SUNSHINE65   58,040
SparkPoints
50,000-59,999 SparkPoints
 
 
SUNSHINE65's Recent Blog Entries

Cook's Helper

Saturday, February 25, 2012



If it's too small to read, click this link:

www.arcamax.com/thefunnies/pickles/

  


The Family Maid

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

A husband and his wife advertised for a live-in maid to cook and do the housework. A likely-looking girl came in from the country, and they hired her. 



She worked out fine, was a good cook, was polite, and kept the house neat. One day, after about six months, she came in and said she would have to quit.



"But why?" asked the disappointed wife. 



She hemmed and hawed and said she didn't want to say, but the wife was persistent, so finally she said, "Well, on my day off a couple of months ago I met this good-looking fellow from over in the next county, and well, I'm pregnant."



The wife said, "Look, we don't want to lose you. My husband and I don't have any children, and we'll adopt your baby if you will stay."



She talked to her husband; he agreed, and the maid said she would stay. The baby came, they adopted it, and all went well.



After another year, though, the maid came in again and said that she would have to quit. The wife questioned her, found out that she was pregnant again, talked to her husband, and offered to adopt the baby if she would stay. She agreed, had the baby, they adopted it, and life went on as usual.



In a few months, however, she again said she would have to leave. Same thing. She was pregnant. They made the same offer, she agreed, and they adopted the third baby.

She worked for a week or two, but then said, "I am definitely leaving this time." 



"Don't tell me you're pregnant again?" asked the lady of the house.



"No," she said, "there are just too many kids here to pick up after."

emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRANDMA624 2/24/2012 8:27AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ALICERIEGER 2/21/2012 5:49PM

    That's one way of getting out of picking up after your kids.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BARCLE 2/21/2012 4:25PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHIRLANGEL 2/21/2012 2:11PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NURSEA32 2/21/2012 9:37AM

    LMAO...this was cute

Report Inappropriate Comment


Allee Oop!

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, "All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, 'ALLLLEEE OOOP!' really loudly in the horse's ear. Providing you do that, you'll be fine."

The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer's ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers "Aleeee ooop" in the horse's ear. The same thing happens--the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, "It's no good, I'll have to do it," and yells, "ALLLEEE OOOP!" really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third.

The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong. The jockey replies, "Nothing is wrong with me--it's this bloody horse. What is he--deaf or something?"

The trainer replies, "Deaf?? DEAF?? He's not deaf--he's BLIND!"


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRANDMA624 2/25/2012 8:30AM

  emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DREAMNSCHEME 2/23/2012 2:54PM

    lol, thanks for sharing!

Report Inappropriate Comment
HELEN_BRU 2/23/2012 9:22AM

    Nice way to start the day!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ALICERIEGER 2/21/2012 8:07AM

    Thanks

Report Inappropriate Comment
DRB13_1 2/21/2012 12:23AM

    funny

Report Inappropriate Comment
DWILCZKO 2/21/2012 12:12AM

  :)

Report Inappropriate Comment


You Are What You Eat

Monday, February 20, 2012

Two friends went out to dinner. They were reading through the menu
when one friend remarked to the other that scientist say we are what we eat.

The other friend replied, "I don't know if that's true, but let's err on the side
of caution and order something rich!"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ELLFIN3 2/20/2012 3:20PM

    emoticon Thanks!! ((HUGS))!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ALICERIEGER 2/20/2012 10:46AM

    That is one way of thinking. Thanks

Report Inappropriate Comment
MI-ELLKAYBEE 2/20/2012 10:19AM

    If only that were possible....

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUPERMOUSE35 2/20/2012 9:52AM

    Ha!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LATTELEE 2/20/2012 12:55AM

  Love it!

Report Inappropriate Comment


Mixed metaphors

Sunday, February 19, 2012

English professors love to catch the errors students make in their term papers, and they love nothing better than to catch mixed metaphors. The "friends and survivors" of Calvin College English department collected this list of mixed metaphors and posted them on their web site:

"He swept the rug under the carpet."
"She's burning the midnight oil at both ends."
"It was so cold last night I had to throw another blanket on the fire."
"It's time to step up to the plate and cut the mustard."
"She's robbing Peter to pay the piper."
"He's up a tree without a paddle."
"Beware my friend...you are skating on hot water."
"Keep your ear to the grindstone."
"Sometimes you've gotta stick your neck out on a limb."
"Some people sail through life on a bed of roses like a knife slicing through butter."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

2BEATIT1 2/19/2012 7:33PM

    You always give us a chuckle.
Thanks for sharing. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ALICERIEGER 2/19/2012 11:27AM

    You have done it again. I got my morning chuckle. Thanks

Report Inappropriate Comment


First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 Last Page