SUNSHINE65   60,203
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Definition of a Million

Wednesday, March 07, 2012

A man was praying to God.

He said, "God!?"

God responded, "Yes?"

And the guy said, "Can I ask a question?"

"Go right ahead," God said.

"God, what is a million years to you?"

God said, "a million years to me is only a second."

"Hmmm," the man wondered. Then he asked, "God, what is a million dollars worth to you?"

God said, "a million dollars to me is as a penny."

So the man said, "God. Can I have a penny?"

And God cheerfully said, "Sure!!.....just a second."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BEMORESTUBBORN 3/11/2012 12:40PM

    LOL!

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GRANDMA624 3/9/2012 8:22AM

  So cute!! emoticon$$$ emoticon

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BROOKRIVERS 3/7/2012 4:16PM

    emoticon You're getting me to smile . . . yet again!

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NAYPOOIE 3/7/2012 12:48PM

    Always knew God had a sense of humor.

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KELLI9001 3/7/2012 11:55AM

    Love that!! And so true.

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ALICERIEGER 3/7/2012 10:52AM

    Now that makes you think.
Thanks

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HELEN_BRU 3/7/2012 8:37AM

    emoticon

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The battle of the dads

Wednesday, March 07, 2012

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, 'My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.'

The second boy says, 'That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.'

The third boy says, 'I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!'

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRANDMA624 3/7/2012 8:23PM

  Amen!! emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 3/7/2012 10:53AM

    That's one way to look at things. Thanks

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Inner Wisdom Revealed

Monday, March 05, 2012

1. As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath.

2. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.

3. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.

4. I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself, unless I want to stay employed.

5. In some cultures, what I do would be considered normal.

6. Having control over myself is almost as good as having control over others.

7. My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of self-judgment.

8. I honor my personality flaws for without them I would have no personality at all.

9. Joan of Arc heard voices too.

10. I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.

11. I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper, and complain.

12. As I learn the innermost secrets of people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.

13. When someone hurts me, I know that forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as gratifying.

14. The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, to do nice things for myself. The third, to find someone to buy me nice things.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISSUSRIVERRAT 3/23/2012 8:56AM

    Do you make this stuff up???
You are a riot!!

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MRSVK11 3/5/2012 1:05PM

    emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 3/5/2012 10:03AM

    It is scary to think that some one might have some of those attitudes. Thanks for the chuckle.

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HELEN_BRU 3/5/2012 8:24AM

    Some truth in everything! emoticon

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Interview at the RR

Saturday, March 03, 2012

A brilliant young boy was applying for a job with the railways. The interviewer asked him: "Do you know how to use the equipment?"
"Yes", the boy replied.
"Then what would you do if you realized that 2 trains, one from this station and one from the next were going to crash because they were on the same track?"
The young applicant thought and replied "I'd press the button to change the points without hesitation."
"What if the button was frozen and wouldn't work?"
"I'd run outside and pull the lever to change the points manually"
"And if the lever was broken?"
"I'd get on the phone to the next station and tell them to change the points," he replied.
"And if the phone was broken and needed an electrician to fix it?"
The boy thought about that one. "I'd run into town and get my uncle"
"Is your uncle an electrician?"
"No, but he's never seen a train crash before!"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WILSON425 3/7/2012 11:11PM

    emoticon Did he get the job?

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ALICERIEGER 3/4/2012 10:19AM

    Thanks

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BROOKRIVERS 3/4/2012 9:39AM

    Thanks for keeping us laughing!

I like your new profile pic!!! Soooo cute!

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GRANDMA624 3/4/2012 9:09AM

  emoticon emoticon

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BEMORESTUBBORN 3/4/2012 9:00AM

    emoticon emoticon

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HELEN_BRU 3/4/2012 2:14AM

    emoticon

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For the ladies/girls only! (Men go ahead !!!)

Saturday, March 03, 2012

Gotta try this: It's amazing!

www.obtampons.com/apology

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUNSHINE65 3/3/2012 10:42PM

    The link doesn't seem to be working. Better Cut and paste this website:

http://www.obtampon
s.com/apology


If you put in another word that isn't a girl's name, it won't say it out loud, but it writes it on the music, rose petals, arm and sky. Like Clorox.

Comment edited on: 3/3/2012 10:43:12 PM

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SUNSHINE65 3/3/2012 10:38PM

    I put in a whole bunch of different names just to watch it again. It was fun.

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BEMORESTUBBORN 3/3/2012 10:26PM

    Not a product I need these days but it was fun to watch and listen to this. I got a kick out of seeing my name tattooed on the guy's arm! LOL!

Thanks for sharing!

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