:15AM

    Now those are 3 words I need to remember!!!! emoticon

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WILSON425 4/21/2012 10:51PM

    YES! Pull out that refridgerater and do the nasty! (I wonder how all that crap gets under there?!?) emoticon

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AJB121299 4/21/2012 10:50PM


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Rules Kids Won't Learn in School

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Rule #1. Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teenager uses the phrase "it's not fair" 8.6 times a day. You got it from your parents, who said it so often you decided they must be the most idealistic generation ever. When they started hearing it from their own kids, they realized Rule #1.

Rule #2. The real world won't care as much about your self-esteem as your school does. It'll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. This may come as a shock. Usually, when inflated self-esteem meets reality, kids complain that it's not fair. (See Rule No. 1)

Rule #3. Sorry, you won't make $50,000 a year right out of high school. And you won't be a vice president or have a car phone either. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn't have a Gap label.

Rule #4. If you think your teacher is tough, wait 'til you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he is not going ask you how feel about it.

Rule #5. Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it opportunity. They weren't embarrassed making minimum wage either. They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about Fifty Cent all weekend.
Rule #6. It's not your parents' fault. If you screw up, you are responsible. This is the flip side of "It's my life," and "You're not the boss of me," and other eloquent proclamations of your generation. When you turn 18, it's on your dime. Don't whine about it or you'll sound like a baby boomer.

Rule #7. Before you were born your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning up your room and listening to you tell them how idealistic you are. And by the way, before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents' generation try delousing the closet in your bedroom. 

Rule #8. Life is not divided into semesters, and you don't get summers off. Nor even Easter break. They expect you to show up every day. For eight hours. And you don't get a new life every 10 weeks. It just goes on and on.

Rule #9. Television is not real life. Your life is not a sitcom. Your problems will not all be solved in 30 minutes, minus time for commercials. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop to go to jobs. Your friends will not be perky or as polite as Jennifer Aniston. 

Rule #10. Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.

Rule #11. Enjoy this while you can. Sure, parents are a pain, school's a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you'll realize how wonderful it was to be kid. Maybe you should start now.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WILSON425 4/21/2012 11:00PM

    Yes. So true. We always want better for our kids than what we had and look what happened. emoticon

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NAYPOOIE 4/21/2012 3:37PM

    And now if only they'd believe it.

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GRANDMA624 4/21/2012 9:07AM

  I love this emoticon

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Polar Bear Attack!

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOMMA_BEAR_69 4/19/2012 1:48AM

    I love it!!!

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BROOKRIVERS 4/17/2012 3:20PM

    If I had to be attacked by a polar bear then this would be the kind of polar bear I'd want to bump into.

Very cute -- when this size!

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MRSVK11 4/17/2012 2:31PM


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NAYPOOIE 4/17/2012 12:03PM


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WILSON425 4/17/2012 7:36AM

    OMG! How cute is that!

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NCSUE0514 4/17/2012 4:04AM

    They look so cuddly and sweet when they're little.

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Differences between men and women

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.

If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.

A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new argument.

Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GENRE009 3/17/2014 10:34AM

    These are great!

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MOMMA_BEAR_69 4/19/2012 1:48AM

    emoticon emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 4/17/2012 12:01PM


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SKMINNY 4/17/2012 11:20AM

    Oh my gosh that is great! love it

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HELEN_BRU 4/17/2012 9:22AM

    Some of those really hit the mark!

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Comfort in the night

Sunday, April 15, 2012

An elderly couple was in bed one night and the woman woke up from a bad dream. She was scared and panicking. Her husband awoke and turned the light on to calm her. He asked what was wrong. She said "I had a dream that I died and you got remarried." she asked him "If I died tomorrow would you get remarried?" he said "Sure, I don't want to spend the rest of my life lonely." Then she asked "Well would you two live in this house?" He replied "Sure, we just got finished paying off our mortgage." She asked again, angry now "Well would she sleep in this bed?" He snickered and said "Yes, of course; this bed is brand new and expensive; there's no reason to rid of it." She asked irately, "Well would she use my golf clubs?" He replied with a straight, serious face, "Heck, no. She's left handed."

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOMMA_BEAR_69 4/19/2012 1:47AM

    emoticon Sometimes it just doesn't pay to comment. emoticon

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WINTERHARTT 4/16/2012 12:01PM

    And people wonder why I like being divorced?? emoticon

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NAYPOOIE 4/16/2012 10:06AM

    Well, she's not scared anymore!

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ALICERIEGER 4/16/2012 9:19AM


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WILSON425 4/16/2012 7:31AM


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