SUNSHINE65   61,030
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SUNSHINE65's Recent Blog Entries

You're so dumb...

Saturday, March 10, 2012

- Spent a decade on the leading edge of drug experimentation.

- Still boots to DOS.

- Still sending messages with his secret decoder ring.

- Still traumatized from the forest fire in "Bambi".

- Stuck on the down escalator of life.

- Stumped by anything child-proof.

- Subtle as a well-thrown brick.

- Suffers from Clue Deficit Disorder.

- Surfing in Nebraska.

- Switch is on, but no one's receiving.

- Takes 1.5 hours to watch "60 Minutes".

- Takes an hour to cook minute rice.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NAYPOOIE 3/12/2012 11:24AM

    I don't boot to DOS, but I confess I still use a batch file to back up

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EXOTEC 3/12/2012 11:02AM

    Oh man! these are so "me"!!! LOL

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GRANDMA624 3/12/2012 5:36AM

  emoticon emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 3/11/2012 4:29PM

    Stumped by anything childproof - that's me. Thans againg for the chuckle.

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BROOKRIVERS 3/10/2012 11:24PM

    Clue Deficit Disorder -- gotta remember that one!

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TWEETYKC00 3/10/2012 9:24PM

    Love them!

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Dating Game?

Saturday, March 10, 2012

A male frog goes to a psychic. The psychic tells him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."

The frog becomes excited, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party?"

"No," says the psychic, "in her biology class."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WILSON425 3/14/2012 10:04AM

    emoticonOh cr@p!

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GRANDMA624 3/12/2012 5:40AM

  emoticon Oh no!!!

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ALICERIEGER 3/11/2012 4:29PM

    Ooops! Thanks.

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TUTUNAN 3/11/2012 2:48PM

    I love your posts. emoticon

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Definition of a Million

Wednesday, March 07, 2012

A man was praying to God.

He said, "God!?"

God responded, "Yes?"

And the guy said, "Can I ask a question?"

"Go right ahead," God said.

"God, what is a million years to you?"

God said, "a million years to me is only a second."

"Hmmm," the man wondered. Then he asked, "God, what is a million dollars worth to you?"

God said, "a million dollars to me is as a penny."

So the man said, "God. Can I have a penny?"

And God cheerfully said, "Sure!!.....just a second."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BEMORESTUBBORN 3/11/2012 12:40PM

    LOL!

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GRANDMA624 3/9/2012 8:22AM

  So cute!! emoticon$$$ emoticon

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BROOKRIVERS 3/7/2012 4:16PM

    emoticon You're getting me to smile . . . yet again!

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NAYPOOIE 3/7/2012 12:48PM

    Always knew God had a sense of humor.

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KELLI9001 3/7/2012 11:55AM

    Love that!! And so true.

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ALICERIEGER 3/7/2012 10:52AM

    Now that makes you think.
Thanks

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HELEN_BRU 3/7/2012 8:37AM

    emoticon

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The battle of the dads

Wednesday, March 07, 2012

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, 'My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.'

The second boy says, 'That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.'

The third boy says, 'I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!'

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRANDMA624 3/7/2012 8:23PM

  Amen!! emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 3/7/2012 10:53AM

    That's one way to look at things. Thanks

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Inner Wisdom Revealed

Monday, March 05, 2012

1. As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath.

2. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.

3. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.

4. I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself, unless I want to stay employed.

5. In some cultures, what I do would be considered normal.

6. Having control over myself is almost as good as having control over others.

7. My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of self-judgment.

8. I honor my personality flaws for without them I would have no personality at all.

9. Joan of Arc heard voices too.

10. I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.

11. I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper, and complain.

12. As I learn the innermost secrets of people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.

13. When someone hurts me, I know that forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as gratifying.

14. The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, to do nice things for myself. The third, to find someone to buy me nice things.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISSUSRIVERRAT 3/23/2012 8:56AM

    Do you make this stuff up???
You are a riot!!

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MRSVK11 3/5/2012 1:05PM

    emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 3/5/2012 10:03AM

    It is scary to think that some one might have some of those attitudes. Thanks for the chuckle.

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HELEN_BRU 3/5/2012 8:24AM

    Some truth in everything! emoticon

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