SUNSHINE65   58,654
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SUNSHINE65's Recent Blog Entries

Doctor Ho Chi Minh Fernandez Gomez!

Friday, March 16, 2012

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: No problem! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?

Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!

Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Corona in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"

AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans...

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Buenos dios Amigos

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WILSON425 3/17/2012 11:05AM

    Great. English is my only language! I'm doomed.

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GRANDMA624 3/17/2012 9:07AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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AZURELITE 3/16/2012 10:07AM

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HELEN_BRU 3/16/2012 8:06AM

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MOIRA48 3/16/2012 5:56AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

This is great! Just the giggle I needed to start my day! emoticon

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We actually have come an incredible distance in 3 years!

Thursday, March 15, 2012

my.barackobama.com/road-traveled-inv

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RAWHIDE64 3/19/2012 9:51AM

   




Comment edited on: 3/20/2012 5:35:41 AM

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ALICERIEGER 3/18/2012 5:32AM

    Very interesting.

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CEELEE53 3/16/2012 4:20PM

    Love these! Thanks for sharing. Against incredible odds, he's been a great leader. Not perfect...but there is greatness in him. I have to believe the next four years will allow him to get even more accomplished.

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EVWINGS 3/16/2012 1:38PM

    Thank you so much! So many have forgotten so much and this was a real reminder.

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BRIDIE5 3/16/2012 1:06PM

  Thanks from me too!

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COACHPENNY 3/16/2012 12:04PM

    Thanks for posting this.....I will pass it along. This is our President...it makes me SO proud! emoticon

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Classified Goof-Ups

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once,you'll never go anywhere again. 

Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included. 


Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.


Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel. 


Stock up and save. Limit: one. 


Semi-Annual after Christmas Sale 


3 year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.


Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting off head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.


Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00 


For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.


Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand. 


For sale. Three canaries of undermined sex. 


Great Dames for sale.


Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MI-ELLKAYBEE 3/19/2012 12:15PM

    emoticon

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ALPHASENIOR 3/16/2012 2:40PM

    Looks like you really have it in for children.

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MOIRA48 3/16/2012 6:02AM

    emoticon

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NAYPOOIE 3/15/2012 11:19PM

    Nice that grandma is doing well.

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CJSARGENT1 3/15/2012 10:44PM

    emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 3/15/2012 10:51AM

    Fun! Thanks

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GRANDMA624 3/15/2012 9:18AM

  You always have the cutest blogs emoticon

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ELLEJAY7 3/15/2012 7:18AM

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WILSON425 3/15/2012 6:17AM

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NCSUE0514 3/15/2012 5:50AM

    LOL!

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You Know You've Had Too Much Coffee When...

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

*Juan Valdez names his donkey after you


*You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked


*You grind your coffee beans in your mouth


*You sleep with your eyes open


*You have to watch videos in fast-forward


*You lick your coffee pot clean


*Your eyes stay open when you sneeze


*The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse


*You can type sixty words a minute with your feet


*You can jump-start your car without cables


*Your only sources of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low" 


*You don't sweat, you percolate
*You've worn out the handle on your favorite coffee mug


*You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee


*You've worn the finish off you coffee table


*The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you


*Starbuck's owns the mortgage on your house


*You're so wired you pick up FM radio


*Your life's goal is to "amount to a hill of beans"


*Instant coffee takes too long


*You want to be cremated just so you can spend eternity in a coffee can


*You name your cats "Cream" and "Sugar" 


*Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position


*Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RAWHIDE64 3/16/2012 9:11AM

    Yup, that's me, except that I don't have cats. emoticon

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MRSVK11 3/14/2012 8:03PM

    I do think that coffee is the elixir of life but I'm not quite as bad off as I thought.

emoticon

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BARCLE 3/14/2012 1:31PM

    emoticon emoticon

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GERIKRAGH 3/14/2012 11:53AM

    I like coffee, just not that much!

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ALICERIEGER 3/14/2012 11:25AM

    I'm on my way there. Thanks

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GRANDMA624 3/14/2012 11:23AM

  I'm a coffee drinker, but not this bad. emoticon emoticon

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MI-ELLKAYBEE 3/14/2012 10:37AM

    This DEFINED me til I started SparkPeople and found out tea counts as water. Now I drink about 20 cups of tea a day, plus one coffee, and "some" plain water. I am still a coffee-holic in my heart!
emoticon

emoticon vs emoticon or both????

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FIT-HEALTHY1 3/14/2012 9:30AM

    Really cute post. Thanks for the smile today! I love coffee by the way. emoticon

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Or a bartender...

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Jay went to a psychiatrist. “Doc, he said, “I’ve got trouble. Every time I get into bed I think there is somebody under it. I get under the bed; I think there’s somebody on top of it. Top, under, under top. I’m going crazy!”

“Just put yourself in my hands for two years,” said the shrink. “Come to me three times a week and I’ll cure you.”

“How much do you charge?”

“A hundred dollars per visit.”

“I’ll think about it.”

Jay never went back. Some time later he met the doctor on the street. “Why didn’t you ever come to see me again? Asked the psychiatrist.

“For a hundred buck a visit? A bartender cured me for 10 dollars.”

“Is that so! How?”

“He told me to cut the legs off the bed.”

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MRSVK11 3/14/2012 8:04PM

    common sense prevailed...lol

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JULIAJEAN2 3/14/2012 12:55PM

    Hahaha! I had never heard that one before. Most bartender cures are only temporary this one sounded like it could work. Thanks for sharing a laugh with me today. Hope you have a wonderful one! Julia

P.S. I read your Spark page and just love your attitude. Hope you don't mind, but I just have to add you on my spark page as a friend. Keep on sparking with your wonderful attitude. Love it!

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ALICERIEGER 3/14/2012 11:26AM

    Makes sense to me.

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GRANDMA624 3/14/2012 11:25AM

  emoticon emoticon

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WILSON425 3/14/2012 10:01AM

    Sounds like a better idea to me! LOL

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