SUNSHINE65   58,760
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SUNSHINE65's Recent Blog Entries

PMS and Lightbulbs

Monday, February 13, 2012

Q. How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A. One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS. But if they did, by some miracle, find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID LIGHT BULBS CAME IN. WHY??? BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE!! THE HOUSE!!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AUNTWILLIE 2/14/2012 8:13PM

    Nearly fell over laughing! emoticon

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REACHING4HOME 2/14/2012 6:03PM

    I have a daughter exactly like this. I think she is still going on about why kids that don't live in her neighborhood come to her house for treats on Halloween!
Erin

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IDLETYME 2/14/2012 5:36PM

    It helps to get it all off your chest, doesn't it!!!!! emoticon

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ALPHASENIOR 2/14/2012 5:15PM

    That was such a pleasure to read! I'll bet you feel wonderful now, especially knowing we all are in the same boat.

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MARYB73 2/14/2012 4:33PM

    Love it!

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DREAMNSCHEME 2/14/2012 10:18AM

    LOL!

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ALICERIEGER 2/14/2012 9:18AM

    Pretty typical, I would say.

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SUPERMOUSE35 2/14/2012 8:42AM

    LOL!

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WOUBBIE 2/13/2012 10:44PM

    Do you have cameras in my house?!

emoticon

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Chicken Little

Monday, February 13, 2012

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part where Chicken Little warns the farmer. She read, "...and Chicken Little went up the the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling!'" The teacher then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said. "I think he said: 'Holy Sh*t! a talking chicken!'"
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALICERIEGER 2/14/2012 9:19AM

    Out of the mouth of Babes! Wonderful.

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PEEDLE 2/13/2012 9:40AM

    I guess that lightened the teacher's day and gave her something to talk about in the teacher's lounge!

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You are a Nerd If...

Sunday, February 12, 2012

- If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires


- If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal


- If you have more toys than your kids


- If you need a checklist to turn on the TV


- If you have introduced your kids by the wrong name 

- If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work

- If your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight


- If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush up to the front to fix it


- If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary


- If you have memorized the program scheduled for the Discovery channel and have seen most of the shows already

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CJSARGENT1 2/12/2012 7:22PM

    So true

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ALICERIEGER 2/12/2012 1:09PM

    I have met a few nerds - you are not far off. Thanks

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SUPERMOUSE35 2/12/2012 11:02AM

    LOL!

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GRANDMA624 2/12/2012 9:32AM

  I need the checklist to turn the TV on. emoticon

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JULIEANNCAN 2/12/2012 5:46AM

    emoticon

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Math Homework

Saturday, February 11, 2012

A little boy was doing his math homework.
He said to himself, "Two plus five, the son of a bitch is seven.

Three plus six, the son of a bitch is nine..."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"

The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.
"Yes," he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?"

The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, the Son of a bitch is four?"

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered,
.
.
.
.
.
"What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALICERIEGER 2/12/2012 1:12PM

    Love it!

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GRANDMA624 2/12/2012 9:30AM

  emoticon emoticon

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WOUBBIE 2/11/2012 6:32PM

    Bitersweet memories! I told this joke to my dearest aunt just a day or two before she passed, and it made her laugh out loud, even though she was in a lot of pain at the time. Still cracks me up too!

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MYOWNHERO 2/11/2012 6:28PM

    Oh......LOLOLOL!

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PAMNANGEL 2/11/2012 6:21PM

    emoticon

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Remember you make a difference. ~ Noah benShea

Friday, February 10, 2012

1. Being broke is not the same as being broken, losing money is not the same as being lost, and finding your balance is not something you can do on a balance sheet.

2. Don't confuse having less with being less, having more with being more, or what you have with who you are.

3. Slow down. What you're chasing may be trying to catch you.

4. Prayer is a path where there is none.

5. Put your faith and not your fears in charge.

6. God only gave you two arms. If you're busy hugging the past you can't embrace the future.
Don't let the past kidnap your future.

7. This too shall pass. Change is the only constant. In order to take a breath you must release your breath.

8. Do what you can, but never forget that letting go is very different from giving up.

9. Break the rules that are breaking you. Tough times don't require you to be tough on yourself. Find the courage to suffer happiness.

10. Remember, remember, remember... Things don't have to be good for you to be great.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MRSJERRYBUSH 2/12/2012 12:42PM

    emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 2/10/2012 12:43PM

    These are thoughts that we all should embrace. Thank you so much for sharing.

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SUPERMOUSE35 2/10/2012 4:46AM

    Very nice, thanks

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LADYBABSALOT 2/10/2012 12:52AM

    Very inspirational, thank you for sharing your thoughts - sounds like a great philosophy to live by!!

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WALIDGAZALA 2/10/2012 12:45AM

    Beautiful

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