SUNSHINE65   66,802
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SUNSHINE65's Recent Blog Entries

Amish Humor

Friday, February 17, 2012

While driving in Pennsylvania , a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign... "Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALICERIEGER 2/21/2012 8:10AM

    Great!

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HELEN_BRU 2/20/2012 11:16AM

    Loved it!

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AQUAGIRL08 2/18/2012 6:45PM

    Good one!

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CJSARGENT1 2/18/2012 1:22PM

    great

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GRANDMA624 2/18/2012 8:36AM

  emoticon

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IDLETYME 2/18/2012 8:03AM

    That's really cute - emoticon

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SUPERMOUSE35 2/18/2012 1:53AM

    Heh, excellent.

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HPURDY28 2/18/2012 12:47AM

    emoticon That is funny. I like that.

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Good Night, Good Bye

Thursday, February 16, 2012

A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers - which she ended by saying "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma, and good-bye Grandpa."

The father said, "Why did you say good-bye to Grandpa?"

The little girl said, "I don't know, Daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."

The next day Grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like this -- "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, and good-bye Grandma." The next day the grandmother died.

My goodness, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side.

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the Dad heard her say, "God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy."

He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be OK. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.

Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home. When he got home his wife said, "I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?"

He said, "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."

She said, "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning the mailman dropped dead on our porch."

emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KNITTINGNAN 2/18/2012 12:41AM

  That certainly took a long time to get to the punchline, but it was worth it!!!

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DREAMNSCHEME 2/17/2012 2:43PM

    LOL, thanks for sharing!

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MI-ELLKAYBEE 2/17/2012 12:01PM

    emoticon

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RAWHIDE64 2/16/2012 7:16PM

    ROFL I read this to my wife and daughter and they roared!

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ALICERIEGER 2/16/2012 6:55PM

    Oops!

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NAYPOOIE 2/16/2012 11:32AM

    Love it.

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WOUBBIE 2/16/2012 9:46AM

    LOL! I totally never saw that coming!!!

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Little League Conference

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Coach Jones called the young lad in from center field during a Little League game for a conference.

"See here Larry," said the coach, "you know the principles of good sportsmanship that the Little League practices. You also know we don't tolerate temper tantrums, shouting at the umpire, or abusive language. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, sir," replied Larry.

"Well, then Larry," sighed Coach Jones, "would you please try to explain it to your mother?"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ELLFIN3 2/15/2012 2:26PM

    Oh Yes!!! emoticon GrandMothers are bad too!!!!!

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NAYPOOIE 2/15/2012 11:54AM

    Soccer moms are the worst.

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WOUBBIE 2/15/2012 10:02AM

    LOL! Two words: Hockey. Moms. Brrrrrrr!!

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Happy as a Clam

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Then there is researcher Peter Fong, who has given new meaning to the expression "happy as a clam." The Gettysburg College biologist stumbled onto the fact that molluscs reproduce at 10 times their normal rate if Prozac is dumped in the water.

Fong was pursuing research on the basic nervous system of fingernail clams when he discovered that if he dumped the antidepressant into the water, the clams would start reproducing madly.

"It's a piece of wonderful science and it sounds utterly ridiculous at the same time," Abrahams said.

Traffic was backed up almost to a standstill this morning as I drove to work. I turned on the radio to listen to my favourite rock station but they were playing Rockabilly which I absolutely detest.

So I decided to ram the dial for something better and happened to tune in a local talk show host who was ranting about government waste of funds on useless research projects.

He was objecting to congress funding a project to a team in Gettysburg, PA , that was feeding clams and other molluscs large doses of Prozac to determine its effect on these sea dwellers. He cited this as an example of government waste.

I immediately phoned him on my cellular phone and found myself on the air.

The host was very unhappy when I told him that this research was very important as it was essential to determine if Prozac was effective as a mussel relaxant.


(Sorry!)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NAYPOOIE 2/15/2012 12:03PM

    zing!

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SUPERMOUSE35 2/15/2012 8:56AM

    Ahahaha, awesome. :D

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PEEDLE 2/15/2012 1:09AM

    I love plays on words!

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PMS and Lightbulbs

Monday, February 13, 2012

Q. How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A. One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS. But if they did, by some miracle, find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID LIGHT BULBS CAME IN. WHY??? BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE!! THE HOUSE!!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AUNTWILLIE 2/14/2012 8:13PM

    Nearly fell over laughing! emoticon

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REACHING4HOME 2/14/2012 6:03PM

    I have a daughter exactly like this. I think she is still going on about why kids that don't live in her neighborhood come to her house for treats on Halloween!
Erin

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IDLETYME 2/14/2012 5:36PM

    It helps to get it all off your chest, doesn't it!!!!! emoticon

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ALPHASENIOR 2/14/2012 5:15PM

    That was such a pleasure to read! I'll bet you feel wonderful now, especially knowing we all are in the same boat.

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MARYB73 2/14/2012 4:33PM

    Love it!

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DREAMNSCHEME 2/14/2012 10:18AM

    LOL!

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ALICERIEGER 2/14/2012 9:18AM

    Pretty typical, I would say.

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SUPERMOUSE35 2/14/2012 8:42AM

    LOL!

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WOUBBIE 2/13/2012 10:44PM

    Do you have cameras in my house?!

emoticon

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