SUNSHINE65   56,266
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4 YEAR OLDS

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Ever notice how  a 4 year old's voice is louder than 200 adult voices?   Several  years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a storm hit with crashing thunder and severe lightning.  As I came into my bedroom about 2a.m.,  I found my two children in bed with my wife Karey, apparently scared by the loud storm. I resigned myself to sleep in the guest bedroom that night. The next day, I talked to the children, and explained that it was O.K. to sleep with Mom when the storm was bad, but when I was expected home, please don't sleep with Mom that night. They said OK.
  After my next trip several weeks later, Karey and the children picked me up in the terminal at the appointed time. Since the plane was late, everyone had come into the terminal to wait for my plane's arrival, along with hundreds of other folks waiting for their arriving passengers. As I entered the waiting area, my son saw me, and came running shouting, "Hi, Dad! I've got some good news!" As I waved back, I said loudly, "What's the good news?" 
      "Nobody slept with Mommy while you were away this time!" Alex shouted. The airport became very quiet, as everyone in the waiting area looked at Alex, then turned to me, and then searched the rest of the area to see if they could figure out exactly who his Mom was.

* * * * * * *
An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then 4 yr. old daughter.  On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. 'Be still, my heart,' thought my friend, 'my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!' Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's.  May I take your order?"

* * * * * * *
 A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter."  Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but my mother says I'm not."

* * * * * * *
 At the beginning  of a children's sermon, one girl came up to the altar wearing a beautiful dress. As the children were sitting down around pastor, he leaned over and said to the girl, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter dress?"  The girl replied almost directly into the pastor's clip-on mike, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALICERIEGER 4/16/2012 9:23AM

    Out of the mouth's of babes.

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WILSON425 4/15/2012 12:52PM

    Ya gotta love these!

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GLC2009 4/15/2012 1:26AM

    i love 4 year olds. they are the best.

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FITFORMYFAMILY 4/14/2012 8:58PM

    Your blog title caught my eye, since I have a 4-year-old. If you want another little smile, please feel free to visit one of my blogs from last summer --
http://www.sparkpeople.com/my
page_public_journal_individual.
asp?blog_id=4296591

Thanks for the smiles!

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Shopping for Men

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women. Follow these rules and you should have no problems.

Rule #1: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.

Rule #2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. By the way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.

Rule #3: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.

Rule #4: Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.

Rule #5: You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.

Rule #6: Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it will sit in a cupboard for 23 years. Real men drink whiskey or beer.

Rule #7: Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or deodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy.

Rule #8: Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. "Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea. No one knows why.

Rule #9: Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over.

Rule #10: Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?"

Rule #11: Tickets to a Red Wing/Lions/Pistons/Tigers game are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts." Everyone knows why.

Rule #12: Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #8 and what happens when he gets a label maker.

Rule #13: It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why.

Rule #14: Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least the Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope. No one knows why...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WILSON425 4/15/2012 12:57PM

    LMAO! My bf holds the record for cordless drills and has 7 chainsaws! I don't know why! emoticon

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WINTERHARTT 4/14/2012 12:46PM

    Wow...this hits the nail on the head! LOL Love it!
emoticon

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MRSVK11 4/14/2012 9:10AM

    Loved it!! emoticon

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BOB240 4/14/2012 2:25AM

    yes..I had to but my own chainsaw... but the garden looks so much better without trees

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Potatoes

Friday, April 13, 2012

Every morning during our coffee break, my co-workers and I listened to the culinary disasters of a newlywed colleague. We then tried to share some helpful hints and recipes.

One day she asked us for step-by-step instructions on cooking sweet potatoes, one of her husband's favorites. "I've finally been able to make them sweet," she said, "but how do you make them orange?"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WILSON425 4/15/2012 1:00PM

    Yikes! Hopefully you never do any potluck get togethers for work! emoticon

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WINTERHARTT 4/13/2012 2:24PM

    emoticon That is great!!!! I needed a laugh today! That is so sad though when you think about it.

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CJSARGENT1 4/13/2012 1:51PM

    loved it.......... emoticon

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NAYPOOIE 4/13/2012 11:54AM

    Good one.

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GRANDMA624 4/13/2012 11:22AM

  Is she blonde? emoticon

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AUNTB63 4/13/2012 9:43AM

    Sounds like a cookbook with pictures is something the newly wed needs....cute story thanks for the chuckle this AM. emoticon

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SARAHCLARK5 4/13/2012 9:06AM

    You're fighting a losing battle there ! At least you have a good laugh with your morning coffee and that's better for you than biscuits !

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Boss and respect

Sunday, April 08, 2012

The boss was concerned that his employees weren’t giving him enough respect, so he tried an old fashioned method of persuasion: He brought in a sign that said “I’m the Boss” and taped it to his door. After lunch, he noticed someone had taped another note under his. “Your wife called. She wants her sign back!”

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ELSCO55 6/18/2012 10:51PM

    emoticon

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GRANDMA624 4/9/2012 6:56PM

  emoticon emoticon

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MRSVK11 4/9/2012 11:41AM

    emoticon

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HELEN_BRU 4/9/2012 9:20AM

    emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 4/9/2012 8:49AM

    Iguess everyone has a boss somewhere.

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Running Errands

Sunday, April 08, 2012

Freddie was eighteen years old, friendly, and eager to do things right. Unfortunately, he wasn't especially bright. He had just started his first job, as a delivery boy and general "go-fer" at a furniture warehouse. His first task was to go out for coffee.

He walked into a nearby coffee shop carrying a large thermos. When the counterman finally noticed him, he held up the thermos.

"Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?" he said. The counterman looked at the thermos, hesitated for a few seconds, then finally said, "Yeah. It looks like about six cups to me."

"Good," Freddie said. "Give me two regular, two black, and two decaf."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SMOOCHIESMOMMY2 4/8/2012 12:11PM

    cute and LOL @NAYPOOIE!

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HELEN_BRU 4/8/2012 10:00AM

    There's one in every crowd!

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ALICERIEGER 4/8/2012 9:56AM

    Makes sense to me.

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NAYPOOIE 4/8/2012 1:09AM

    I think freddie used to work for me.

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