SUNSHINE65   67,412
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In Uniform

Tuesday, April 03, 2012

My husband wore his Army uniform with pride. One day, coming home from the base and dressed in olive drab fatigues, he stopped off at the grocery store to pick up a few things.

While in line at the check out counter, he noticed a little boy standing with his Mother. The boy took one look at my husband in his uniform, and his eyes grew wide. My husband in turn gave the young man a crisp salute. The boy was so excited. He pointed at my husband and announced," LOOK , MOM, A GIANT BOY SCOUT."

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MRSVK11 4/4/2012 11:43AM


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NAYPOOIE 4/3/2012 5:49PM

    gotta love kids.

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    cute emoticon

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MSMAKEOVER 4/3/2012 10:39AM

    Sweet...made my heart warm...thanks for sharing.... emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 4/3/2012 7:31AM

    Through the eyes of a child.

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There will be no nursing home in my future........

Tuesday, April 03, 2012

When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations at Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:

1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.

2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service ( which means I can have breakfast in bed every day of the week).

3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night.

4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.

5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

6. I will get to meet new people every 7or 14 days.

7. T.V. broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience.

8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.

9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare. If you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you want to go? Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EGALITAIRE 4/4/2012 7:09AM

    I love it - plus you don't have to worry about pesky family visiting every day. Once every week or two would be just perfect.

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EXOTEC 4/4/2012 1:55AM

    You may say this tongue-in-cheek ... but I read an article somewhere, several years ago, about a woman who did exactly this. Not Princess Line, I don't think ... but still.

From what I can remember, she and her husband had vacationed with the line every year for who-knows-how-long ... and then he died. They had a condo somewhere, which she sold, and bought an unlimited-length passage (how this was accomplished I have no clue) on this cruise line they'd always patronized. I guess she had no family; I can't recall all the details. I was just flabbergasted at the whole concept. The more I think about it, the better I like it!

I'm not sure how the legal side of it would work. It's definitely a ponderable curiosity, though!


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GAMMY98 4/3/2012 11:07AM

    Great plan.

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ALICERIEGER 4/3/2012 7:33AM

    sounds like a plan!

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ARNETTELEE 4/3/2012 4:20AM

  sounds good.....

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Fresh Morning Sausage

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Amazing how many people donít really know how things really are!

Here you can get your fresh morning sausage.

Instant Sausage....hysterical

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YELLOWDAHLIA 3/31/2012 7:16PM

    LOL!!! Very funny!!

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NAYPOOIE 3/31/2012 6:00PM

    Thank you.

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Jokes to tell when you go to a baby shower

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Q: How long is the average woman in labor?
A: Whatever she says divided by two.

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Does pregnancy cause hemorrhoids?
A: Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for.

Q: What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth?
A: It means that the baby's mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse.

Q: What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?
A: When you see teeth marks.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IDLETYME 4/1/2012 8:01AM

    A happy way to start my day - Thanks!!! emoticon emoticon

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MRSVK11 3/31/2012 10:56PM

    Love the baby shower I had a boy that says it all.

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When Insults Had Class

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, "If you were my husband I'd poison your tea."
He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRANDMA624 3/30/2012 8:57AM

  So funny. I agree with Forrest Tucker. Nature has not been good to me. emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 3/30/2012 8:06AM

    It does seem the art of using the English language is lost.

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MRSVK11 3/28/2012 6:14PM

    Loved it!

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NAYPOOIE 3/28/2012 12:03PM


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SKINNYPOWELL1 3/28/2012 11:36AM

    These are definitely "classy", cute blog.

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MI-ELLKAYBEE 3/28/2012 11:19AM


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BEATLETOT 3/28/2012 3:53AM

    This was lovely. I was glad to see Oscar Wilde included in the list. It makes me think I must read more classical literature, to remember a time when people spoke so much better! Thanks for sharing!

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EXOTEC 3/27/2012 10:24PM

    LOVE things like this! I had /have? a book somewhere of insults penned by Shakespeare. Priceless. Our language and our mental skills have deteriorated so .... it's a shame!

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TIMOTHYNOHE 3/27/2012 10:02PM

    What none by Grouchy? He was a master at this sort of thing.

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SUEJENN 3/27/2012 9:55PM

    I love these. You are right. These people took the time to use some intelligence and wit. A lot more interesting than the four letter words.

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GAL7288 3/27/2012 9:49PM

    They were very hilarious, its a shame people do not speak this way, now a days I have tp ask if they can repeat what was said in normal english, lol.thanks for posting, I was laughing by myself all along!

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